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A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors

.

The Russian said, “I will demonstrate the bravery of our sailors.”

He calls a sailor over and says, “Jump off the ship. Swim under it and climb back up.”

The sailor promptly salutes and jumps off the flight deck, swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front o...

Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...

"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."

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A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool that turns the waters into any substance of your choice if you shout it out loud enough before jumping in.

The Japanese threw his wooden sandals aside and ran towards the pool shouting "Sakeeee!!" He landed happily in 5 feet of Japanese rice wine. The Russian threw his AK-47 aside and ran to the pool screaming "Vodkaaaa!" as he lept in the air. He happily swam and drank the purest Russian Vodka after. Th...

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A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."

Obvious repost

As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.

Turks: you come in our country and have the balls to insult us.

Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.

Turks: Let's get him outside.

Russian: that's your second p...

I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...

It went in one ear and out the other.

The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell..

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don’t belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: ‟I’ll strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I’ll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield”.

The American goes first. He buil...

Never accept tea offered by the Russian President

You don´t know what Vladimir Putin

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery

They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."

"They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.

The Russian speaks up, "...

An American and a Russian were talking in a bar

The American began to boast about his country, claiming it's the land of the free.

"I could walk straight up to the White House and shout "Death to the American President" and nothing happens to me."

Hearing this the Russian smirked

"I too can walk up to the Kremlin and shout "...

Cardi B’s sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly

They call her ‘Cagey B’

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A Russian Jew had been allowed to emigrate to Israel.

A Russian Jew had been allowed to emigrate to Israel.

At Moscow airport, customs found a Lenin statue in his baggage and asked him, "What is this?"

The man replied, "What is this? Wrong question comrade. You should have asked : Who is he? This is Comrade Lenin. He laid the foundations...

A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"

They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.

"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're naked and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and ...

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A sexual predator, a racist, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What can I get you Mr. President?"

A classic Russian joke...

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:

The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home...

What’s going through the mind of a Russian roulette player?

A bullet

What do you call a Russian bike?

A cykal

A Russian joke

One morning, a KGB agent knocks on the door of a house. A man answers the door, and the agent asks, "Hello, does comrade Abramovich live here?"

The man replies, "No," so the agent thanks him for his time and leaves.

The next morning, the agent once again goes up to that same house, kno...

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I asked a friend why she prefers Russian porn

She said because Russian porn gets me Soviet

A Russian, a Brit and an American are stuck on a mountain

While they wait for rescue to arrive, they get together for a meal. As everyone is taking out their kits and prepping, the Russian starts boasting "in the soviet army, they feed us 2000 calories of food a day". The Brit turns and scoffs at him, then he says " in the royal army, we are fed 4000 calor...

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What do pussy and the Russian Mafia have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

TIL For 15 years, the Swedes thought sounds from the sea were Russian submarines invading their territory. They regularly investigated, sending subs, boats and helicopters - at great expense - only to come up empty-handed.

Upon investigation by a biologist, the noise was discovered to be farts from fish.

It seems the Swedes were having herring problems.

Why do I hate Russian dolls?

Because they are so full of themselves

If pronouncing my b’s as v’s makes me sound russian

Then soviet

[NSFW] An American and a Russian walk in a bar...

“One beer, please,” asks the American before downing the beer.

“Da, two beer,” asks the Russian in response, downing both.

Not wanting to be outdone, the American ordered;

“Three beers and shot of whiskey, please,” before downing them all in quick succession.

Not one to b...

A Russian joke from HBO’s Chernobyl

What do you call something as big as a house, uses tons of gas, and cuts apples into 3 pieces?



A Soviet machine made to cut apples into 4 pieces.

A Russian joke

An American, a Serbian, a Russian and a Greek are stuck in a falling airplane. There are only three parachutes there.

The American says “I am from the most important country. Let me jump, I am important.” The Serbian gives him a parachute and the American jumps.

Then the Greek says “I ...

Entire Russian history in five words

Russian history in five words: "And then things got worse."

My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters...

He doesn't like Capitalism

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Russian Joke

Russian policeman pulls over flashy new Bentley. Tinted window rolls down and cop sees an average woman is inside. Yet, she's wearing expensive jewelry and fur. She opens her wallet and instead of her paperwork, crumples up few $100 notes and throws them into cop's face. "There, now fuck off and let...

A Russian, went to USA for an eye check up

The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY

Doctor: Can you read this ?

Russian: Read ??? I even know this guy, he’s my cousin.

What’s a russian’s favorite US state?

AK

Why was it the Russians that made alcohol out of potatoes instead of the Irish?

Because we'll make alcohol out of anything, except our potatoes. Our potatoes are sacred.

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A Russian stumbles on something hard and sharp on his way home from work one night.

He bends over to pick up the object and proceeds to brush the snow off of it only to discover a genie rushing out of this lamp.
“Hello master, I can grant you one wish.”
After half a second of thought the Russian says “I want to piss Vodka for the rest of my days.”
“Granted” says the genie...

My friend is a man of extreme luck. He won the Russian roulette 5 times in a row!

\*was

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A Russian joke (sorry if a repost)

One day a Soviet Party member is walking through red square when he hears a man shout “down with the tyrant with the mustache.” Immediately the party member drags the man to Stalin and explains what he said. Stalin, furious asks: why did you say that? The man replies he was talking about Hitler. Sta...

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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any ...

A russian village has a tradition...

...where each year they they hold a very unusal contest, that consists of 4 challenges: First, the contestants must down a bottle of vodka, then they must swim across an icy lake, third they must shake hands with a chained up wild bear on the other side, and finally they have to run to the closest v...

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A Russian Cossack, an American Cowboy, and a Mexican Bandito are sitting on a ridge getting drunk at their camp.

After some merriment, the Cossack rises to his feet, throws his bottle of vodka into the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots it and says "Ah, we have too much of that in my country anyway." The Bandito looks at the bottle of tequila in his hand, then throws it, pulls his pistol, shoots it out of th...

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A German, an Estonian and a Russian hold a challenge.

They have to drink a bucket of vodka, arm wrestle a bear in a cave and fuck a nun. The German starts, gets through half a bucket of vodka and falls off. The Estonian drinks the whole bucket and falls off. The Russian, however, finishes his bucket, goes into the cave. Loads of screaming can be heard ...

How does a Russian refresh himself on a hot day?

With a Cold War

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A Russian lady married an English gentleman and they lived in London .

She was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked l...

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An American, a Russian, and a Chinese

An American, a Russian, and a Chinese each got stranded on an uninhabited island.

Just as they started to lose hope, God visits all three of them. And gave each of them a food supply good for 1 month, a dog and a task. Their task was to make the dog learn how to speak human language when he c...

What do you call the rich Russian elite?

kreml-de-la-crème

We've all heard about Russian Roulette but how many of you have heard about Indian Roulette?

They give you a flute and six large deadly cobras.

And one of the cobras is deaf.

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish these time zones.

"Why?", Putin asks him.

"Ah, I can't find myself with these times."

"I fly to another city, call home and everybody's asleep."

"I last woke up 4 in the morning, but thought it was only evening."

"I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday, and she tells me s...

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

“What are you reading, old man?” he asks.

“I’m learning Hebrew, comrade,” replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, “What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.”

“I’m learning Hebrew for when ...

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for...

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for Covid-19. It's been kept very, very quiet for security reasons. I received my first shot and wanted to let you know that it’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, чт...

I already got vaccinated with the Russian COVID-19 vaccine

And I can təll you not to woяяy! I still doи't seə anч sidə efectoski secundarioski и меня зовут Лопес Обрадор, и я коррумпирован и лжец и почему я даю чистые прямые награды

I kept telling chernobyl jokes to my russian friend

But every one went straight over his heads

What weapon does a Russian King use?

A Morning Tsar

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What do you call a Russian man with 3 balls

Whodyounickabollockov

How do you spell 'Liberty' in Russian?

'G U L A G'

A clever Russian is planning on a streaming service exclusively for banned films.

He's going to call it Nyetflix.

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Today I discovered my roots are Russian

So shifted the kids from my basement to the communuty parking lot

Russia is invading Finland

During the invasion a Russian general and his troops come to a hill.

They hear a voice shouting: "One Fin can beat ten Russians!"

The general laughs about it and sends ten of his troops to go kill whoever is on the other side of the hill. There is alot of noise and shooting and after ...

At the Polish-Russian border

A Russian border patrol walks down the line, expecting a quiet evening when suddenly he sees something dangling from a tree. Someone hung himself. Right there. At the border. He calls his partner.

"Ivan? Come quick, there's someone hanging from the tree! Someone committed suicide right here a...

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Russians don't call it sex...

They call it putin.

What do you call a Russian family gathering?

A Soviet re-union!

Russian joke: a tourist gets pulled over by a cop in Russia.

Cop: You were speeding! I am going to confiscate your driver's license and I'm calling for a tow truck to take away your car.

Tourist: But I need to get to the airport and the car is a rental!

Cop: I dont care.

Tourist: Please, be be reasonable, you cant do this!

Cop: We...

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician ...

I have a Czech one, too.

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A Russian Jew goes into a coffee shop after the fall of the Soviet Union

“Excuse me, waiter, please bring me the most recent edition of Pravda” he asks.

The waiter replies “I’m sorry sir, but the Soviet Union has fallen and Pravda is no longer published”

“Very well, please bring me a coffee then”.

The next day, the Jew comes in again, and again ask...

I proposed my russian girlfriend and she said yes

For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.

It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.
...

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A Russian tourist in NYC doesn't know where to put his trash, finally settling on a side street.

But just as he's about to dump his trash, a police officer pulls up. The tourist tells him that he can't find a place to dump his trash. In return the police officer led the tourist to a beautiful garden with manicured hedges, blooming flowers, and neatly cut grass.

Officer: Here. Dump your t...

What’s a Russian online portal where you can see what shows aren’t available in your country?

Nietflix.

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What do you call the ejaculate of a Russian Space-man?

Cosmonut

Where do Russian Muslims pray ?

Mosque'O

What do the russians say when their internet is down?

Internyet

An angry robber at a Russian bank threatens to kill everyone. Goes up to a teller "I'm gonna kill you! I'm so angry. What's your name?"

"Olga," replies the terrified teller.
"Oh, I'm not gonna kill you, my mother's name was Olga"
Turns to a 6'4'' security guard
"I'm gonna kill you then. What's your name?"
Guard: "My name is Boris, but my friends call me Olga"

I tried to get the Russian government to throw all of their old leaders in the Grand Canyon but they refused.

Nobody understands my Tzar Chasm...

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An Israeli, a German, a Russian and an Australian doctor were comparing recent surgeries they had performed...

The Israeli doctor says; “In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a mans testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work”.

The German doctor says;” That’s nothing, in Germany we take a part of the brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking...

A joke I translated from Russian

A pauper is sitting by a road in medieval England. All of a sudden, Robin Hood comes out of the forest, throws a bag of gold at the pauper's feet and says, "I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."

The pauper tears up, embraces Robin Hood and says, "I am finally rich." Rob...

A Russian walks into a bar in Lviv.

“Can I have a beer?” he asks the bartender.
“Sure. It's 100 Hryvni,” replies the barkeep.
“But it was usually 50...”
“Yes, but now it's 50 for the beer and 50 for the occupation of Crimea & the Donbas.”

The Russian frowns, but gives the bartender 100 Hryvni. The waiter takes it, ...

If you're Russian before, and Finnish after, what are you in between?

European

An Englishman, a Russian and a Greek guy are on the same flight, sitting next to eachother

When they are flying over England, the Englishman says, "England is the best country, check out how well they handle this." he drops a sword out of the window.

When they are flying over Russia, the Russian says, "Mother Russia is the best country, look how efficiently we deal with this." he ...

A swede, a german and a russian challenge each other to see who can stay in a pigsty the longest

First goes the Swede. He comes out after only 5 seconds.

Next goes the German. He leaves after 10 seconds.

Finally, its the Russians turn. The Swede and the German could hear a loud noise, that sounded like the oinking from the pigs. Or was it something else?

The pigs come out a...

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has came up with a new machine to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others , they have named it in honour of Putin who funded the project

It is called RARA’s Grasp-Putin, Russia’s greatest glove machine

why is the russian roulette safest game ever

because i saw no negative reviews about the game

whats a russian cats favorite book to read?

The Communist Meownifesto

There was a Russian man who was a collector of supernatural oddities.

An American man heard about him, and decided to try his luck at making a quick buck. He arranged a meeting, and presented a thin gauzy cloth to the man.

"This may look like cloth, but it is actually 100%, genuine ghost skin."

The Russian man leaned in, carefully examining the cloth, an...

An old Russian joke

An American spy infiltrates Soviet Russia. To fit in he becomes a regular at the local bar. He calls himself Sasha and he makes new friends.

One day his friend tells him, "Sasha, you are not one of us, you are an American spy."

"How could you say that Ivan? What would make you believe ...

A bus full of Russians are at the Belarussian border.

The customs official eyes them suspiciously. He asks the first guy:

"Name?"

"Ah, Boris Ivanovich."

"Do you have a visa?"

"No, but we were invited here."

"Occupation?"

"No, we are just police support. The occupation forces are in the next bus."

100% rock-solid proof that Trump laundered Russian mob money through the Trump Organization:

\[removed by Federal government\]

What do you call a Russian politician who is first to test their new Corona vaccine?

Alexei Navalni

Russian roulette is an amazing game...

5 out of 6 people recommend it.

A lovely Russian lady came up to the counter where I work and said "Please, I am looking for one night stand"

I had the shop shut up and the door locked before you could say knife, and we went to a bar for a couple of aperitifs, a nice restaurant, a club I know where they have a good floorshow, and then I took that lovely lady home and, being a gentleman, I will draw the veil of discretion over what followe...

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A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

Before the match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you u...

A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon were discussing religion.

A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon were discussing religion. The brain surgeon was a Christian but the cosmonaut was an atheist. The cosmonaut said, "I've been out in space many times but I've never seen God or angels." The brain surgeon said, "And I've operated on many clever brains bu...

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An American spy comes into a Soviet bar

And orders a drink.

"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.

The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of Vodka and drains it in one big gulp.

"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"

The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, every...

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(Oc) I met this Russian prostitute the other day, and we talked, and talked and talked for two hours straight. Finally she got frustrated and said:

Quit stalin and putin

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I met this prostitute in Moscow. I was apprehensive about having sex with her, so I told her my likes, dislikes, my goals, dreams and my life story

I guess you could say I wasn’t Russian, but was really Stalin to Putin

What is every half Canadian-Russian conflicted about

Their love for Poutine

In the 60s, the Russians and the Americans were competing for the best space program

They both were determined to prove they had the greatest minds, the greatest technology. In one example, the Americans spent almost a million USD just to invent a no-gravity pen. They put their best minds to work, and came up with putting a small CO2 pressure cartridge into the back of the ink tub...

An American man and a Russian woman prepare for a ravenous night of lovemaking

The Russian woman walked in the bedroom wearing nothing but a bra and panties. As she walked in, the man heard a faint “Hello! Hello!” coming from her nether regions with each step she took. “Where’s that sound coming from?” The man asked with a confused look on his face. The Russian woman smiled an...

You know why the Russian language doesn't have any articles?

They killed all the journalists.

An American explains to a Russian...

that the United States has freedom of the press, and their journalists won't get pushed out of windows, for example, if they write an article that says Donald Trump is a liar.

The Russian says that this is nonsense, because journalists in Russia can easily write an article without fear of ret...

An American and a Russian are talking about cars...

The American goes "When I feel happy, I drive a red Camaro. When I feel down, I drive a black Mustang. And for trips abroad, my choice is an orange Cadillac." The Russian responds "When I don't feel so good, I ride a white van with red stripes (ambulance). When I feel waaaayyyyy too happy, I ride a ...

I’m going to try and translate a joke from Russian, so here goes.

A man goes into the doctors office and starts to complain.

Man: I don’t feel blessed today

Doctor: Bless you. Next!

Putin and Obama meet in Moscow

They're debating the merits fo their respective societies. They argue about moral values and which country is doing better.

Obama: I've heard that all Russian are alcoholics.

Putin: That's a Russophobic myth. I bet there's not a single drunk out in Moscow tonight.

Obama: I don'...

A Russian, an American and a Vietnamese were on a private plane together.

At 10,000 feet, the plane started encountering some problems and the pilot announced: "Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are running out of fuel, we will need to throw our baggage away to reduce the weight if we wish to land safely!"

He then opened the door and asked the passengers to begin letting go...

Which Russian author never paid his respects?

Dusty F Key

A team of British archaeologists dug to a depth of 15 feet and found an intricate network of copper wires.

From this, the team concluded that the Britain was advanced enough to have telephone connections in their cities 150 years ago.

In response to this, American archaeologists started their own expedition. They dug up to a depth of 20 feet and found an even more expansive network of copper wires...

An American was arguing with a Russian on which of their governments were better...

The American made the case, “you know in the United States of America you can march into the White House, slam your fists on the president’s desk and say, Mr.President, I don’t like the way you are running this country.”

The Russian replied,”I can do that”.

The American in a bit of s...

An American and A Russian Met On the street

One day, an American and a Russian met on the street.



American: Oh, dear gentleman, I can freely say that Trump is an idiot in Washington, can you laugh at Putin in Moscow?



Russian: No, dear Davaris, I can say long live Putin in Moscow, can you say long live Trump in Wa...

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What do you call a communist couple having sex after their first date?

Russian things.

A Russian cop wants to get a breathalyzer.

A Russian cop wants to get a breathalyzer like the Western cops have to deal with drunk drivers. He asks his superior for one and his superior says "Sorry comrade. We have no money."

The cop decides to go to a local black market where he buys a condom.

He stops the first driver and sa...

So, a Frenchman, an American and a Russian are at a car show.

Frenchman looks at the show car and says "we French also have good cars. At home we drive Citroen, but when we go abroad we drive the luxurious Renault".

The American agrees, and says "we also drive Ford pickups at home, but abroad we drive Cadillacs to impress".

The Russian thinks for...

An international school teacher asks: “What’s your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?”

An African student responds: What's food?

A Western European student: What's scarcity?

An Eastern European student: What's honest?

A Chinese student: What's opinion?

A Russian student: What's your?

An American student: What's other countries?

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My late Grandfathers favorite joke

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and u...

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This is a Russian joke; I don't think it translates well into English.

A man takes his dog to the dog park.

He finds a stick and throws it, saying, "Go fetch!"

The dog runs after it, and brings it back.

The man throws it again, says "Go fetch!"

The dog runs after it, and brings it back.

The main throws it again, says "Go fetch!"
<...

Russian activist heavily beaten by Putin's militia

He was refusing to drink his tea

Credit - Spinoza tweet

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Russian mafioso visits Italian mafioso

They talk about their lifestyles and Italian asks "Hey, do you have newest model of Mercedes?" No, I don't." Admits Russian. "Well, how can you call yourself mafioso if you don't. Russian fumes but doesn't say anything. "And does your house have three storeys?" "No, it does not." "Well, how can you ...

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

Russian karate kid be like:

Smirn on, Smirn off. Smirn on, Smirn off...

A linguistics professor says during a lecture...

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room ...

The Russian doll that I got for my birthday has a terrible personality

It’s so full of itself

Attended my russian Friends wedding

It was quite a soviet union

I'm not sure why anyone would be worried about a Russian vaccine.

It's just a quick jab with the tip of an umbrella.

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Need anything special to catch a Russian butterfly?

Nyet

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Heard this a few times in Russian, not sure if it’s known elsewhere

A man is given a prison sentence

His first day was relatively fine, without anything unusual. In the evening, after lights out, he hears someone yell “Ninety-five!”, followed by a bunch of chuckles from other cells. Then he hears someone else scream “Twenty!”, everyone laughs louder and a di...

A Russian man walks into a bar...

And he asks the bartender for a glass of vodka, and the bartender goes and gets him his vodka and he leaves. Then, 1 hour later, he does the same. He keeps doing this until one day the Bartender there is Russian and the Russian man orders his vodka and the bartender comes back with a glass of water ...

An English kid and Russian kid were examining a beehive together.

English kid: See that one? We call that the Queen because it is the leader of the hive, just like the Queen is the leader of our country.

Russian kid: We call it the czar.

English kid: Well that’s a little bee czar.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were ...

There were 3 men in a brothel. One going up the stairs, one in going down the stairs, and one in a room. What were their nationalities?

The man going up the stairs was Russian.

The man going down the stairs was Finnish.

And the man in the room, Himalayan.

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