This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

King Hamlet wanted an estimate of sluts to non-sluts in Denmark.

So he called his friend Horatio.

Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?

Rigor Mortissen

Denmark is a country of underachievers

Just look it up, all the great danes are dogs

How do you call the best veterinary hospital in Denmark?

Great Dane pets hospital.

Why don't chefs in Denmark play pranks in the kitchen?

Because no one thinks a Dane cook joke is funny.

Why do bakeries in Denmark add so much sugar to their pastries?

If they didn't, they would be sweetish.

Olympic Sailing results are in!

Denmark have taken gold

Finland have taken silver

Somalia have taken a middle aged couple who were on a worldwide cruise

What do you call weed from Denmark?

Dansk kush.

I was amazed to find out that Europeans use whiteboards the same way as Americans...

They just pick up the marker, Denmark on it.

What country is known for cave paintings?

Denmark

Punchline not included.

Timmy : I'm Hungary.

Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck !

Mum : There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy : I know, I gu...

The hare and the tortoise

The hare and the tortoise were having a rematch. This time, they decided to race through Europe, starting with London. The plan was to race to Dover, get the ferry across, and go along the French coast, across Belgium, Germany, and head north through Denmark.

The hare figured that his fur wo...

Why do Icelandic ships have barcodes?

The striking dock workers complained there is Norway they can go to a ship with a clipboard, Denmark it as arrived and Finnish the whole business before sunset. New tech helped Sweden the deal.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.

Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you hav...

This is naut, ok?

If America has 'astronauts' and Russia has 'cosmonauts', does Denmark have 'deeznauts'?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

Bridge to England

A man who goes around a harbor in Denmark, looking longingly towards England, as he has always dreamed of visiting. The problem is that he suffers from a severe fear of flying and being utterly seasick just at the sight of a ferry. So it is a little difficult to get he dream of England fulfilled....