This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to collect all the information from the client what he wants done
1 to fill a flipchart with nonsensical bullshit
1 to whip the interns to actually collect the data required (i.e. someone has to pretend to work)
1 to write a report about it
12 to bill the work of the 18 people ...

Why do skeletons make good consultants?

They’ve got no skin in the game, no guts and no balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Received a call from a recruiting consultant

She said " Sir, I have two openings for you"
I replied "Yes, I know"

There was a long silence and then she shouted "Asshole!"
I said i prefer the other one.

The Consultant

A timeless lesson on how Consultants can make a difference.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he als...

Where did all the Cyber security consultants go for the last few days?

They ransomware.

How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one.


He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Restaurant got Business Consultation

A client ordered a soup in a restaurant but he didn't get his spoon so he calls the waiter over. The waiter just grabs in his breast pocket and pulls out a spoon and hands it to the customer. The customer is pleasantly surprised and goes "that sure went quick, you guys always carry an extra spoon ar...

Toyota and Ford decided to do a rowing competition

They both got their best teams together and had them compete. The result was a disaster for Ford. The Toyota rowing team beat them by leagues.

Ford had a crisis meeting, hired the best analysts and consultants, and after half a year they came up with a conclusion: The Toyota rowing boat had ...

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