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A hospital administrator, an inspector and a few other important people were touring the local hospital to see how it rated compared with others in the state.

So far they'd been very impressed with the hospital, especially the bedside manner of the staff.

They approached a patient's room, and the curious inspector looked inside. He found a patient jacking off on the bed.

"What the hell is this?" she yelled.

The doctor had a very st...

A Journalist is being given a tour of a hospital by the Hospital administrator

They take the elevator to the 3rd floor, which is devoted entirely to eating disorder patients.

The Journalist notices a wedding gown and tuxedo hanging in one room.

"What is the deal with those?" the journalist asks

"Oh" says the administrator "Those are for very dire cases"...

I got a job as the senior administrator of the old McDonald farm

I’m the CIEIO

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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"



Dad says, "Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny we'll cons...

To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own:

We're rooting for you!

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The administrator of a hospital is getting a tour of the new wing.

They walk into a room and see a man masturbating furiously.

"What's the meaning of this!?" thunders the administrator.

The head nurse explains "This man has a serious prostate condition, sir. it is very important that he ejaculates 6 times a day."

"Oh - so sorry, excuse us!" sa...

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Park Ranger

A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla
became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination,
the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there...

What do you call an Egyptian test administrator who heals back pain?

A Cairo-Proctor!

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RETIREMENT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE --

One day while going to the store I passed by a nursing home.

On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass!

Of course I thought this was a bit unusual, but I continued on my way to the store.

On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six ol...

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I really like this group...

But does anyone else find it weird that we have to send weekly nudes to the administrators?

Trump should appoint Sarah Palin as the Administrator of NASA.

I know, I know, I could've stopped it there, but here's the punchline:

I mean, we must be fair and give her some consideration, because she does make a good argument: she can see the moon from her house.

Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator.

Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.

One day I received a call from a youn...

I tried to offer my school administrator a bribe

But he was too principled

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a district administrator was offered a large bribe to fire some of the heads of his local schools

but he stuck by his principals

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The auditor goes to the synagogue

The auditor is on a fining spree; he went through his list and every business in town got fined for irregularities. He checks is list

done

done

done

not yet done

"What's that?" he thinks. He reads: synagogue. "I'll go there NOW"

The rabbi and all the adminis...

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken!!

Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!

a lady visits her husband in a prison

A lady visits her husband in a prison. After talking to him she talks to a prison administrator:
"Shouldn't my husband be treated better? All this hard work he has to do!"
"What hard work?" asks the administrator "he's a librarian here."
"Well," replies the lady, "he was telling me so...

A church puts an ad in the newspaper for a person to ring the bell in the belfry on Sunday mornings.

No one applies for the position except for a young man with no arms.

The church administrator isn’t sure he can handle the job, but the man climbs the tower and rings the bell using just his head. On his first Sunday on the job, the man gets a little too excited and hits the bell a little to...

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These two guys , Scott and Steve die in a horrible plane crash

As they approach the pearly gates they come upon an able bodied administrator who goes by the name of Peter. This saintly individual welcomes them and says, we are a bit backed up today so we can offer you a visit with some of your fallen comrades while you wait if this pleases you. They quickly ...

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At the beginning of time two schools were created.

One was Matter High, the other Antimatter High. Each was tasked with creating the fundamental laws that would define the growth and existence of the universe.

Students at Matter High developed Gravitation, Strong Attraction, Weak Attraction, and Electromagnetism.

Students at Antimatt...

So I Submitted an Article to the School Newspaper

The article was written on the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. The article ended up being brought to the attention of the administrators. After about a month, the administration closed down the school due to "chemical risks." When the school reopened, it was disconnected from all water lines.

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