Electronic Arts should release physical analog day planners.

DLC for Months.
.
Literally.

A dying wish

A man spoke to each of his three sons when he sent them to college. "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a gesture of appreciation, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I ...

My stoned friend used my daily planner to roll a joint.

Now he’s high on my list of priorities.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

City Planner: this intersection design would result in multiple, severe collisions every day

**Hot Wheels Creator:** dope, right?

**City Planner:** *[nodding]* super fuckin dope

Amongst the dumbest things I've ever purchased...

was a 2020 year planner.

Most useless purchase of 2019.....

A 2020 planner.

The funeral planner died.

They weren't quite sure what to do with him.

I decided to do some target practice. But instead of my target sheets, I accidentally used my business planner!

Now my whole week is shot.

In my line of work, I manage to upset people on both sides of the aisle.

So yeah, I might not be the best wedding planner.

My wife recently starting a new career as a party planner.

At first I wasn’t too sure about it, since it means a lot of late nights and working at weekends.
Thee are some upsides, though. Last night she got home from some event that I guess involved one of those giant cakes that a model suddenly jumps out of as a surprise. She somehow got covered in i...

What is a wedding planner's favourite melon?

Cantaloupe

A lot of conflict in the Wild West....

....could have been avoided completely if cowboy city planners had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

What does an event planner say to pick a girl up?

"You are in my To-Do list"

What is the biggest waste of money?

A 2020 planner

Why did the road cross the road?

Because civil engineers & urban planners don't like roundabouts!

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. Y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear is walking in the woods...

And he saw a big cave. Hoping there was food, he walked in and after a few steps a Giant grabs him and yells:
-Why are you in my cave?
-I taught there was food?
-There is no food, why are you here? Do you want me to fuck you or to kill you?
-No, I just...
-Fuck you or kill you?
-Ok...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Accordion and Tuba Duo

A party planner has organized a huge new year's eve party. At the last minute, the band he hired has to pull out because of death in the family. The planner is totally stressed out because he has 500 partiers and no band.

On December 30 he contacts the only local band that was avaliable, a ...

3 Engineers are discussing what type of engineer God is...

Engineer #1

Obviously a Structural Engineer,like me. Look at the skeleton! Its art!

Engineer #2

Obviously a Electrical Engineer, like me. Look at the Nervous System! Genius!

Engineer #3

He's not a City Planner, like me... You Never put a waste treatment center...

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