UPJOKE
commercemarketplacemercantilismcommercialismgrocerytradegrocery storemartblack marketcommercializeproductbusinessindustryretailcommodity

Marketing Explained...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed". That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed". That's Advertising.

You'r...

Marketing 101

A professor explained about marketing to MBA students.
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party, you go to her and say I am rich, marry me. That's direct marketing.
2. You attend a party and your friend goes to the girl to tell her, he's rich, marry him. That's advertising.
3. The same g...

Why is a pirate a marketing-employee?

Because he works'n'sails

Marketing

P.S. - I have much love and appreciation for my marketing friends. We all work together in this <3.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My marketing guru said to put myself in my customers' shoes.

My customer said what the fuck are you doing to my shoes.

My wife said we could each have 3 hall passes. She picked Henry Cavil, Jason Momoa, and Matt Damon; but then she got mad at me for my picks...

Apparently her sister, our kids kindergarten teacher and and Kelsey in the marketing department were the wrong answers.

Marketing terms explained

1. You see a beautiful girl at a party. You walk right over to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
\--That's direct marketing.


2. You're at a party with friends and see a beautiful girl. One friend goes over to her, points at you, and says, "He's fantastic in bed."
\--That...

What would you call a hair product that was marketing batman?

Conditioner Gordon.

Marvel just did the most risky marketing move of all time.

Announcing “Avengers: Secret Wars” to the public kind of defeats the purpose.

A casket company has started marketing clear glass coffins.

Don't know if they will be well received...remains to be seen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The marketing lesson

This really happened, at least by what I've heard. A guy went to the market and saw a stand selling watermelons with a cardboard reading: "1 melon - 3$, 3 melon - 10$".

He decided to teach the seller a math lesson and bought a melon for 3$. Then he said "you know what, I would like one more" ...

The biggest marketing budget ever.

The Last of Us II.

Did you hear about Coronas new marketing campaign?

Apparently it's gone viral in China.

Marketing at it's best

A CEO for the *Helix* nail-gun company decides to seek for a new add campaign for their new product. He struts in to a marketing company and tells the AD to "make it awesome".

The art director nods to a designer who then proceeds to start drawing. An hour passes and the concept is ready. He h...

I feel sorry for Corona beer's marketing campaign

Nothing can go viral.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1985 Viagra began marketing it's own soda beverage

They called it Mount and Do.

Further more in 1986 the FDA decided it could no longer be called a *soft* drink.
Instead they labeled it a cock tail.

The marketing team for the Veggie Food Company are having a brand meeting

"So the food techs have given us this amazing veggie bacon, what are we going to call it?" says the boss.
After hours of brainstorming and arguments, Sammy the intern says, "what about Facon?"
Everyone loves it and the boss promises him a bonus and a promotion.
"That's great, well done Samm...

This is how marketing works.

I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!" I said, "£100 and it's yours."

"Bro, do you want this marketing pamphlet?"

"...brochure."

Who knew naming a for-profit investment app after an anti-rich hero was just marketing.

I’m astounded, and am immediately switching to one called Mother Theresa.

The marketing guys at Corona don‘t know what to do next

Now that their campaign went viral

A marketing team had to make a Coca-Cola ad for Arabia

So they sent their best man on the job. When he came back, they saw that the campaign failed miserably and nobody was buying the product. So the team asked him what happened. He explained:

We made a billboard with three images. On the first one, there is a person that is very unhealthy and a...

I tried to help my friend, but he ended up addicted to marketing.

Guess you could say I gave him some ad-vice.

I'm starting up a local coffee shop and marketing it as an Ashley Madison meetup spot.

I'm calling it Grounds for Divorce.

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar...

isis is marketing their version of kitkat

they're calling it allahu snackbar

Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans

Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.

They're marketing headphones specifically for gorillas now

Rumor has it they'll be called Harambeats.

I'm so sorry.

A marketing executive walks into a bar

I guess it was set too low.

Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals

They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry.

It's All About Marketing...;)

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Little Johhny, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!"

She yells, "Whose Little Johhny?"

A kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Little Johhny."

"Well, Johhny, your s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man, named Jeff, recently joined a marketing company

And he was doing kind of well. His ads were always slightly overperforming in contrast to many others who had "hit or miss" situations, but his good work were completely by John Avoh, who knocked it out of the park constantly, receiving praise, companies asking for him personally and so on and so fo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are Gametes good at marketing?

Sex cells!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

“Happy anniversary Mom and Dad,” gushed son number one, a surgeon, “Sorry I'm late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift.”

“Not to worry,” said the father, “the important thing is that we're all together today.”

...

Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community.

Their new mints are bi-curiously strong.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.