An engineer had a sign in front of his clinic that said, "Medical consultation for only $50. If I can't make you better, I will pay you $100."

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After a consultation, the doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration.

You see, your testicles seem to be pressing on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache.

I can relieve the pressure by removing the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to l...

Erectile Dysfunction

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for a consultation with an traditional healer, who was well known to have a very good naturopathic cure for erectile dysfunction!

As he despised western medicine, believing the conspiracy theo...

Meeting with the eye surgeon is such a scam, I paid over $500 just for the consultation!

And I still don't know who I'm seeing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nurse is standing in a consultation room with a patient

The patient says"this is a little embarrassing so please don't laugh"

The nurse "I've been a nurse for 12 years nothing you show me is going to make me laugh"

The man drops his trousers revealing a penis the size and girth of a triple A battery.

The nurse stifles her giggle but ...

Man: Hey! How much is your consultation fee? Lawyer : $100- for 3 questions.

Man: That's pretty expensive isn't it?

Lawyer : Yes, now what is your third question.

The wise spice trader was known for his sage advice

He was less sought after for his oregano guidance, his thyme tips, and his rosemary consultations.

Hey Doc, the invisible Man is here for a consultation.

Tell him I can't see him right now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation.After much debate and research they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the pop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Restaurant got Business Consultation

A client ordered a soup in a restaurant but he didn't get his spoon so he calls the waiter over. The waiter just grabs in his breast pocket and pulls out a spoon and hands it to the customer. The customer is pleasantly surprised and goes "that sure went quick, you guys always carry an extra spoon ar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gynecologist asks his colleague for a consultation.

A doctor is doing some paperwork when a colleague enters his office.

"You have to see this. I have a patient whose clitoris is like a watermelon!"

They both go to the examination room, where a woman is in the stirrups with a cloth covering her private parts. The doctor raises the clo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor's Consultation

A patient returns to the doctors office for a consultation regarding his x-rays and biopsies.
The Doctor says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?"
The patient says, "Give me the bad news first."
The doctor says, "You've got terminal cancer and have at m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Big Bang Theory

# Some Background Info

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" was created by Chuck Lorre. At the end of each episode he inserted a one screen humorous comment.

While season 4 was being produced, the lead actress had a horseback riding accident unrelated to the show which caused her a broke...

An old woman goes to the doctor...

... and gets into the consultation, slowly walking until she reaches the doctor's desk. She sits down and begins to explain her problem to the doctor.

\-I have a terrible problem with my gas. I fart hundreds of times at the end of the day and since I have entered the room I have fart about 30...

A lawyer’s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.

The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks: “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?”

The lawyer answers: “Absolutely.”

“Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast fro...

Hello, God?

In an effort to combat religious bigotry, the leaders of the world's largest religions decided to show solidarity by organizing a world tour, where they would all visit each other in their respective seats of power.

The first stop on the tour was the Vatican where the Pope welcomed the group ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Expidition of two scientists

Two scientists start an expedition to explore a deserted island.

On the second day of their expidition, they ran into a group of indigenous, the natives bound the two scientists and bring them to their village. The chief of the tribal approaches and says „**DEATH or BUMM BUMM?**“. The two sc...

A rich man on his deathbead...

calls his three lawyers in for a final consultation.

"They say you can't take it with you, but I'm going to prove them wrong! I'm giving you each a third of my money. At my funeral, I want you to throw it in my grave so that it's buried with me."

After the funeral, the lawyers are ...

A dog ran into a butcher shop.

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.

The butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor, who happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed by the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "If your

dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.