The 22+ Best Accountant Jokes

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The Biker and the Accountant

A large muscly rough looking biker riding the biggest baddest motorcycle you've ever seen chases a small nerdy accountant on a Moped across a lonely highway. He easily catches him and runs him off the road. In desperation, stumbling and crawling to get away, the accountant grabs a discarded glass ...

What's the difference between a good Accountant and a great Accountant?

A good Accountant knows 2+2=4, a great Accountant asks "what do you want it to be?"

What birds make the best accountants?

Flamingos. They're real good at balancing.

A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job

A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job. He asks them, “What is 2 + 2?”

The mathematician answers, “Exactly 4.”

The accountant replies, “Depending on what your interest, depreciation, and taxes are, approximately 2.”

The economist wa...

Whadda ya get when you cross an accountant with a giant jet airplane?

A boring 747.

Did you hear about the accountant from Pyongyang who moved to Seoul to be a carpenter?

He fancied a Korea change

Indian motorcycles hired an outside accountant to figure out their declining revenue. the board of directors required all C-level executives to attend the reporting. He found that the executives were overpaid limiting production.

In summary: too many Chiefs not enough Indians.

Accountant Joke

The CEO of a large corporation called his directors for a meeting. He asked the director of development, "Mr. Jones, what is two plus two?"

Mr. Jones, looking a bit confused, replied, "Two plus two is four, Sir."

The CEO said, "Ya, that\`s what I thought you would say." Then he asked...

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Surgeon Talk

Five surgeons were talking about the best patients...

The first surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered."

The second surgeon says, "Nah - librarians are the best. Everything inside them is...

I got my first job as an accountant at 22, right out of college. Suddenly, the week after I turned 30, they fired me.

13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.

I keep hearing my accountant's disembodied voice wanting to check the last 5 years of my tax returns.

I think I'm having auditory hallucinations.

What does a great accountant do?

He Excels

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What does two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says...

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Little Johnnie Strikes Again

A new grade school teacher was trying to get acquainted with her class, by asking them what their parents did. She started with Billy, who said that his mother was a doctor.

"Very good, Billy," the teacher said. "Mary, I believe you're next."

Mary stood and said, "My daddy's a lawyer...

What's the difference between an Accountant and a Proctologist?

One stares at spreadsheets and the other stares at spread cheeks.

An Accountant's secret to success.

An accountant in a big firm had a very strange habit. Every morning he used to open his drawer, look at a paper, place the paper back in the drawer and then lock it again.

The trainees were very curious and often wondered if his success was hidden on that piece of paper.

So one day, w...

2 plus 2

A business man asks his doctor what 2 plus 2 is and is told 4. He then asks his lawyer what 2 plus 2 is and gets the same answer 4. Finally he asks his accountant what 2 plus 2 is. The accountant replies 'what do you want it to be',

Detective 1: I think the accountant did it. I found a calculator at the crime scen

Detective 2: that adds up

Why did the cat have to go to an accountant?

They got caught up in a purramid scheme.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn’t budget so he had to work it out with a pencil.

I wouldn't recommend going to the tattooist who used to be an accountant.

He did a number on me.

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Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do...

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