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Car Insurance Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my sex the way I like my car insurance

Paid for by my parents

Car insurance renewal

I renewed my car insurance on the phone yesterday.

I was just about to hang up when the lady on the phone asked- "Do you have any pets?"

I replied " Yes I have a dog"

She said "Would you like to insure him to?"

I replied "Not really, he cant drive "

I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching

To reverse and leaving the scene

Why don't women in Arabic countries need car insurance

because they are already covered

Elon Musk's Car Insurance

must have skyrocketed today

Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance?

Nether. They’re immigrants in America.

Why did Elon Musk go broke?

Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.

Why is Trump's car insurance so cheap?

NO COLLISION.

Why is car insurance higher for lap dancers?

They run a higher risk of being rear-ended.

What car insurance do Canadians have?

Triple 'eh'

Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?

Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?

Because women don't get blow jobs while they are
driving.

Couldn't fall asleep so I started counting sheep ...

Couldn't fall asleep, so I started counting sheep and everything was great as I was drifting off to dreamland THEN one of the sheep said "Hey pal - I think you forgot to make your car insurance payment 7 days ago!" - and I sat up ... wide awake and said "Ewe have got to be kidding me!"

My friend has mexican car insurance.

It's called get out and run.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy is stopped by the policeman

"Sir, you were speeding I will need to give you a ticket. Do you have an ID, driving license and car insurance?"

"This isn't my car. But I think I saw insurance card in the glove box when I put there my gun. I can check."

"Sir are you armed?"

"Yes, as I told you, my gun is in th...

So, my mom and dad cheated on each other with their respective brother and sisters-in-law.......

Now, that I have your attention, I would like to reach you about your pending car insurance loan........

The CEO at Euro A Bank Ltd got economists thinking when he said:

"A cyclist is a disaster for a country's economy. He does not buy a car and does not take out a car loan. Does not buy car insurance. Does not buy fuel. Does not send his car for servicing and repairs. Does not use paid parking. Does not become obese.
Yes - and he stays well, damn it !! Healthy p...

I hit the gym today...

But I drove away because I don't have car insurance.

Ruff Policy

My dog, Case, swallowed my proof of car insurance. It's really no big deal though. My insurance is just in Case.

How do you become rich in Asian countries?

Open a car insurance company

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