The Canadian Government is considering forcing all large businesses to provide their employees with tampons and pads free of charge.

Businesses say the costs will be tough to absorb....

My friend recently advised me to invest in marijuana businesses...

Apparently it's a growing industry.

Why are US businesses moving to Mexico?

They can’t afford to peso much here.

In Soviet Russia, the government own businesses. In Capitalist America, businesses own the government.

*Insert edgy quotes

I'm not buying anything from any of Trump's or his family's businesses

Not a political statement, I just don't have any money.

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Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

Why shouldn't you invest in muslim-owned businesses?

They never show a prophet.

Q: What do small businesses cry when account executives harass them for money?

A: Yelp!

How to become an honorary Alaskan Joke.

One day, a man was in a bar in Alaska, bragging about how much land he owned, how many businesses he manages, and how much he traveled. The bartender got annoyed and decided to shut the man up. "Want to become an honorary Alaskan?" he asked. "Sure," said the braggart, "what do I have to do?" "3 thin...

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A pimp is breaking in his new bitch.

Pimp: Listen. If you wanna be my woman, your gonna have to make me some money.

Hoe: But I've never done anything like this before.

Pimp: Don't worry. You go and put on your sexiest dress and stand under that lamppost. I'll be back here. Any problems. Just come back and tell me, and and...

My sister and I decided that we want to start our own businesses.

She's going to open a furniture store called 'Sofa King' and I'm going to open a soup restaurant next door called 'Stew Pit'.

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Here’s how you get the perfect prom date.

So you have the girl picked out, maybe not the prettiest to all, but in your eyes, wow. Now maybe not the hardest to get, but she still gives you butterflies talking to her.

Now you can’t simply walk up to her and ask, you gotta be smooth about it. After some thought you decide on flowers an...

No one knows more about shutdowns than Trump

Just look at all of his failed businesses

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In the seedy corners of the pokeverse,

In the seedy corners of the pokeverse, dirty establishments hide more 'greasy' businesses. a customer walks into one such place and resquests their finest lady.

A large breasts woman with a beautiful face takes them into a private room, and after they are done 'copulating' he lays back, a sat...

A professor teaches his students about Chinese history

Professor: Allright class, let me start off today with a fun fact. During early industrial times, a lot of British engineers went to China to start up new businesses there, because of their low taxation rates. Because of this huge increase in migration, the Chinese government invested in the proper ...

So, a bunch of church friars realize the church is losing money...

"we have to figure out a way to keep the doors open!"
So the friars think and think and finally come up with the idea to sell "Jesus flowers." And lo and behold, it's a huge success. People are buying Jesus flowers almost as quickly as the friars can grow them!

Unfortunately, it has the ad...

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[OC, long] There's a new MLM scheme going around getting housewives to bake cookies, cake, and bread.

"Independent Businesses Owners" buy frozen pastries and mixes from the company, bake them in a timeshare commercial kitchen space, and try to sell them at their office, church, kids' activities, public events, and through social media. The typical.

One of my coworkers, Amanda, recently invite...

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Let me tell you a story of a guy named Juan.

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

"You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education"...

Bill Gates and Michael Row were planning to start a company

Two friends, Bill Gates and Michael Row decided they were going to co-found a company together. It was Michael's idea and he happened to be very excited about it. So excited about the potential profit and fame that could come with this investment that the idea of it made him hard. Yes you heard it r...

No wonder we’re shutting down.

Trump did say he was going to run the government like one of his businesses.

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NSFW A wealthy businessman goes to Vegas and orders a prostitute.

Moments later, he hears a knock on his hotel door, he answers, and in walks the most beautiful prostitute he has ever seen.

"Hi Honey, my name is Amber and I am here to service you" she says. "My only stipulation is that I do not do anal. Now, what would you like me to do first?"

"Ho...

One day, some U.S. senators were discussing how best...

...to protect their constituents from predation by big businesses.

I started working at the large wildlife crematorium

And now I’m urning the big bucks.

**********

Disclaimer: was told this by a friend. Who isn’t on reddit. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemb...

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The Deaf Collector

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was do...

A young girl returns home from school one day.....

and informs her parents that she is pregnant.
Her father immediately demands that the father of the child comes to the house so he can give him "the beating of his life".

5mins later, a Ferrari pulls up outside, and out steps this guy dressed in an expensive suit, sunglasses etc (you get t...

Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

Two cows are grazing in the field. One cow says to the other, "Hey Dorris, you worried about this Mad-Cow Disease epidemic?" The other cow turns and says, "Why would I be? I'm a chic...

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My friend told me that no matter what, he'd never watch German porn...

When I asked why, he replied simply "All German businesses are family run."

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Mr. Tilley is running a Christian book store in a strip mall. [Long]

And business is good. The community has been growing, both in economy and spirit, with community centers and parks, factories and research laboratories. A true mecca of modern civilization. Mr. Tilley knows everyone in town, and everyone knows him. When anyone sees him, they smile, wave, and say "Bl...

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A monastery opens a flower shop [long]

Outside a large town, a monastery was running out of money. The monks conferred, and decided the best way to alleviate their financial woes would be to use their considerable gardening skills to sell flowers. They used what was left in the coffers to buy a small shop, and opened a store.
After ...

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[Long] A rich dad came up to his young, well-respected son.

Dad: Son, you really need money. You're well-respected, but not smart, and you're never going to get a job. I know you would never do anything to hurt a minority, and I'm going into retirement soon so I'll make a bet. I'll give you a million dollars if you call that girl a slut, and then call that ...

White pages

Had a conversation at work today. Got the yellowpages and was commenting on how much smaller the whitepages are nowadays than when I was a kid. My coworker proceeds to ask the difference between the white pages and the yellow pages in the book. I tell her the yellow pages businesses have to pay for ...

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A teenage girl informs her parents that she hasn't menstruated in two months

Her parents are shocked and furious. Her mother is crying, her father swears to kill the pig who did this to her. He bids her daughter to call that sonuvabitch at once. So the girl calls her boyfriend, they talk for a few minutes, then she hangs up.

After half an hour, an amazing Porsche stop...

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Grandpa's Birthday

It was coming up to Grandpa's 80th birthday and his grandchildren wanted to do something special for him.

On suggested a live band, but this was decided against because Grandpa's hearing wasn't great.

A few more ideas were tossed around and eventually they decided to get him a stripper...

"McDonald's sales soar thanks to all day breakfast"

In unrelated news toilet paper stocks have risen and plumber businesses have been unable to keep up with demands for work.

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'Economic Stimulus' payment

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal gover...

A group of wealthy gentlemen were sitting at a luncheon arguing over who made the most money...

Man #1 says "I am the wealthiest man here. I am a banker. Every month, I make a handsome profit in the interests on all my loans at once."

Man #2 says "Ah, but I own the operations of a massive oil production. I never even have to work and every quarter my profits triple because demand is so ...

The successful entrepreneur was constantly in demand for after-dinner speeches and could never find the time to prepare his own material.

His assistant always wrote the speech. It was at the annual conference that he was called upon to give encouragement to small businesses.
After the meal, the entrepreneur stood up to address the audience. "Ladies and gentleman. There are three main areas of tension in today's small businesses. T...

Yesterday was kinda boring, I pretty much just hung around in my underwear all day...

...got kicked out of quite a few businesses though.

So a frog walks into a bank...

So a frog walks into this bank to apply for a bank loan. He approaches the tell and notices her name tag says Patricia Whack. He walks up to her and says, "Miss Whack I'm here to apply for a bank loan. I need $30,000 to go on my dream vacation." Patty is a little thrown off by this unusual request a...

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My town has gone to shit

When I was a kid, the town I lived in was great. Business was booming, everyone was happy, and it was safe at all times of the day. The area outside of town was a little bit sketchy (especially at night), but it never made it in to our small town.

That was, until some changes in the local gov...

The Cathedral of San Giovanni

The City-State of San Giovanni is largely forgotten today. In 1571, however, it was a wonderful place to be for both the secular and the spiritual. The was no war for three centuries, the market benefited from its close proximity to the Old Salt Route, and the artist community was vibrant and influe...

Riding A Dead Horse

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however, often try other strategies. These include,

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridde...

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