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Saskatchewan Jokes

A Saskatchewan Farmer Retires

A 65 year old Saskatchewan farmer decides to retire and move to the Rocky Mountains after living his whole life on the prairies. A few months later a friend comes to visit.

"What do you think of the mountains?" his friend asks.

"They are okay, but they sure obscure the view."

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
...

Why did Saskatchewan get all the nuclear waste and Ontario is full of lawyers?

Saskatchewan got to pick first.

Americans In Canada

An American couple is driving through Canada and stops at a gas station to fuel up.

As the man goes into the station to pay, his wife calls out to him, “Ask them where we are!” So the husband walks in, pays, and asks, “By the way, where are we?”

To which the attendant answers, “Saska...

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two nurses

Two nurses were in the hospital talking about the new patient in room 302.


The first nurse said: "You'll never believe it about the guy in 302! I was giving him a sponge bath and I saw that he had the word 'Swan' tattooed on his penis! That's crazy!"
The second nurse said: "Tha...

Little Johnny's First Day Back to School...

On the first day of a new school year, the teacher asks the class "what did you all do during the summer?"

Little Johnny chimes in "I went to see my grandma in Saskatchewan."

Teacher says "Saskatchewan sounds like a nice place, can you spell Saskatchewan?"

To which Little Johnny...

American tourists in Canada

Two American tourists in Saskatchewan are arguing about the correct pronunciation of the town's name, so when they stop for a burger, the one asks the cashier, "Can you please tell us where we are, but say it slowly and clearly?"

The cashier says "B-u-r-g-e-r ... K-i-n-g"

A blonde wants to prove to people that she’s not just a dumb blonde.

So she asks her friend, "How could I show people I'm smart?"

Her friend says, "Well- you could start by learning all the provinces and their capitals."

The blonde spends the whole week learning them. It’s hard, but she knows it will be worth it when people see how smart she is.
...

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Be careful what you wish for

Two men are speeding through Saskatchewan when an RCMP officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the drivers window and taps on it with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and SMACK! The officer clubs him on the head! "This is Saskatchewan, boy! when you get pulled over here you ...

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A nurse goes to check on a patient..

She checks on her patient then quickly leaves the room. She goes to the nurses station to tell the other nurses what she has seen. Nurse says: "You'll never guess what I saw when I changed his bedpan. He has a tattoo on his penis that says 'Swan' ."

The other nurse goes in to check it out and...

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

So these two guys from Saskatoon decide to escape the cold weather in winter and take a vacation. They go to Australia.

Sitting in a bar down under, still wearing their touques and flannels they draw the attention of Aussies, so one gets up and approaches them.

"G'DAY mates, where you ...

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Bob and Doug are at the pub complaining about the harsh Canadian winter.

Bob finally says " Fuck it, let's get out here and fly somehere warm". So off they head to the airport looking for the first flight to anywhere that's sunny. As it happens there's a flight leaving straight away for Brisbane. Australia. They happily hop on looking forward to all that Aussie sunshin...

An American couple are driving across Canada

An American couple are driving across Canada and they get lost while exploring the prairies. They see a farmer on the side of the road, so the husband pulls over.

"I'll go ask him where the next town is," he says as he gets out.

He walks up to the farmer and asks,

"Hey there, c...

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Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather
in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan

After spending a great evening chatting the night away,
the next morning John's grandfather prepared
breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.


However, John noticed a film like substan...

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Following a shift change at the Hospital

a rather plain looking nurse was exchanging notes with her fellow nurse who is a very, very, pretty blonde with huge tits.
"That new patient in Ward 2, bed 11; when I gave him his sponge bath today, I noticed he had the word SWAN tattooed on his penis. Rather odd, don't you think?" said the rat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. The elder nuns insisted that only they would attend to him. The next evening there was a crash and a scream!! The sister ran out the door as fast as she could.

Sister Marry Cla...

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