A man is asked by his friends why he doesn't have a life insurance policy

"Because I want everybody to be really sad when I die!" He grins.

Tired of being constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary and arranges to have her killed.

Tired of being constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary and arranges to have her killed. A friend of a friend puts the husband in touch with a nefarious f...

Joe is hiring a hitman from a well respected mafioso to kill his business partner.

The man asks, "How do I know you won't just let him pay you twice as much, and then kill me?"
The mob boss leans back and says, "Well Joe, you can always get the insurance policy."

"Insurance policy?"

"Yeah. For five times the fee I absolutely guarantee that the other guy can no lon...

My wife is amazing

She just bought me a $500,000 life insurance policy and a free all-inclusive trip to the Dominican Republic!

A man decides he wants to put a hit out on his wife...

So he checks the dark web and finds a hit man who goes only by the name of Artie. The man and Artie meet up to discus the job, and Artie asks for payment upfront.

“Well,” says the man, “I put every bit of money I have into my wife’s life insurance policy, so I only have one dollar on me at t...

I've got the worlds greatest wife

For our anniversary, she got me a life insurance policy and a trip to China.

Old man goes to the pharmacist...

Pharmacist: Hey Bill, what's goin' on?

Bill: Oh, not much Frank, wife's birthday was a few weeks ago, didn't know what to get her, so I bought a 100,000 life insurance policy.

Pharmacist: Not very romantic, but practical I guess.

Bill: Yeah, she really liked the idea and securi...

The billionaire and the architect

Los Angeles has always been a place for these massive feats of human accomplishment. Case in point, in 1989, a local billionaire spent millions of his own money to create a unique building of fantastic architecture, one that would draw people in for thousands of miles. He hired a small time architec...

Spanish inn owner

A nice young man by the name of Pablo was a physician. As just a little side job he also ran an inn/motel. Sadly one night the entire place burnt to the ground, and Pablo had just taken out a large insurance policy. So after suspicion of insurance fraud and arsony Pablo is taken to court. In front o...

Cowboy insurance

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.


"Ever have an accident?"


"Nope, nary a one."


"None? You've never had any accidents."


"Nope. Ain't had one. Never." ...

I love my wife.

She just surprised me with a all-inclusive vacation to the Dominican Republic, and full access to the mini-bar! She even just got me a million dollar life insurance policy.

Hell Yeah!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last night, my husband and I were talking about what we wanted if we died.

He explained to me that he wanted to make sure that our three children were taken care of, as well as me. He went over the life insurance policy he’d gotten from work, and it was very generous. Being a huge social butterfly, he wanted a big funeral, with a fun after party and he wanted to be buried....

A 76-year old walked into an insurance office...

and asks to buy a life insurance policy. The salesman asks him how old he is, and he says that he's 76. The salesman replies that you can't buy a policy over the age of 75.

The old man replies "But my 99-year old father came here last week and bought a new policy"

The salesman replies ...

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