A clown presents the new covid regulations.

Everyone dies laughing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes into the US Postal Services to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."


"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "that will give you 5 extra points toward empl...

I took my dog to the water park,

Staff said it went against regulation, but...

This time they'd let it slide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which country has the loosest regulations on incest?

Oh shit this isn't Google

A freshly minted U.S Army lieutenant is assigned to a base in Afghanistan

A freshly minted U.S. Army lieutenant is assigned to a base in Afghanistan. He walks around the base and sees everything is regulation except there’s a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp.

The lieutenant asks one of the men who has been there awhile why there’s a camel. The soldier e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stop sign regulations.

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Japan have such strict BMI regulations?

They remember what the first fat man did to them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Robin Barron lets the Cat ouf of the Bag

The Robin Barron raises a motion to prohibiting the riff raff hunting worms.

Now the cat is out of the bag.

Hunger drives the Pigeonlatariate to call for state regulation of the bird feeder.

The Black Birdgeosisie pontificate on the mobs of raucous Gold Pinchers fouling up the w...

I'm a big fan of overpopulation regulation.

The police prefer to call it "murder".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was caught masturbating in the library over the small print of laws and local regulations....

.....I got off on a technicality

Court Ruling from the UK

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should’ve custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulation...

What do they call internet regulation in Russia?

Nyet-neutrality

A guy in Baghdad sinks the 8-ball in regulation...

A guy in Baghdad sinks the 8-ball in regulation. His friend says "nice win, play again?" He responds "Okay, but Iraq."

My wife says I'm obsessed with terms of regulation

To prove her wrong I went on a yoga holiday in Prague.
It was a series of Czechs and balances.

What do Giraffes and zoning regulations have in common?

They both don't exist in Texas.

A man is called in to his bosses office

The boss says, "I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?"

The man says, "What's the good news?"

The boss replies, "OSHA is naming a new safety regulation after you."

Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:



1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

Always check the name

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boris Johnson walks into a Bank

He needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?

BJ: Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Bor...

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar...

The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.

Condom use on an aircraft

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight.
They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the
same thing.
He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.
Rear toilet? He suggests.
Five minutes, she agrees and goes off.
He waits five mi...

What did the US say to the EU?

451 Unavailable

We recognize you are attempting to access this website from a country belonging to the European Economic Area (EEA) including the EU which enforces the general data protection regulation(GDPR) and therefore access cannot be granted at this time.

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North Korean, United States, and Irish Politician walk into a bar.

They all order a beer. Upon going to drink them they notice a fly is floating in each of their beers.

The North Korean politician, outraged, declares war and that he will destroy the bar for allowing this to happen.

The politician from the United States declares tighter sanctions and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Golden State Warriors flew to Jamaica to play an exhibition game against a local team.

The Warriors kept on losing the ball and missing easy shots. Kerr, the Warriors' coach was furious, but the players said that the balls were too small, and kept slipping out of their hands.



By the end of the half, they were down by 20 points, with Steph Curry, the Warriors' captain...

What happens if a European chameleon turns blue?

It's arrested for violating EU regulations

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An inspector goes in to an asylum...

He needs to make sure that all of the patients' rooms are up to code, following a new set of regulations.

When he enters the first room, the patient is shooting an imaginary basketball.

The inspector asks, "What are you doing?"

"When I get out of here, I'm going to be in the N...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James from Bulgaria lived trains.

James from Bulgaria loved trains since he was a boy. He particularly loved how fast they could go. As a child he enjoyed playing with model trains and even owned an old conductors hat that he wore everywhere.

When he grew up he worked very hard and eventually became a train driver. And he lo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NBC President Flies Into Rage After Network Fails to Produce Industry Minimum Ten Cop Shows‏

NEW YORK - During a staff meeting this week, NBC President of Entertainment Robert Greenblatt erupted into a profanity-laced tirade when he was informed that the network's new season of prime-time dramas and comedies failed to meet The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) requ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Choose heaven or hell

A man dies and goes to heaven where he meets St. Pete. St. Pete welcomes him and says that there is a new regulation now where a soul gets to choose if they want to go to heaven or hell. The soul must spend three days in hell and three days in heaven and after that he chooses where to go.

The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw someone post this on Facebook. Got a kick out of it.

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity
generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water
utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-re...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.