A blonde was walking down the street with headphones in

A friend of hers stops her, and tries to talk to her

The blonde just stares at them, keeping the headphones in her ears, so the friend removes them for her and the blonde stops breathing

The friend quickly puts the earbuds back in and she starts breathing again

The friend tries ...

I comforted my depressed friend.

I said, “Sometimes, you just got to stop and breathe in the air.”

He said, “Yeah, like all the time.”

What do you think Abraham Lincoln would say if he was alive today?

“Help! Let me out of this box! I can’t breathe in here!”

One day a blonde went to the hairdresser...

The blonde ordered a trim but insisted that she absolutely could not take off the headphones she was wearing. The hairdresser declined and kicked her out of his barber shop.The blonde kept repeating the same request at different hairdresser’s until one finally agreed. As she was getting her trim the...

A blonde walks into a hairdressers

She asks the hairdresser for a trim. The hair dresser asks her to take a seat but tells the blonde she needs to remove her headphones.

Blondie insists she can't remove them and the lady will have to do the best job she can.

After a while the hairdresser gets frustrated and says, "sorry...

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Haji comes to the United states

Haji comes to the United States from India, and he's only here a few months when he becomes very ill. He goes to doctor after doctor, but none of them can help him. Finally, he goes to an Indian doctor.

The doctor says, "Take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de ...

In a far away place... In a small rural town...

There was a boy named john. John didn’t have many friends growing up as he preferred to keep to himself. Johns family were farmers through and through, his favourite thing to do was to drive their tractor around and around the farm, john always adored tractors, the big back wheels and the small fron...

A blonde goes to a barber with a pair of headphones on...

The barber asks for her to take them off so he can cut her hair and she screams that he can't. He murmurs under his breath but begins to attempt to cut her hair. He is almost finished but he can't cut the hair under the damn headphones. He decides to make the decision himself by removing them. Once ...

Why do so many people smoke in China?

So that they can breathe in filtered air.

A blonde walked into a hairdresser with headphones on...

...And says to the hairdresser, "Do anything with my hair, but don't take the earphones off".

So the hairdresser started to cut but was finding it pretty difficult, so he thinks "What could happen if I took the headphones off?", and he took them off. The blonde dropped dead straight away.
...

What's the difference between Tay Zonday and ASMR videos?

Tay moves away from the mic to breathe in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four scientists are driving down the road, when...

Four famous scientists are driving together and get pulled over.

The cop walks up and yells at the driver, "You were going 100 miles an hour!" Heisenberg throws up his hands and yells back, "Great! Now I'm lost."

"What's in that garbage bag you're holding?" the cop asks the front passe...

A young Iroquois enters the longhouse of the village matriarch

"Grandmother, I've got a bone to pick with you" he exclaims.


"Yes, my son. What do you seek?" inquires the wise, old woman.


"Where do our names come from?"


"When a child comes into our world, I take him from the midwives and raise him towards the sky. I close my eyes...

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A 40 year old man went go to take a prostate exam...

As the nervous man walked into the doctor's office, the male doctor told him to "relax everything will be quick". The man of course was hesitant, but agreed. The doctor said "sir I will count to 3 and then I want you to breathe in at 3, then I will enter the rectum". The man again was hesitant, but ...

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day.

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra pants, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman.

She decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, "I need a haircut....

A blonde walks into a salon with headphones over her ears...

... the hairstylist she goes to is baffled by the headphones, and when he tries to take them off, the blonde swats his hand and says, "No! Don't take them off!" So the stylist cuts around them.

The blonde becomes a regular to the salon, always wearing the headphones. One day, the stylist b...

The Blonde and the Earbuds

A blonde regularly sits in the office with a pair of earbuds in. Because of this, she regularly doesn't hear her boss. One day, the boss calls out to her, and for the umpteenth time the blonde doesn't hear him. Fed up, the boss stomps over to her desk, rips off her earphones and begins to yell at he...

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