Inspire Jokes

Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ... read more

along with the crayons that go with them.

"Why, from you of course, Heinrich!" Beethoven replied.

"From me?" retorted Heinrich. "A genius like you, inspired by a clod like me? Oh, that's funny...

"Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*! Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*!"

It was a Finnish hymn.

Unfortunately, I'm lack toes intolerant.

(This joke inspired by an 8 year old)

And some of the other car drivers were so inspired they joined me in honking at her.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didn’t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.

Things went great for a while, with some food... read more

Merm-aids


(Inspired by a Family Guy joke)

Its WWIII, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.

He goes up to the first man and says: “What brings you in here son?” The soldier replies: “sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful.” The g... read more

I have no clue

iSoar

(inspired by ImpulseSV)

Why did Adele cross the road?








To sing hello from the otherside

called Oscar’s Lap

Influenzers

in the dream, one night he walked outside his midwest house amid farmland. then he heard a whispery but clear voice. the voice said 'if you build it, they will come.'

It was because nobody could solve all its problems...


(Inspired by the original Maths book having problems joke)

He was later poisoned by the Greek Teachers Union

The suspect's family claims he was inspired by First-Person Shooters

When their first child was born, he let his wife name her.

She named the baby girl "Love" inspired in the same spirit as Carol's unique name.

Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.

She came home from school... read more

Aspirin

sorry guys

Thomas Aquinas walks into a bar, and the bartender pours him a big goblet of mead.

Bartender says, "How ya doin?"

Aquinas says, "Oh, not so great. I've been working on this treatise for seminarians. Uh, basically explains all the major points of Catholicism. It could be the most impo... read more

And he was inspired. The guitarist was masterful, and the horse knew, then and there, that he needed to play guitar. More than anything he'd ever needed before.

So he calls up his buddy, who is a guitar teacher, and asks his buddy to help him learn guitar. The horse takes to it quickly and p... read more

The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. Your Holiness, said one of the Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths. The Pope thou... read more

I met George R.R. Martin at a book signing a while back. It was very early in the morning and there weren’t that many people around, so I actually had the opportunity to chat with him a bit. I told him I’m a huge fan of his works, and that he’s always been an idol of mine, and that he inspired me to... read more

Unfortunately, it's only for my left arm.

My bladder mostly.

I am really inspired by countries and companies that hire people with disabilities.

Even people with learning disabilities and mental issues are able to get a job and make a living.

A great example of this excellent trait is the USA, where a disabled man is the president.

A stainless steal.

Me.

She confidently walked up to the edge and she turned to me and said "Ya know, I really want to make a difference. I really want to make an impact on this world."

...All she needed was a little push in the right direction.

I went to the kitchen, and I looked up through the skylight windows. I then noticed a plastic Rite Aid bag that was stuck in a tree.

My dad saw me looking up, and he asked me, "What are you looking at?"

I said to him, "There is a Rite Aid bag in the tree."

He asked me, "Do you ... read more

Student: The due date.

Because he wasn't picked yet.

Obviously this is where dad jokes and humor come from.

Slip not.

They wanted to rob Rob Lowe's low-cal calzone zone.

I can always look up to them.

I’m sorry sir, but this airline does not allow carrion.

The name of his first album?

"*Orange Is The New Black"*

Made me think of this gem:

Why dont blind people go skydiving?

It scares the sh*t out of the dog.

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Haiku na Mattatta

but I've seen stranger things

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

Jardines

(Got inspired by a video game for this one)

So I was moving a refrigerator and I needed some extra strength. Instead of grabbing some Tylenol, I snagged a couple of Altoids instead. Cause I'll admit, I was curious...

Q: What comes in quarts?

.

.


A: Elephants