What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-morse code.

“The 40 yard dash,” answered Timmy. “100 meters,” said Becky. “Blacks,” said Billy.

Coach’s face fell to the floor. “That’s not what I meant when I asked what race makes you most nervous.”

Not paying for a meal is called a Dine and Dash..

Surely not paying for a haircut is a cut and run?

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The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t inform the husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story,”Excuse me my dear……..my stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom.

The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back ...

Lindsey was at the country club for his weekly round of golf.

He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang... it was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in an accident and was in critical condition in the ICU.

...

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A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor…

… to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more than one complaint.

“Doctor,” he asked, in total frustration, “is there anything you can do for me?”

The doctor replies, “Medically son, there is nothing I can do.  But, I do know this witch who ...

Ordered takeout from Door Dash and offered the Dasher some fries.

"Nah, I'm good. I already had some"

One rainy, windy night, a man was walking home alone, down a dark, deserted street that ran right by the local cemetery.

As he passed the gates, he heard a bump in the darkness behind him. Not daring to look back, he quickened his pace. But, the bumping noise continued behind him.He stopped and turned to see what it was. Coming down the road behind him was a coffin, standing on end, bumping from side to side -

...

A woman in a park called 911. When the police officer arrived at the scene, he saw two men, standing on their hands, dashing towards a line painted on the ground. The police officer was livid at the woman having wasted his time.

"This ain't a scene," he said, "it's a goddamn arms race."

I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time.

When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.

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100m Dash

A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"

Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"

"No, with 8 black men and a gun."

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My wife and I often role play. It always ends up with me playing the sexy guy driving the Uber that she seduces. Until I got her pregnant...

Now I just get to role play as the Door Dash guy..

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A billionaire is throwing a lavish party for an elite crowd of party goers.

Raging well past the midnight hour, the host heads outside and attempts to get everyone's attention by tapping his champagne glass as he walks towards the pool.

"If you could all please direct your attention to the pool, we shall begin tonight's true entertainment!"

A truck backs into ...

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Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

If I buy a Prius, I’ll make sure to put a bobblehead Yoda figurine on the dash

Then I’ll have a toy Yoda in my Toyota.

David's life was at a low point.

Seeing no way out, he walked out on a bridge, intending to end it all by leaping off. A woman, driving by in her car, sees David hesitating unsteadily on the wrong side of the railing and realizes what's going on. She stops her car and dashes over, hoping to talk him out of suicide.

"Wait!" s...

What did the owner of the Italian restaurant say to the bald man that was trying to dine-and-dash?

You need a toupee!

What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?

Remorse code

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A man is diagnosed with testicular cancer

After a routine check-up, Mike was discovered to have a massive tumour in his ballsack and his life was turned upside down. His girlfriend broke up with him when she heard and he lost his job as a pornstar, when his empolyer heard about his cancer. After a few months of chemo, and no improvements to...

A seer was recruited to help a party of heroes break into a ruined dungeon

The other heroes knew that his knowledge of the arcane would help them to understand and predict the nefarious traps that were sure to beset them within the darkened tunnels.



The dungeon's architect had laid it out as a chess board, and the party moved one by one along the squares. Th...

Which celebrity gets the most speeding tickets?

Kim Kar-dash-ian

Quasimodo Part 2

After Quasimodo’s funeral the next Sunday, his identical twin brother Farsimodo that no one knew he had was so distraught that he vowed to take up his brother’s mantle. Realizing that the funeral got out right before he had to ring the bells for the first time, he made a mad dash for the spires of ...

What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash?

The superior race

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I don't normally make fun of somebody's race, but someone has to say it.

FUCK the 100 meter dash. It's just a weaker version of every other race.

Timmy loved tractors. His life was all about tractors.

Timmy loved tractors. His life was all about tractors. Tractor bedspread, tractor themed birthday parties, tractor t-shirts, school bags, lunchbox, everything Timmy owned was tractor themed in some way. He knew everything there was to know about tractors; big, small, new, old, he knew it all. When h...

A bartender is having a quiet night at the bar

A bartender is having a quiet night at the bar when notices a gorilla walking in. The bartender dashes towards the manager’s office in a shocked expression.

“Sir, uh, we have a gorilla in the bar,” says the bartender.

“Well son, go ask what they want,” says the manager.

The bar...

What do you call a group of impotent men running the 50m dash?

The olimpdicks

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A pheasant was standing in a field

A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree', sighed the pheasant, 'but I haven't got the energy'.

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients'.

The pheasant ...

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Guy driving down a highway sees a chicken with three legs overtaking him. He floors it

and the chicken stays ahead of him. He’s never seen anything like it, so he follows the chicken but it speeds up, 60, 80, 100 mph! He can barely keep it in sight, but sees it get off the highway and then, at the last second, sees it dash into a farmyard. He skids to a stop and sees the chicken run u...

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Three friends find a magical pool in the forest.

The magical inscription beside it says "Run at this pool and jump in while screaming your desire. The pool shall be filled with whatever you wish for."

The first guy, being the sensible one, ran straight at it and shouted "MONEY!!!" True enough, he landed in a pool of cash up to his neck. Bag...

Is it OK to hate certain races?

Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.

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My Shaggy Dog Joke

WARNING: This joke will probably not be funny.

There was this young boy who fantasized about flying like the birds one day. Every day after school he would try to make an invention that would allow him to soar above the clouds.

Every time he failed. Kids would bully him for flailing t...

I saw a chap dashing though town with what looked like a dolphin tucked under his arm.

I thought to myself, "now there's a guy with a porpoise".

Vittore Santos decided to enter a Christmastime food competition. Entrants were to make 100 tacos and arrange them in the shape of a Christmas Tree.

The winner would win $10,000. Vittore made his tacos and arranged them into a truly majestic Christmas tree shape with taco ornaments and a taco star on top. All that was left was to wait for the judges and camera crew to come by.

While he was waiting, a man dressed as The Grinch pointed at h...

A man dashed into a bar

Haemmorage

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A Japanese man decides to do some travelling in Africa

A few days into his journey, he came across a tribe not far from a large and dense rain-forest. The tribe leader was ecstatic that someone of Asian descent was at his tribe. They quickly exchanged names and the tribe leader offered to give a quick tour of the rain-forest nearby.

Sato was amaz...

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A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

A farmer was working out in the field with his three daughters one day when he saw a car approach

A strapping young man stepped out of the car and approached the farmer confidently.

'Hello sir. My name's Dean, and I'm here to take Jean to the dairy Queen'

The farmer respects the lads courteous approach and says, 'Alright Jean off you go, you kids enjoy yourselves'. Not five minutes...

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

A man

A man is having dinner with his new girlfriend's family. They spend the early part of the evening talking, getting to know each other, and just generally having a good time.

After about an hour in however suddenly the father stops mid conversation, puts on some sneakers, and dashes around the...

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Wait, what was my line again??

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day. "I’ve got you a job," says his agent. "That’s great," says the actor, what is it?" "Well," says his agent, "it’s a one-liner" "That’s okay," replies the actor, "I’ve been out of work for so long I’ll take anything. What’s the line?" "Hark, I h...

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After a rather careless plane crash where everyone was killed, the two pilots responsible were escorted to Satan to choose their eternal damnation.

Satan told the pilots they could choose either door number 1 or door number 2 for their sin of killing innocent people.

"Take your time," he said, "you've got forever to suffer it."

So the pilots look behind door number 1 and it's a freezing cold, blizzard of a hell. They look at each ...

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Charles, Angus and Patrick had just broken out of prison

Knowing that the police were hot on their tails, they dashed into the nearest building they could find; and old pub. Worried that the police would arrive at any second, they headed into the basement to hide. In the basement they found three large burlap sacks, which they hastily climbed into in an a...

I'm an aspiring music producer. The other day, I got recognized as I was driving around.

They said "Hey, aren't you our door dash driver?!" I gave them their food and drove away.

What happens if you take a popular website, add a dash of censorship, and allow the discretionary system of control to be based on the biases of individuals...

[This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.]

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Three vampires were having an argument

They wanted to compete to see who was the best. Without warning the first dashes away, and reappears after 15 seconds with blood dripping from his fangs.

"Do you see that house there?"
"Yes"
"I killed the family inside and drained them of their blood!"

Not to be outdone, the seco...

A cowboy's horse died on his way to town...

As he was walking down the dusty trail, he happened across a ranch. With a renewed sense of hope, he asked the stable keeper if he had any horses for sale.

"Sorry, I've fallen on hard times myself. I had to sell all of my horses!"

The cowboy noticed a rather strange-looking steed stand...

Happy Easter Weekend ...

It is the day of Christ's crucifixion, and Jesus is being nailed in as his followers gather at the base of Golgotha to weep and mourn.

As they pray, they hear Jesus call out in a soft voice: "Peter ... Peter ..."

"Our Lord calls to you, Peter!" Thomas says.

Emboldened, Peter t...

Parody of “Jinga Bells”

Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!<...

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So a farmer wakes up one morning and looks out the window and sees his prize rooster laying in the middle of the barnyard stiff as a board with buzzards circling overhead.

With his only rooster dead, he decides to go to the market to buy a new rooster. At the market he sees a stall with a very nice looking rooster and he asks the seller how much he wants for the rooster and the seller tells him $1000. The farmer is absolutely shocked at this price, but the seller tell...

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The Physics Student

Some time ago, I received a call from a colleague who asked if I would be the referee on the grading of an
examination question. He was about to give a student a zero for her answer to a physics question, while the student
claimed she should be given a perfect score and would, if the system we...

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A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband walks in.

Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror.

"Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!"

The wife, startled at her husband's violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.

"You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!"...

Did you know 'cyka blyat' is Russian for 'watch out'?

That's what I learnt from watching dash cam videos.

[possibly NSFW] One day a man walks into a bar...

... and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny piano.

Stunned the man asks the bartender where he got this amazing person.

The bartender replies that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.

The man dashes into the the closet and a...

In a far away place... In a small rural town...

There was a boy named john. John didn’t have many friends growing up as he preferred to keep to himself. Johns family were farmers through and through, his favourite thing to do was to drive their tractor around and around the farm, john always adored tractors, the big back wheels and the small fron...

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Picture the scene, it is 1915 and the Great War is raging in Europe.

The war brought forward many brave fighting units and among those there were none so brave as the aviators of the French Flying Corps. Every weekend these modern day gladiators would fly to Paris and install themselves in the Grand Hotel. The locals, particularly the young ladies, would be desperate...

What do you call an English one night stand?

Banger and Dash

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Pierre the French Aviator

Pierre the French Aviator was dashingly handsome and quite the ladies man. He went out one night and met a beautiful lady and seduced her. They went back to his place where things started to progress...

*"Oh Pierre! Pierre? Won't you kiss me?"* asked the woman.

(In thick French accent)...

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[NSFW] A drunk guy staggers into a bar and orders a beer.

He goes up to the barman and shouts, "Wow! There are A LOT of hot women in here".

Filled with Dutch courage, the guy says, "I bet you 50 bucks I can go up to any hottie in here, squeeze her boobs, slap her ass and still get her number!"

The barman agrees and they put their money under ...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead rob a bank..

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome.

Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway.

The cops are quick though, a...

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DOOM

The police officer approaches me slowly, his hand on his pistol. “Sir, can you please come down from that tree?”

“Not a chance!”

He surveys the destruction all around us. “What happened here?”

I stare at the smoking remains of my house and mutter, “Doom.”

The Police offic...

I’m not racist, but some races are simply inherently more important than others.

For example, the presidential race is much more important than some 100m dash.

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you ar...

A Jewish bookie was at the races playing the ponies and losing his shirt.

He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot - won the race.

Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track.

Sure enough, he blessed one of the ...

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One night while the husbands at the pub a wife gets to reading an article “is your vagina getting saggy”

After some thought she starts to worry so gets the idea to examine her nethers. After trying with a mirror from all angles she decides to put the mirror on the floor and squat over it to get a real good look.

To her surprise her husband comes into the room. All of a sudden he dashed across t...

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A rabbit spots a fox rolling a blunt

The rabbit dashes to him and shout : " Don't smoke weed man, just go for a run with me!"

And so they went for a run.

After a running for a bit they spot a squirrel ready to snort up a big fat line of coke.

The rabbit again dashes to him and shouts : "Mate, don't do it! just go f...

Indian police.

[Please excuse my bad english, I'm still an amateur]

An american man with a briefcase full of illegal drugs was walking through an busy crowd somewhere in Mumbai.

"Sweet! Imma sell this for thousands of dollars"

As he made his way through the crowd, he heard someone screaming, h...

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Nude beach

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.

After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be rea...

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The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by.

He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smil...

(Long) A thirsty man got himself lost in the desert...

and was searching for water. After countless hours searching and hoping, he came upon a well with a big opening.
He peered inside... squinted... but couldn't see a thing down there.
He looked around and found a small pebble and tossed it in. He then listened closely for any sign of a splash or...

Computer games are said to be a bad influence on kids.

Nonsense - my generation grew up playing Pac-Man, but did we end up dashing around dark rooms and swallowing white dots while listening to electronic music?

The difference between Canadian and American men...

Back during WWII, an American GI met a Canadian soldier fighting along side him. The two fought together throughout the war and both made it home safely.

After the war, the two returned to their respective homes and decided to marry their respective sweethearts. The two became such good fri...

Some well-intended people like to use a lot of hyphens in their writing, but not me.

I prefer just a dash

What did the bangladesh worker do when the light turned green?

he bangla-dashed.

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Two men are out golfing one day and one decides to take a piss...

... the other man waits patiently, waiting for his friend to return from the bushes. All the sudden, he hears his friend yelp followed by his friend dashing from the bushes.

The man who was waiting started to freak out and asked his friend what had happened.

His friend responded with "...

The Christian Horse (long)

A man who owned a farm was looking to buy a horse. Wanting to get one for relatively cheap, the man began looking on Craigslist, and soon found a really inexpensive horse only a few miles away from him.

When he arrived, he was astonished by the horse. It looked noble and strong, like out of ...

Converting a Bear to the Faith

A rabbi, priest, and a preacher meet every Monday in a coffee shop to talk things over about their spiritual life.

One day, the priest makes a bet with the other guys that he could convert a bear in the woods over to his religion. The others nod and say "Yeah, I'll bet we could do it quicker...

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Catfood

So this woman has her bridge club every Thursday night, and after a peaceful game or three with the ladies she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game, she has an incredible hand, when she notices the time.

"Oh, no! I ...

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Coffee and a Blowjob.

A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the lucky passengers on board a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during our recent hurricane “Bob”. The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same – rough enough that the flight at...

Today, Switzerland face Sweden in the World Cup. The strategy for both sides is simple:

Dash towards the enemy until they are neutralized.

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats

* Newton said he'd drop in.
* Socrates said he'd think about it.
* Ohm resisted the idea.
* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
* Volta was electrified at the prospect.
* Pavlov pos...

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Moral of the story

There was a fly buzzing over a lake. In this lake was a fish. This fish was thinking to himself, "Man, if that fly would come down 6 inches, I could jump up and eat that fly."

Behind a bush near the lake sat a bear. The bear looked at the fish, then at the fly, then back at the fish, and then...

What do you do when you have 10 minutes to complete your math test?

Geometry dash

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If Dr. Seuss wrote instruction manuals.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-...

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3 navigators land on a foreign island in the middle of the ocean.

The 3 men, one from Japan, one from France and the last from Australia, run onto the sand, immediately feeling the intense heat that the sun was giving off. After hiking for around half an hour, the travelers spot a beautiful oasis at the bottom of the hill. They all make a mad dash towards it, eage...

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.


Edit (back story): the origin of this joke came from a road trip back when I was in highschool (about 17 years ago). My buddy left the car door open and the dash displayed "the door is ajar". He thought it was funny, since we're use to seeing the "door open" icon and woul...

The European Vacation

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob at...

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you c...

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A man from Wyoming and a man from California are driving across Wyoming in a pickup truck. [NSFW]

It’s boring, it’s flat, they haven’t seen anything interesting in hours.

Eventually, they find a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. The man from Wyoming looks over at the man from California with a crazy grin and says “watch this”.

The man from Wyoming pulls the truck over, climbs...

Grand dad...

One morning after a fresh rain, a grandfather and his young grandson are walking the property. The grandfather looks down and sees an earthworm emerging from its burrow.

"Okay, sonny, here's a challenge: If you can figure out a way to get that worm back inside his burrow, I'll give you $5.00...

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A woman walks into the doctor's office

She asks the doctor, "How much do you charge for a breast job?" The doctor replies, "The procedure starts at $5,000, depending on the size." She says "I can't afford that much money, are there any other options?" The doctor leans back and says "Well, yes, for $200 we can insert a balloon into each b...

What do you call a handsome sprinter?

Dashing.

3 drunk guys entered the taxi

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, ''We have reached our destination''. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said ''Thank you!.'' The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd guy knew what he did...

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Mr Lion goes down to the river to drink...

...and as he lowers his head to the water, Mr Chimp leaps down out of the trees, scampers up behind Mr Lion, yanks his tail to one side, and visits an unspeakable outrage upon the King of the Beasts!

He then scampers away, leaving Mr Lion crestfallen and vowing to revenge himself on the imp...

If you're ever in a hurry...

Put your fidget spinner on your dash, then just use the handicapped parking.

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A nun goes golfing...

*[I was playing a round of golf the other day with a fellow who asked me if I knew any golf jokes. When I replied that I did not, he said you should always have a golf joke or two in your repertoire. I asked him for a joke then, and he told me this one. I now have one in my repertoire, and so wil...

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

...But he spends all his time on the dash board.

Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman...

Join the crusades and have been caught in the Bazaars of Constantinople by the Saracen Army. Dodging in between the shops they spy an alleyway and dash down it. Seeing its a dead end they look for a place to hide. They notice three large wicker baskets they all jump in one and with baited breath wai...

Snails

A husband and wife have been at odds with each other over the husband's endless drinking and stopping out late. To get their marriage back on track, the wife decides to make a romantic french dinner with Snails to start so she sends her husband out saying 'right, please can you buy me these snails f...

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and go seek

Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting, while Pascal dashes off to hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and steps into it. Once Einstein finishes counting, he notices Newton and says "AHA, I've found you Newton!" To which Isaac Newton replies "you di...

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(Long) If the fly drops six inches (Best if you can rattle it off fast)

There's a fly hovering over a lake. In the lake looking up at the fly is a fish, and the fish is hungry. It's looking at the fly thinking "if that fly were to just drop six inches, i could jump up and grab it, and have a tasty meal".

There's a bear on the shore. It's looking at the fish, who...

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are all attending a conference.

By chance they wind up staying on the same floor of a certain hotel.

Late that evening, the engineer is awoken by the smell of smoke. He steps into the hallway and sees a small fire. Thinking quick, he dumps out his wastepaper basket, fills it with water, and douses the flames. Satisfied, he...

A man runs into a bar

A man runs into a bar, dashing through the doors, wearing absolutely nothing but a sheet of plastic wrap covering his entire body. The bartender stares at the man and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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A guy goes to see the doctor...

A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him.
Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor that he thinks might be able to help.
The witch docto...

I like to be positive

Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.

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A King's Offer

In a far away land, an old king had fallen ill and was resigned to the inevitability of death. However, by failing to bear a son, the king feared for the future of his kingdom. A daughter, was all that would remain of his line.

So, to resolve this issue, the king came up with an offer. One d...

Did you know princess diana was on the radio during her car accident?

She was also on the dash, windshield and the hood

A priest , rabbi, and televangelist were at a bar.

Every Monday night a priest , a rabbi, and a televangelist meet at a bar and argue about who's people are the true chosen people. God is there drinking and comes to the three and says "You guys argue about this every Monday and it's getting old. Here's what we are going to do, you three will go the ...

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