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Suspension Jokes

I can't tell whether my new car's suspension is amazing, or if im sociopath.

Either way when i ran over that pedestrian, i didn't feel a thing

I can't sleep on suspension.

Trust me - I've tried that once and almost fell out of the hammock.

The best thing about Adrian Peterson's suspension...

...he gets to spend more time with the kids.

What is the opposite of the suspension of disbelief?

The Flat Earth Society.

Joe the dyslexic cop gets pulled into the captain's office...

Joe the dyslexic cop gets pulled into the captain's office, where he is read the riot act. The captain says, "You're a good cop, but these reports just aren't going to cut it anymore, Joe! They're practically illegible! The next report, if there's even one word misspelled on it, you are going on sus...

I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on..

.. the suspension is killing me.

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven"...

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me.....

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Comcast has received a notification by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, reporting an alleged infringement of one or more copyrighted works made on or over Comcast's High-Speed Internet service (the 'Service'). The copyright owner has identified the Internet Protocol ('IP') address associa...

I knew a man whose work focused specifically on designing draw bridges...

of course, this was before his suspension.

[Long] Since you guys liked the last one, here's another joke from my country

In a far away kingdom, the king got married to a beautiful wife. After being married to her for a year, the king started to worry that his beautiful wife might be sleeping around.

So he got a blacksmith to build a device to fit in her ladyparts which will dice anything that goes in. He manag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm absolutely fuming..

My son got sent home from school yesterday. He has been suspended for running around the girls toilets waving his willy around. Idiotic yes but it seems he had done it for a bet.

Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone...

Did you hear about the man who was run over by the police?

He was arrested under suspension of law.

If you lose your license take all the shock absorbers off your car.

Then you won't be driving on a suspension.

A penguin takes his car to the mechanic…

A penguin drives his car to the mechanic’s shop and says the engine is making a weird noise.

“Alright,” the mechanic says. “Give me a little bit and I’ll take a look. In the meantime, you can go to the ice cream shack across the street…”

The penguin went an ordered a vanilla ice crea...

What do cars get when they’re bad in school?

Suspension.

What do you call a potion that turns you into an atheist?

A suspension of disbelief

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students?

To the suspension bridge.


This joke can't even hold itself up...

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