I can't tell whether my new car's suspension is amazing, or if I'm a sociopath

Either way when I ran over that pedestrian I didn't feel a thing.

I can't sleep on suspension.

Trust me - I've tried that once and almost fell out of the hammock.

What is the opposite of the suspension of disbelief?

The Flat Earth Society.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the mechanic that was caught having sex with car parts?

He got off with a suspension.

What do cars get when they’re bad in school?

Suspension.

The best thing about Adrian Peterson's suspension...

...he gets to spend more time with the kids.

What do you call a potion that turns you into an atheist?

A suspension of disbelief

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm absolutely fuming..

My son got sent home from school yesterday. He has been suspended for running around the girls toilets waving his willy around. Idiotic yes but it seems he had done it for a bet.

Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone...

A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

...

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Comcast has received a notification by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, reporting an alleged infringement of one or more copyrighted works made on or over Comcast's High-Speed Internet service (the 'Service'). The copyright owner has identified the Internet Protocol ('IP') address associa...

[Long] Since you guys liked the last one, here's another joke from my country

In a far away kingdom, the king got married to a beautiful wife. After being married to her for a year, the king started to worry that his beautiful wife might be sleeping around.

So he got a blacksmith to build a device to fit in her ladyparts which will dice anything that goes in. He manag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students?

To the suspension bridge.


This joke can't even hold itself up...

I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on..

.. the suspension is killing me.

What do you get when you break into your school to make a heterogeneous mixture?

A suspension

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven"...

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me.....

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