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Breach Jokes

The latest 23andMe data breach is believed to be perpetrated by the same hacker from the previous breach.

It appears they're related.

What do you call a ravenous breach of medical history?

A hungry, hungry HIPAA

Google didn't fail to inform about Google+ data breach.

They posted it on Google+ but no one saw it.

Recent cyber security breaches are discovered due to their rapid deployment.

The hackers are always Russian.

On the subject of American independence, did you know that the Revolution was initially viewed as a breach of contract?

They heard that the Americans violated the teas and seas.

In light of the customers' data breach Capital One unveiled a new slogan today:

Who's in your wallet?

Was talking with a friend recently about security breaches and mistyped “Assley Madison”

I think it has a nice ring to it.

Each sperm contains 37.5 MB of information. A broken condom is therefore a data breach.

Better get and NDA from the other party.

The trees and the shrubs are at war.

The shrubs assemble a meeting to see how to breach the tree's defenses. The head shrub asks his subordinates to state who they are and what their plan is for attacking the trees.
One of the shrubs responds; "I am bush"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adolph Hitler had a stamp on his desk

It was solely used to RSVP for meetings. The picture resembled a dolphin breaching water. Historians now believe the message was to mean Adolph in.

Why should you never make a contract with a whale?

The whale will eventually breach.

Civil engineer goes to Hell

A civil engineer dies and goes to Hell by accident. According to policy, all civil engineers go to Heaven but a mistake was made this time. The engineer descends to Hell and he finds the situation miserable. Too much heat, fires, lava, vapor, and everyone is in panic mode. So he goes to have a littl...

The German Lifeguard

A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached.

They quickly called for the German Life Guard yelling "Help we're sinking!"


The Life Guard asked "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here is a useful information you need to know : Orthodox priests are allowed to get married. That explains why the priest is believed to have a wife. Now read the joke.

A man from a small Bulgarian (Orthodox country) village had an insurmountable desire to sleep with the local priest's wife. In order to ensure that the priest would not come home in the wrong time the man asked a good friend of his to find a way to keep the priest in the church for long enough. The ...

Trump's first scandal.

Trump has had his first scandal. According to CNN, Donald Trump has gone to a private dinner with his family without alerting the press core. They've called this 'A dangerous breach of protocol and lack of transparency'.


I guess they're worried that he may have given some classified infor...

The Great Wall of China proves that Trump's wall will work...

... throughout many centuries no Mexican has ever breached it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/14)

Folks, folks. What a day! There are some good jokes out there to be had. Let's take a gander, shall we?

There's already some news out of the presidential election front...

Some are reporting Gov. Christie is losing weight just so he can make a run in 2016. Not to be outdone, Sen. Rubio...

Three potatoes decide to go to the swimming pool.

The first potato goes to the lowest diving board, does a simple forward flip, and lands flawlessly in the water, before coming back up for air, and swims off.

The second potato climbs to the next diving board, does a more intricate double-backflip in the air, and lands feet-first into the wat...

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creation of a pussy, improved version.

Each man was a master-of-craft at his trade,


Now by God in his wisdom a task they'd been laid.


See them gathered together, by calling divine


to fashion a vulva of peerless design.


The first man, a butcher of eminent skill


took a hold of his bla...

The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is grou...

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