Break Off Jokes

She was lack-toes intolerant.

(P.S. "DAAaa-a-a-a-aad!! Ugh!")

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

I wrote this joke in a book I published recently.

>“Would you like to hear a joke I wrote about seafood?”
>
>“Sure.”
>
>***A man went to a restaurant and ordered lobster. When the plate was placed before him, the lobster was in numerous pieces. The man asked... read more

A woman decided to break off her recent engagement, and her friend said, *what happened? I thought it was love at first sight!*


To which the woman replied, *but the second and third ones changed my mind.*

They should have gone for the Great British Break Off!

A bunch of US soldiers were marching across a field. One of the guys says to his buddy, "Hey, do you see where we are?" He looks around and realizes they are walking through a massive field of marijuana. The soldiers started breaking off plants and stuffing them into their clothes and their helmets,... read more