My local church went bankrupt and someone turned it into a gun range.

The community didn't like it, but it already had pew pew pews.

i heard on the news that some message board site is bankrupting wall street billionaires

"reddit?"

no i said i HEARD it

The only thing Trump has bankrupted more than his businesses is

Half the the country's morals.

Why'd the millionare go bankrupt overnight?

He didn't have healthcare

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...

As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.


He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.


"Why did you stop me you old fool?"


"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old ma...

My gym recently went bankrupt

Who's the quitter now?

A wizard's company went bankrupt...

He had to let his staff go.

It could've been worse.

## It could've been worse.

James is walking on a downtown street one day, and he happens to see his old high school friend, Harry, a little way up ahead. "Harry, Harry, how are you?" he greets his old buddy after getting his attention.

"Not so good," says Harry.

"Why, what happe...

Did you hear about the bankrupt penny factory?

Makes no cents.

What do you call bankrupt Santa?

St. Nickel-less.

Badum-tss.

Life's Philosophy

The great man told his followers, 'There are 2 things in life that matters above all else - Integrity, if you'd made a promise, you carry it out, even if it bankrupts you, cripples you or kills you. The other thing is common sense, like not making that promise'.

Trump's 4th of July 'Salute to America' has bankrupted Washington D.C's Emergency Planning and Security Fund, which is used to provide police and security support at Presidential events.

This throws uncertainty on whether or not the President will be able to hold the annual Turkey Pardoning Ceremony this November, which is expected to feature a Presidential Pardon for Trump's close personal friend Jeffrey Epstein.

How has Donald Trump managed to bankrupt so many casinos?

He hits on anything twelve or higher.

Knock-knock... Who's there? GameStop... Gamestop who?

GameSTOPPPPP BUYING!!! STOP BUYING!!! My hedge fund is going BANKRUPT!!!

Why did the bankrupt woman have hearing issues?

Her money was in arrears

Why are brake shops going bankrupt?

Because people have hard time stoping by

From Dario Argento’s Deep Red: Why do Australian boomerang sellers always go bankrupt?

Because their goods are always returned!

Why did the bankrupt tightrope walker retire?

He no longer had outstanding balance.

A man who owned a flower shop

He was very successful, had lots of business for many years. Then one day some catholic monks came into town and opened up their own flower shop across from his. It only took a few weeks for the man to lose all his business and nearly go bankrupt. Knowing it was because of the flower shop across the...

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A man wakes and finds himself in hell

One day a man with many vices dies and finds himself in hell.

Wallowing in despair that his decisions in life have landed him in hell, he has a meeting with Satan.

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a l...

Why did the chiropractor go bankrupt?

He owed too much in back taxes.

What do you call the shareholders of a bankrupt company?

MiStake Holders.



(It's bad I know)

When I went bankrupt I tripped

I lost my balance.

The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit...

Against Las Vegas.

Bill Cosby may have been convicted, sentenced to prison, and end up bankrupt...

But at least he'll always have a roofie over his head.

As soon as Don Cappelli and his thugs entered Mario’s restaurant

...all of the guests immediately stopped what they were doing and quietly left. Don Cappelli’s face was very well-known around the city, and while he was ‘saving’ business after business from going bankrupt and helping families at their time of need, nobody dared ask where his money came from, nor d...

Why did the battery store go bankrupt?

Everything was free of charge.

Did you here about the pizza place that when bankrupt?

I guess they weren't making enough dough

Why do lottery winners always go bankrupt?

Because if they knew anything about managing money, they wouldn't be playing the lotto in the first place!

- Anthony Jeselneck

Ever heard of the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronzefish.

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

The sheriff's department auctioned off a bankrupt crematorium yesterday.

I was surprised there wasn't morbid, but it's a tough way to urn a living.

Why did the alcoholic undertaker go bankrupt?

He spent all his money on biers and preaches.

A religious blonde is going bankrupt...

She prays to God to win the lottery, so she wouldn't have to sell her car to make it through the week, but alas she doesn't. Next week she prays again to win the lottery, so she doesn't have to sell her house but again she doesn't win the lottery. Having nothing left she prays to win the lottery the...

Did you hear about the Make A Wish Foundation going bankrupt?

Some kid wished for more wishes.

Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt?

Because his career was in ruins

dwights farm as suffered a massive blight, almost bankrupt he was signed for a massive record deal on the condition he give up farming

turns out all he had to do was drop those sick beets

Trump said that he’ll treat the US like a business

***So he bankrupted it***

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3 surgeons are in a bar...

They're arguing over who is the best surgeon out of all of them. The first one goes, "Well, one of my patients lost his leg, but after I gave him a prosthetic leg, he became an Olympic runner." Second one goes, "Psh, that's nothing! I once had a patient with several brain disabilities and was mental...

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My nonprofit for constipation awareness went bankrupt (at least half of you can guess the punchline)...

because no one gave a shit!!! yeah yeah, I know where the door is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, Putin called up Trump asking for a favor...

"We have a problem. All of Russia's condom manufacturers have gone bankrupt, and soon we will have a shortage," said Putin.

"That sounds pretty bad. How can we help?" Trump asked.

"We need you to send us American condoms."

"Of course, we can cut you a deal."

"Another thin...

A funeral director is standing at the edge of a cliff, about to jump

Funeral Director: I'm ruined! My funeral directory business has gone bankrupt! I will lose my home, my wife, my kids. I'm RUINED!!! RUINED!!!!!!!! Okay... on three, I jump. One... two... thr-

Man: What are you doing?

Funeral director: I'm about to commit suicide. You?

Man: Also ...

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A man gets hit by a bus, dies and goes to Hell..

Upon his arrival, he is greeted by Satan's secretary who begins to process his paperwork and give him the run down on what it's like for eternity.

Secretary: "Hell really isn't all that bad, buddy. We have themed daily activities to keep our residents occupied. Were you by any chance a drinke...

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Wife caught me cheating.

My wife ran out the room last night, she turned and screamed at me, 'And you know what? You've gone too far this time.....we're finished!! You're bankrupt and the way you wander round the streets so aimlessly, it's a suprise you don't one day end up in prison!'' But babe...' I said, taking a step ...

One day, the monks at a monastery decided they need to raise money.

Friar Tuck decided to start a florist's shop. It was a success! All the villagers nearby loved to buy flowers from the men of God. All except one, that is. The local florist. He was getting run out of business by the monks. He went to the Friar and asked him to close their shop, but they refused....

Ed Smith was a famous but rude ore trader in the area.

ED SMITH'S SHOP.

It was one of the biggest landmarks in the town. You could just look at that big metal sign and see how proud the man was of his trade.

No matter how good a businessman he was, Ed's arrogant behavior was loathed by pretty much everyone. He was too proud of his riches, ...

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An Old Jewish Joke

Saul was struggling to take his last breaths when he asked his former business partner and ex-friend Seymour to come to his bedside.

“Seymour,” said Saul barely able to breathe. “I’m dying. But before I go, there’s some things I have to get off my chest.”

“Please Saul,” said Seymour. ...

What is the poorest bank in the world?

Bankrupt

I don't wanna grow up, I wanna be a Toys 'R' Us kid...

Bankrupt and empty inside.

The head of the Physics department needs money...

... so he goes to the University's Bursar to ask for a grant, 10 million to start work on a particle accelerator.

The bursar puts his head in his hands in exasperation.

"Every time I see you, you're after more money for the physics department! Ten million here, six million there... you...

The GOP announced a new slogan today...

“We’re not just morally bankrupt, *we’re Roy Mooreally bankrupt!”*

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Lenin headed directly to Heaven after he died.

He thought he had done much good for the oppressed and deserved retirement in Heaven. He arrived at the gates.

"Who's there?"

"Vladimir Ilyich Lenin."

"Okay, okay! Last one in be sure to close the door. It's kind of cold in here..."

God checked Lenin's dossier and decided...

Positive...

James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:

" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"

" -Terrible."

" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"

" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."

" -Well, you win...

Jacob and the Lottery

Jacob is a well to do Jewish man with a beautiful wife and 3 children. He owns a start-up business that has been doing quite well recently.
However, his business suddenly goes bankrupt and Jacob goes to God for help.

Jacob kneels at the altar and says: "Lord I have always been faithful and...

There was a man named Joe...

Joe had a French fry shop across the street from the local florist. One day, the florists went bankrupt and closed down. Then 2 people moved in, fellow fryers, and started stealing Joe's customers.

Joe was outraged, and thus, led him to go talk to the other fryers. They got so mad at Joe they...

Needed a new paint job

My house needed a new paint job on the outside so I called up a painter and he came and a did a couple hours of work.

Knowing how expensive painters usually are I begrudgingly asked

"So how much is this gonna bankrupt me"

He replied

"Nothing it's on the house!"

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The worst (best?) pun ever.

So a man owns a flower shop in a small town. He's the only florist in the area, so nof course all the townspeople went to him to buy flowers for special events. Then one day a friar moves in, and sets up a flower shop right across the street from the florist. Since everyone wanted to buy flowers fro...

It's time for some Tern Jokes!

* A group of sea-birds flew over Amsterdam.
No tern was left unstoned.

* Frans just opened up his new Deli and was doing quite well. People came in from miles around to buy his sausages and meats, and they never left unsatisfied. One day a man walks in and orders a pound of sausage. Fran...

There was a man so poor and broke...

That when someone stole his wallet, the robber went bankrupt.

What's a Grecian Urn?

Nothing, they're bankrupt.

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Hitler dies and ascends to be judged at the pearly gates of Heaven.

St. Peter steps out, the Book of Life under his arm, and sees Hitler standing there.

"Hitler? What, are you kidding me?" exclaims Peter.

"I know, I know" says Hitler, putting his hands up to calm the saint "but what you may not know is that in life I recognized the error of my ways and...

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