I don't trust a teacher who reviews every single piece of homework they give out

I think they're mass-grading as someone else.

Why don’t frogs give out parking tickets?

Because they already toad ya!

A lawyer, a priest, and a programmer are driving down a mountain when their brakes give out...

They all start screaming as the car goes faster and faster, and they start barreling around the curves. Somehow they make it to the bottom, safe and sound. They all pile out of the car as quickly as they can.

The lawyer angrily says "We should sue the manufacturer!"

The priest falls to...

Why did the hotel refuse to give out the advertised “continental breakfast?”

The continent was Africa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do women's prisons give out tampons on release day?

Because all sentences should end with a period.

what is something you can give out as a Christmas gift but still able to keep it at the same time?

flu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know they give out Viagra at nursing homes?

It stops the patients rolling out of bed.

What did the Mongolians give out for Halloween?

Khandy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What bees give out milk?

BooBees

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gav...

2 masochists went to a BDSM convention

The convention was doing a special showcase of some dominatrixes who were considered the best at their job, they were all on separate booths where they would give out free samples and show off their techniques.

On the first day the more experienced masochist wanted to go to the woman with th...

Why is Twitter more lenient than Facebook jail?

Because they give out shorter sentences

During a mass, the pastor was teaching his congregation what a tithe was.

'Now, if you have a million dollars,' he asked the crowd, 'how many of you will give out one-tenth to the church?'

All but one raised their hands. Bemused, the pastor walked down towards the one who didn't.

'Why not, my child?' he asked, 'Isn't there nothing more joyous than giving bac...

There are two rules in life:

1. Never give out all the information.

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