Why did the two book lovers break up?

They weren't quite on the same page.

Why did Pinocchio’s girlfriend break up with him?

He said “I love you”

Why did my gamer boyfriend break up with me?

I didn’t meet his xboxtations.

My girlfriend: If you don't stop making Scooby Doo references, then I'll break up with you.

Me: Alright gang, let's split up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate having to break up with Japanese women

You have to drop the bombshell twice before they get the point

Why did Jasmine break up with Aladdin?

Because he had a boo on the side

Why did Barbie break up with Ken?

He kept Toying with her emotions

I was gonna break up with an ex-girlfriend because she had a Linkin Park poster on her wall

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

Why did Ranch break up with Thousand Island?

Because Thousand Island Bleu Cheese

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese person?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for them to understand.

P.S. : Reposting this as some Japanese folks didn't get it the first time around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex had a good reason to break up with me

Someone posted a video of a strip club with me in the back getting a lap dance

Yea my boyfriend didn't really like that I wasn't gay

How do you break up a fight between two blind people?

Yell "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

My girlfriend wanted to break up with me for misquoting Oasis lyrics too much...

I said: "I don't believe anybody feels the way I feel about you now."

Why Did The Socks Break Up.

Because one always had to be right so the other left.

I used to date a cross eyed girl but we had to break up

She was seeing someone on the side

What's the worst way to break up with Elon Musk?

By saying *"I need some space"*

Traffic in New York seems like a mass break up

No one is moving on

Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up?

Because they had no CHEMISTRY.

My girlfriend said she wants to break up with me because im too childish

i said please give me another chance
she said "no, we're through, done, finished, end of, period.
so i started laughing
she said "what are u laughing for?"
i said "hehe, you said period"

What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight?

Liam Malone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“No, Donald, I didn’t break up with her because she was silly.

I said ‘I dumped Minnie because she was fucking Goofy.’”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are drinking at a bar all night. Finally, one man says to the other, “I hate to break up the fun, but I’ve got to go home and take off my wife’s underwear.”

The other man replies, “What makes you think you’ll be so lucky?”



The first man replies while walking out the door, “because they’ve been riding up my butt all night and I’ve had enough.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend warned me she would break up if I didn't stop making oral sex jokes.

I said "That's hard to swallow."

How do you break up with a famous movie director?

You look him in the eyes and say, Joss we done.

I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend

Love meant nothing to her

Break Ups.....

Girl : I am breaking up with you.

Boy: Ok!

Girl : You will never find somebody like me again.....

Boy : Thank God!

I always miss the people I break up with.

I should really improve my aim.

'How to break up with your girlfriend: a two step process'

Step 1: take off your glasses

Step 2: say: 'I'm afraid I can't see you anymore!'

Why did the Soviet guy break up with his girlfriend?

He saw red flags everywhere.

My wife wants to break up with me because I would be too obsessed with horses.

I thought we'd have a stable relationship, but neigh...

Why did the female rock break up with the male rock?

Because he took her for granite

Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Him: Ok. And for the main course?

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he needed his space.

What’s the worst way to break up with a blind person?

“I think we should see other people”

Break ups are the worst in China

You see her face everywhere

Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up

However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.

They're great at separating independent Clauses.

Why did Captain Kirk’s girlfriend break up with him?

Because he Shatner face.

I finally found the courage to break up with my violent and abusive sausage boyfriend

So you can imagine my horror when my friend tells me “the wurst is behind you”

What do you get when you break up with your girlfriend in the shower?

A Kleenex

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

A friend of mine was trying to figure out the best way to break up with her boyfriend.

She seemed awfully concerned that he not be angry.
"Are you afraid he'll spread lies about you?" I asked.
"I don't mind the lies, but if he ever tells the truth, I'll break his neck," she answered.

Why did Mike Tyson break up with his girlfriend?

EARreconcilable differenceth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to break up with your partner

You: Your ex is sexy


Them: Which one?

You: Me lol, bye

I witnessed the break up of an obese couple

I guess they didn't work out.

Couples usually break up after 7 days

Because they have a week relationship at that point

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.

I had to break up with my cop girlfriend. We’re both into BDSM...

but I’m not comfortable doing blackface

I had to break up with my girlfriend. She was a necromancer.

She wanted us to raise a family together.

A police officer tries to break up with his wife, also a police officer.

Husband: "We're over."

Wife: "We're what? over."

Why did the woman break up with her ghost boyfriend?

He got possessive

How did the goth kid break up with his girlfriend?

He sang her You Are My Sunshine.

I hate break ups

Especially when they tell you things like, "It's not you it's me","I just need some space", "We can still be cousins."

My son just told me the school security guard got fired and the new one has only one arm. He asked, "How will he be able to break up fights with only one arm?"

I replied, "Single-handedly."

My girlfriend threatened to break up with me because of my obsession with the monkees

At first I thought she was joking, but then I saw her face....

My girlfriend says she may break up with me because I don't like cats...

I told her, "I like cats, I just can't eat a whole one by myself."

A man wanted to break up with his long-term girlfriend

Marcus decided to do this when they were going to have a dinner night with both of their parents.

When the night came, he cleared his throat before mustering up the courage to say,

"Angela, I believe that we need to break up. I'm sorry, but it just isn't working out between us anymore...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to break up with my girlfriend...

Me and my Japanese girlfriend had been dating for around 9 months before she really started becoming attached and really clingy. I decided that the best thing for me to do was to end the relationship. When I told her she took it surprisingly well, and she didn't get upset or anything. I was ecstatic...

I had to break up with my Seismologist girlfriend.

She kept pointing out all my faults.

We need to break up...

...your busy schedule with some well deserved snuggle time!

My girlfriend threatened to break up with me

She said, "You act so childish whenever I'm around. Now, it's either 'your mom' jokes or me."

I said, "And I, like so many men before me, will eagerly choose your mom."

Did you hear about the guy and girl who mutually decided to break up because the guy had ED?

There were no hard feelings.

So, the time had come to break up with my girlfriend

Don't get me wrong, there was definitely fault on both sides. But she could never confront our issues head-on; whenever we came up to a difficult topic (e.g., lying, trust, infidelity) she would always try to distract me and change the subject.
This tendency extended to when it had come time...

How did the programmer break up with his girlfriend?

2-1=\[True\]

When I told my ex girlfriend that I wanted to break up, she tried gifting me a mini plastic figurine of myself in an attempt to salvage our relationship.

I screamed, "Lego of me!"

How did the egg break up with the other egg?

She said, "We're ova!"

Britain should have written a break up note

"It's not EU, it's me"

My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups...

That's the last time I buy A Dell.

How do you break up with somebody in Italy?

It's not you! It's a me, Mario!

My husband made me break up with my boyfriend

That damn man is always meddling in my affairs

Why did the Iguanas break Up?

A reptile dysfunction

How does a guy from Alabama break up with his girlfriend?

It's over, and I'm sorry. I hope we can still be cousins.

My girlfriend said she wanted to break up

It's okay though, she said we could still be cousins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Donald Duck break up with Daisy Duck?

Turns out she was a quack whore.

I was dating an archaeologist but I had to break up with her

Turns out she was a gold digger.

Why did 8 break up with 7?

Because 7 always came first!!!

How do functions break up?

They stop calling each other.

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in North Korea?

B-52! B-52!

I think my phone might want to break up with me...

It keeps telling me it needs some space

Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend?

She just wasn't working out.

I keep missing the people I break up with

I need to practice my aim more.

How do you break up with a farmer long-distance?

A John Deere letter.

What did Jay Z say when he called to break up with his girlfriend?

It's Hova.

Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up?

They were just never on the same page...

I was going to break up a fight between two Rabbis...

But they were just arguing semitics.

Why did the vegetable band break up?

They couldn't keep the beet.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.