A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.
As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.
"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."
One day during a war....
A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.
Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."
The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wil...
Roses are red
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you.
The roses have wilted
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head.
God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.
"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."
"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."
The Bell Ringer
A priest stands alone in his church. It is a beautiful old church with a great tall bell tower. Suddenly, the front doors of the church open and a hobbled old man walks in. He is barely able to walk and his back is so hunched he can barely look up at the priest. The old man walks up to the priest an...
Middle Ages Joke
Flower: I will droop my petals a little.
Aspiring gardener: THOU WILT NOT.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
So this woman has her bridge club every Thursday night, and after a peaceful game or three with the ladies she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game, she has an incredible hand, when she notices the time.
"Oh, no! I ...