Dear friends, it is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:
The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess...
At a wedding reception, the groom’s grandfather stood up to make his toast. Having been married for 60 years, he wanted to pass on his secret to the newlyweds. The grandfather addressed the happy couple, saying “the tip to a happy and long lasting marriage is to beat your wife up every morning.”
An uncomfortable silence followed. The grandfather continued, “yes, I beat my wife up every morning. I get up around 6:30 and she gets up around 8.”
The CEO offered an employee a bonus of $10k or to double it and pass it on
The CEO offered an employee a bonus of $10k or to double it and pass it on to the next employee.
The first employee elected to double and pass it on. The CEO thought what a generous individual this was and then moved on to the next employee.
The next employee also declined the (now)...
A fly feels a bug on its back
"Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?", it asks
"I *mite* be", giggles the mite
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard", groans the fly
"What do you expect?", says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly"
^(I apologise. My bro just sent it to me and I had to pass o...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.
Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.
And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
"Well," says the first nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger." ...
When Beethoven passed away...
...He was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some...
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