The 100+ Best Type Jokes

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I’ve got a Yamaha surround sound system.

In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.

But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.

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4 types of orgasm...

Do you know that there are 4 types of orgasm… the Holy Orgasm, The Positive Orgasm, the Negative Orgasm and the Fake Orgasm.
The Holy Orgasm sounds like ‟Oh God, oh god…”
The Positive Orgasm goes ‟Yes, yes, oh yes, ”
The Negative Orgasm goes ‟no, no, oh no”
and the fake orgasm, the fa...

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What type of elf is the rudest?

A go fuck yourself

What do you call someone with both Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes

Ambidextrose

What is the most dangerous type of canoes?

Volcanoes

I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

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A Man Buys His Wife A Special Type Of Dildo

A man was looking around a sex store searching for a special sex toy to buy his wife so that she won't screw around on him while he is away on a business trip for a few weeks.

After not finding anything special he asks the old man working the store.

The old man replies "Well there is...

There are two type of countries.

Those that use the metric system and those that have been to the moon and have recreated nuclear fusion.

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

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There are only two types of people worse than racists

The blacks and the jews

There are only 10 types of people

- Those that understand binary
- Those that don't understand binary

Doctor: I think the patient is dying. What’s his blood type?

Nurse: B positive.

Doctor: Okay. I think the patient is going to make it.

What is a kidnappers favorite type of shoes?

White vans.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept saying "be positive"

I'll try but it's hard without him.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women

He said the ATM outside

What type of joke is the best joke?

A Communist joke, because everyone gets it.

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE

In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison...

Poison I, II, III, would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However poison IV would make you really itchy.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

There are 3 types of people in the world; those who are good at math...

And those who aren't.

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There's two types of people in the world.

People who look good naked, and people who go to nude beaches.

What's Whitney Houstons's favourite type of co-ordination?

HAND-EEEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE

I didn’t think I had a type.

Turns out it’s called ‘women who already have boyfriends’

(This is not a joke) I'm a linguistic researcher that is working on the semiotic of jokes and need help to find exemples of a particular type of joke.

Hi, I hope this is not against the rules but I need help for a research paper centered around jokes, and this obviously looks like a good place for that.

I am working on linguistic structuralism to try to find the linguistic value of surprise in a joke. (I'm simplifying a lot, but i can expla...

What's Jesus' Myers-Briggs personality type?

INRI

There are 10 types of people in the world

The ones who understand binary and the ones who don't. And apparently eight more the guy wouldn't tell me about. Smug git

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

What is Donald Trumps favourite type of clothing

Russian Ties

What’s an Indian person’s favorite type of book?

Naan-fiction.

I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD

and found out I have Gary Busey

Babies are like flying type Pokémon

They’re strong against bugs, but weak against rocks and electricity.

What is your least favorite type of race?

Me personally I don't like marathons

What blood type are newspaper editors?

Typo Negative

You can relax a person with a type-A personality by removing their type-P traits...

I'm telling you, remove the P-ness from their A-ness and they calm right down

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Dad, how many types of boobs are there?

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, suprised, answers "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice and hang...

What is the most selfish type of bomb?

A mine!

What is the most selfish bomb found on land?

>!A landmine!!<

What is the most selfish one for water?

>!Nestle!!<

TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

What is the one type of person that will never get angry?

A nomad.

what type of blood do ghosts donate?

plasma

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What type of bees produce milk?

Boobees.

There are three types of people

the people who can count, and the people who can’t

What's the scariest type of algebra?

BOO-lean

If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type,

I'd be her type.

What are the Scottish' favorite type of bread?

Gaelic Bread

What is Medusa's favorite type of cheese?

Gorgonzola

What type of books never get read?

I've a lot of books on procrastination. I didn't find the time to read them.

I've a lot of books on memory trouble. I don't know where they are.

I've a lot of books on anger management. They're all damaged.

I've a lot of books on DIY Furniture repairs. They serve as legs of tabl...

What type of eagle do you see at a beach?

A seagull.

Compliments of my 4-year-old

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What is the cheapest type of meat?

Deer testicles. They're under a buck.

Which type of loan does an introvert prefer?

A leave me alone.

What type of underwear does Lara Croft wear?

Fruit of the tomb

The last time I was someone's type.

I was donating blood.

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

What type of flour do orphans use for baking?

Self-raising flour.

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There are 10 types of people in this world.

\- Those who understand binary

\- Those who don't

\- Those who didn't expect this joke to be in Base 3

\- Those who didn't expect this joke to be in Base 4

\- Those who didn't expect this joke to be in Base 5

\- Those who are pissed off at me right about now<...

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Names for different types of Golf shots.

There have been a number of humorous names for different types of golf shots, and I was wondering if anyone had heard of any more. Some examples:

Rock Hudson - A putt that looked straight, but wasn't.

Princess Grace - Should have used a driver, but didn't.

Princess Diana - Use...

To all the people who type "u" instead of "you" ...

What exactly do you do with all the extra time you saved?

What's the best type of dog to bring to a library?

A hush puppy

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"

My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"

Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

Did you know there is a very rare type of milk?

I don't know the name of it but my Dad has been looking for it for years.

There’s a new “Door Dash” type service for cocaine.

It’s called “Insta Gram.”

What type of underpants do lawyers wear?

Legal briefs.

What is a lemur's favorite type of make-up?

Madagascara

What type of money do you make when you donate to a sperm bank everyone day?

Passive incum

What type of wine do traders drink?

ImPORT/ ExPORT

My wife was very much open to the idea of naming our child after a type of flower.

She wasn’t so happy when I suggested the type should be “self-raising”.

What's the only type of pizza you can order in North Korea?

The Supreme Pizza

Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]

9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" asked the man.

The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials...

Q anon conspiracy types must be absolutely fuming

they were promised a storm...

...and in the end all they got was a 'lil wayne.

I'm here all week.

What is the dwarfs favorite type of cake?

Shortcake.

What type of fuel do painters prefer?

Whatever makes the van gogh..

-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as stupid as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.

(my 6yo) What type of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin Medicine

What type of salad did they serve on the Titanic?

Iceberg lettuce.

What's every men favourite type of tea?

Tea Tea's

Knowledge is knowing that pineapples are not a type of apple

Wisdom is knowing not to put them on pizza.

They say that the 10 types of people in this world are those that can read binary and those that get laid.

Can someone explain to me the other 8 types?

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade

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A blind man interviews for a job at a lumber company and the interviewer doubts the man’s abilities. He says, “how could you possibly be qualified for this job?”, to which the man replied, “I can tell any type of wood just by the smell. “

A blind man interviews for a job at a lumber company and the interviewer doubts the man’s abilities. He says, “how could you possibly be qualified for this job?”, to which the man replied, “I can tell any type of wood just by the smell. “
The interviewer doubts this and sets up a test of the m...

There are two types of puns.

The great puns, which are great to hear, and the grate puns, which grate your ears.

What type of people won’t stop warning about the end of the world?

Flat earthers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Hitler's favorite type of food?

Not Seafood

What do you call it when one artillery projectile eats another of the same type?

Cannonballism

What is a zombie's favorite type of weather?

A brainstorm.

What type of plant is most satisfying to own?

A succ-you-lent

The other day I met a sentient ant who grew fond of me. It turns out he has the ability to type and write as well…

This looks like it’s all a cake day joke, but it’s just fondant.

what's a Mexicans favourite type of joke?

Juan liners

What's the spookiest data type?

***Boo***\-lean!

What type of beasts of burden do weird farmers keep?

Unorthodoxen.

What type of shoes do bananas wear.

Slippers

What type of milk do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk.

Friend : I have got Diabetes type 1

Me : 1

He blocked me, no idea what wrong I did.

There are only two types of hair: public hair and pubic hair.

But that's one L of a difference.

What type of computer does Ronald McDonald use?

A big mac

What type of job would a spider have?

They would work for the IT department doing web inspection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the most popular type of porn for dogs?

Big Black Cockerspaniel

What kind of stone do you need to evolve eevee into a ghost type?

Easy

any stone can do the job, just remember aim for the head

The butcher had over 20 types of cured cylindrical meat for sale.

I never sausage a selection.

(From my 9 year-old son) What type of fish should you use to catch other fish?

Bait-a fish.

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