My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

There's only one type of person who never gets angry...

A nomad.

There are eleven types of people in the world

People who understand roman numerals and those that don't

Pikachu is type electric, Charmander is type fire

Snorlax is type 2 diabetic

I'll show myself to the door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two types of men in this world,

Men who have tried to suck their own penis, and liars.- Crit1kal

What is Donald Trump's favorite type of cheese?

White American

What’s Michael Jacksons favourite type of pasta?

Spaghett-hee hee.

What Type of Drink Makes you Lose Weight?

Lighter fluid

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who get binary, and those who don't.

And those who weren't expecting this to be a ternary joke.

There are two types of people in this world:

1) those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

Last time when I was someone's type..

I was donating blood

What's Chinas favourite type of weather

A Blizzard

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses favorite type of car?

A CONVERTable

What type of shoes do kidnappers wear?

White vans

What's the saddest type of fish and chips?

a battered sole.

Types of deodorant

I went to store and asked for some deodorant.

The cashier asked "Do you want the roll on ball type?"

I said "No thanks, I want it for under my arms."

What’s the best type of Kung fu vegetable?

Brock Lee

What type of car does a cowboy drive?

Audi partner.

Pittsburgh, New England and Oakland have the same blood type

AB Negative.

my wife asked me why i always type using lower case letters.

i said i stopped giving a shift.

What types of marathons do racist people run?

Only 3ks

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

What is Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?

HAAAAAND EEEEEEEYYYYYYYEEEEE

What is Fonzie’s favorite type of corn?

Ayyy-corn.


I’ll see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do 40 year old virgins type their spreadsheets?

Incels.

There's a new type of Heroin on the market that's called "Jesus Christ"

Finally a way for people to feel good after taking the lord's name in vein

What is a lewd ghost's favourite type of tea?

Boo - tea

What’s a horses favorite type of ice cream?

Sher-bit

There are 11 types of people in this world...

1 those who understand binary

2 those who don't

3 those who are sick of hearing this joke





4 those who don't check for data overruns



Commit: re-scope of overflow after code review thanks @eightvo

-- 6 those who don't check for data overrun...

What type of insurance does a florist provide?

Wife insurance.

What type of construction are dogs good at?

Roofing

There's a type of mustard gas that stays near the ground and only kills people less than 4 feet tall.

It's used in chemical dwarfare.

If your surprised that Jeffrey Epstein commited suicide this morning

Imagine how surprised he must have been.

What would a gun type if they're disappointed?

SMG

The other day I was asked if I knew that there are two types of HIV

So I said of course hivs and hervs

What is a cheesemonger's favorite type of music?

R & Brie

(insert all your puns below)

What is Toshinori Yagi’s favourite type of burger?

A Smash Burger

What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?

A pairing knife

Which blood type causes the most mistakes in hospital?

Type-O

What type of monkey goes into a mine field?

A baboon


haha im so funny

A guy goes to the doctor needing blood for his disease, the doctor sadly tells him there is only one blood type available for him and they are all out. The patient, worried asks if he is going to survive. The doctor says he isn’t sure, the patient asks isn’t there anything I can do?

The doctor looks around the room then whispers, “you can steal b positive”

What type of witch goes to the beach?

A Sandwitch

I just tried out a more durable type of paper.

It wasn't tearable.

My great uncle died in the hospital because they didn’t know his blood type

He held my hand through it all and said “Be positive”

What do you call a type of orange that served in the military?

a navel officer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two types of people on earth. People who are aggressively violent, and people who are aroused by vegetables.

As for me, I cum in peas

What's the name of the type of force that holds a baby in the mother's womb?

Centrifetal

What type of tomato smells best?

A Roma

What type of cars do Missionaries think Native Americans drive?

Convertibles

Did you guys see Eevee's new flying-type evolution in Sword and Shield?

It's called Pigeon.

What is a Pokémon’s favorite type of bread?

Dark Rye

What’s the only type of meat that a Priest can eat on Friday?

Nun.

My grandfather with alzheimer died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

What's your favorite type of shake?

Chocolate, vanilla, or Parkinson's?

Interesting misconception regarding Type O Blood

Initially, the medical community referred to it as 'Type Zero' blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins. The term was misinterpreted to what it is today. You could venture as far as saying it's a **typo.**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two types of people in this world

Those who can stay focused and finish a task, and oh, look, a butterfly!

What type of pasta is best eaten on its own?

Ravi-lonely.

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

What is an American student's favourite type of notebook?

A bullet journal

What's a drug dealer's favourite type of dog?

A meth lab.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists have discovered a new type of bees that make milk!

They have named them boobees

The only thing inspiring in my like is my blood type:

I'm a B+

What type of Apple's grow on trees ?

All of them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What blood type does a therapist have?

Aye, be positive!

What type of drink do insects avoid?

Fly's water.

*(fly-swatter)*



It's bad, but I just thought of it while reaching for my fly-swatter...

What type of animal is the worst to play cards with?

A cheetah.

I read that apparently 1 in 10 young Germans believe Auschwitz is a type of beer.



I tried it once. It wasn't for me. Too gassy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are only two types of people worse than racists

The blacks and the jews

What type of underwear do long distance runners wear?

Marathongs

What type of breakfast does Thanos like?

A perfectly balanced breakfast

It was too bad we could never figure out my grandfather's blood type in time.

He was so optimistic though. He kept telling us to B positive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are 2 types of men who sit on the toilet when they go to the bathroom.

Those who go to sit and think and those who go to shit and stink.

There are only three types of people in this world.

Man, Woman and Morgan Freeman

What do you deserve and is also a type of bagel?

Everything :)

Although fiber helps pass stool, you need to be careful about the type of fiber you ingest.

From my experience, T-Shirts work well but Jeans are a big no.

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who can understand binary

Those who can understand math jokes

Those who judge a joke by its title

Those who can recognize original content

Those who can tolerate repition

Those who can leave a better joke in the comments

Those who read all the way to t...

What type of Ape lives in the ocean?

A Shrimpanzee.

What is a scientist's favorite type of gum?

ex-spearmint!

What’s a fisherman’s favorite type of music?

Hard bass.

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

What's an Egyptian chemist's favorite type of liquid?

Phaorah fluid.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

Two english hunter types are sitting in a hospital waiting room

The first fellow says "I believe it's 'whoooom!'"



The other chap replies "no, no ,no - it's definitely 'WHHOOM!' "



A nurse passes by, hearing the conversation. She pauses, and tells the gents "actually , it's pronounced 'womb' "



To that, the first gent s...

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the...

How does the quadriplegic man type on his keyboard?

He holds his hands above his head.

A motivational speaker gave blood, what was his blood type?

B-Positive

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