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What type of elf is the rudest?

A go fuck yourself

There are two types of people in this world

1) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

Hand eeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyeeeeeeeeee

If you type you password in the comments or in a post it censors it. Look *******

Try it if you dont believe me

A friend of mine confessed his fetish for Flying type pokemon

It was really hard to swellow.

There are 10 types of people in this world

Those who understand binary, those who don't and those who didn't expect this to be a base 3 joke

What type of music do avocados listen to?

Guac & Roll

Which type of shoes does Captain Hook avoid wearing?

Crocs

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What is Samuel L. Jackson’s favorite type of porn?

Mother fucking.

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What type of bees make milk?

Boobies!

What type of vehicle does a rural boy with synchronous diaphragmatic flutter drive?

A hiccup truck

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There’s a new type of weed out there that causes diarrhoea...

Now I can’t decide whether to shit or get off the pot.

Evryone is unique and specal, even down to our blod types.

Sorry for Type O's.

I was going to tell a joke about a particular type of warship

but frigate

Recent studies suggest that subversion of expectations is the most effective type of humor among 13 - 40 year olds.

TIL

What type of car do anime girls drive?

a Nii-san

What type of tea does Uncle Sam drink.

Liberty.

(From my 9 year-old son) What type of fish should you use to catch other fish?

Bait-a fish.

Where can you find the definitions of different types of drugs?

Addictionary

I typed cigarette lighter into google

I got 15’000 matches

What type of batteries do vibrators use?

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDs

"I know how to plant a type of seed!"

"Sow what?"

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

I invented a utility belt that holds one type of spice.

Everyone told me it was a waist of thyme.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type...

As he died, he kept insisting “BE POSITIVE,” but it’s really hard without him.

What type of drugs do spices deal?

They dill weed.

What’s a stoner’s favorite type of poem?

A haiku.

What is Buddah's favorite type of cheese?

Gouddah

My friend died because no one around us knew his blood type

As he died he kept tellng us ''be positive'', but life is hard without him.

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Gays are very sociable types.

They like to widen the circle of their friends.

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What is Gordon Ramsay's favorite type of sex?

It's fucking raw!!!

What type of bread do redditors hate the most?

The *Rick* roll.

What's Forrest Gump's favorite type of pasta?

Penn-ay

Him: I have the ability to detect whenever I'm near a certain type of Middle-Eastern bread.

Her: Well, that's just naan sense.

I thought my blood type was A negative but then I got a blood test

I didn't know there was a blood type called HIV positive

What type of device plays offensive music?

A stereo type

What’s Luke Skywalkers favorite type of retirement account?

A Hoth IRA

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

There are two types of people I hate the most

First are the ones who never finish their sentences

What type of soda do the Avengers drink?

Groot-beer!

What’s your favorite type of puns?

I don’t know about you, but I think geology puns rock.

There are 10 types of people



1. Who understand binary.
2. Who don't understand binary.
3. Who couldn't guess that the joke wasn't in base 2.
4. Who now thinks that the joke is in base 3.
5. Who now realized that this joke can go on forever.

In 2019 the astrophysicists discovered a new type of matter, besides the already known visible matter, dark matter and antimatter.

They decided to call it "doesn't matter", as it seems to have no effect on the known universe, whatsoever.

What type of women do firefighters get?

Hose

What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?

Wrap.

What type of currency do astronauts use while in outer space?

Starbucks

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There are two types of men.

The two types of men. The ones that have masturbated before, and the ones who aren't afraid to lie.

There's only one type of person who never gets angry...

A nomad.

My friend once told me that type O blood used to be called type 0 blood

I guess he just made a type - O

Scott Morrison is literally the type of person who would like to see the world burn.

Starting with Australia 🇦🇺

Scientists have observed only two types of people:

Pheno-types and Geno-types.

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Whats the cheapest type of meat you can buy?

Deer testicles, they're just under a Buck!

What type of military vehicle to fish go to war in?

A fish tank

There are two types of bedhead and I only enjoy one

But I'm bald so I can't get either of 'em

What type of fixings do frogs like most?

Rivet. Rivet. Rivet.

What's a soldier's favorite type of sushi?

A combat roll

I am a type of fish that becomes SO loud in Sweden. Who am I?

Yellyfish.

There are three types of men...

1. Tri-weekly
2. Try weekly
3. Try weakly

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My grandad died because we didn’t get his blood type right. He kept saying, “Be positive! Be positive!”

And so we tried transfusing B positive blood but apparently he was just an optimistic little bastard was a Type A

What's the most annoying type of person?

One who answers their own questions

What Type of Drink Makes you Lose Weight?

Lighter fluid

What type of joke strings you along?

A really cheesy one.

Pikachu is type electric, Charmander is type fire

Snorlax is type 2 diabetic

I'll show myself to the door.

What type of tree is a cherry blossom?

A Nevergreen.

What’s the only type of wood that doesn’t float?

Natalie Wood

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There are two types of men in this world,

Men who have tried to suck their own penis, and liars.- Crit1kal

A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.

"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.

Types of deodorant

I went to store and asked for some deodorant.

The cashier asked "Do you want the roll on ball type?"

I said "No thanks, I want it for under my arms."

Three different types of engineers are debating which of their fields God must have worked in

A mechanical engineer speaks first. "Look at the joints, look at the tendons and ligaments, look at how strong our bones are. God was clearly a mechanical engineer."


An electrical engineer chimes in. "Are you kidding me? Look at the nerves, look at the way our brain can fire off a c...

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If I had to choose my favourite type of star, it has to be a white dwarf.

Peter Dinklage is by far #1 in that list.

What type of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly squats.

What is Donald Trump's favorite type of cheese?

White American

What type of shoes do kidnappers wear?

White vans

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses favorite type of car?

A CONVERTable

There are 3 types of Dracula that use Reddit

Those that can Count Dracula, and those that can't.

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