My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

There are 10 types of people

Those who can read binary code, and those who can’t.

Types of deodorant

I went to store and asked for some deodorant.

The cashier asked "Do you want the roll on ball type?"

I said "No thanks, I want it for under my arms."

There's a new type of Heroin on the market that's called "Jesus Christ"

Finally a way for people to feel good after taking the lord's name in vein

What type of car does a cowboy drive?

Audi partner.

What is Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?

HAAAAAND EEEEEEEYYYYYYYEEEEE

There are two types of people

Those who need closure

There's a type of mustard gas that stays near the ground and only kills people less than 4 feet tall.

It's used in chemical dwarfare.

What’s the best type of cheese in the upside down?

Demogorgonzola

Which blood type causes the most mistakes in hospital?

Type-O

I just tried out a more durable type of paper.

It wasn't tearable.

What is a lewd ghost's favourite type of tea?

Boo - tea

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

My great uncle died in the hospital because they didn’t know his blood type

He held my hand through it all and said “Be positive”

What do you call a type of orange that served in the military?

a navel officer

What type of cars do Missionaries think Native Americans drive?

Convertibles

What type of pasta is best eaten on its own?

Ravi-lonely.

What is a Pokémon’s favorite type of bread?

Dark Rye

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two types of people in this world

Those who can stay focused and finish a task, and oh, look, a butterfly!

What is an American student's favourite type of notebook?

A bullet journal

What type of tomato smells best?

A Roma

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two types of people on earth. People who are aggressively violent, and people who are aroused by vegetables.

As for me, I cum in peas

Interesting misconception regarding Type O Blood

Initially, the medical community referred to it as 'Type Zero' blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins. The term was misinterpreted to what it is today. You could venture as far as saying it's a **typo.**

What's a drug dealer's favourite type of dog?

A meth lab.

The only thing inspiring in my like is my blood type:

I'm a B+

What type of Apple's grow on trees ?

All of them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What blood type does a therapist have?

Aye, be positive!

My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."



The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...

What type of cologne does Elon musk use?

None, he just uses his natural Elon musk

What's your favorite type of shake?

Chocolate, vanilla, or Parkinson's?

What type of animal is the worst to play cards with?

A cheetah.

My grandfather with alzheimer died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

It was too bad we could never figure out my grandfather's blood type in time.

He was so optimistic though. He kept telling us to B positive

What type of underwear do long distance runners wear?

Marathongs

What’s Captain America’s favorite type of coffee?

Americano

What type of drink do insects avoid?

Fly's water.

*(fly-swatter)*



It's bad, but I just thought of it while reaching for my fly-swatter...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are 2 types of men who sit on the toilet when they go to the bathroom.

Those who go to sit and think and those who go to shit and stink.

I read that apparently 1 in 10 young Germans believe Auschwitz is a type of beer.



I tried it once. It wasn't for me. Too gassy...

There are 10 types of people...

People who have no idea where this is going

People who think this is a binary joke

And people who get that this joke is actually in base-3.

What type of breakfast does Thanos like?

A perfectly balanced breakfast

There are only three types of people in this world.

Man, Woman and Morgan Freeman

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists have discovered a new type of bees that make milk!

They have named them boobees

What type of Ape lives in the ocean?

A Shrimpanzee.

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who can understand binary

Those who can understand math jokes

Those who judge a joke by its title

Those who can recognize original content

Those who can tolerate repition

Those who can leave a better joke in the comments

Those who read all the way to t...

There are two types of men when it comes to jacking off..

Those that do, and liars.

What is a scientist's favorite type of gum?

ex-spearmint!

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

What’s a fisherman’s favorite type of music?

Hard bass.

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

What's an Egyptian chemist's favorite type of liquid?

Phaorah fluid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of pussy does a priest get?

Nun

How does the quadriplegic man type on his keyboard?

He holds his hands above his head.

Although fiber helps pass stool, you need to be careful about the type of fiber you ingest.

From my experience, T-Shirts work well but Jeans are a big no.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are only two types of people worse than racists

The blacks and the jews

Two english hunter types are sitting in a hospital waiting room

The first fellow says "I believe it's 'whoooom!'"



The other chap replies "no, no ,no - it's definitely 'WHHOOM!' "



A nurse passes by, hearing the conversation. She pauses, and tells the gents "actually , it's pronounced 'womb' "



To that, the first gent s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Butterhead, celtuce, and leaf are all types of lettuce...

But thats just the tip of the iceberg.

What type of people never get angry?

The nomads.

What type of toothpaste do they use in male prisons?

Cavity protection

What's the worst type of weather to hire?

Lightning, it's always on strike.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

What type of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad.

I specialise in a certain type of dark humour

You won't get it, it's for blind people

There are two types of friends.

Those who say 'tell me about it' and those who say 'tell me about it's.

Two trucks crashed on the freeway, one carrying intestines for transplant, and the other carrying various types of chairs.

It was a catastrophic bowel movement. Bits of stool went everywhere.

There’s 500 types of pasta

The pastabilities are endless.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

Why did the Asian kid get beat after his parents checked his blood type

His blood type was a B+

A motivational speaker gave blood, what was his blood type?

B-Positive

What type of mushrooms are the worst to have as friends?

Shiitalkin!

My doctor just told me I have Type-P blood

Turns out it was just a Type-O

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What has two thumbs and can type with its dick?

Tgis guy!

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the...

What type of tea is not in outer space

Gravitea

What is a cannibal’s favorite type of pasta?

Ramen.

"Do you know the new type of knock knock joke that starts with 'no me neither'?"

"No."


"Me neither."

What type of clothes is most suitable for royals?

A royal-tee

What's a chubby chaser's type?

Type 2

Knowing the types of people who reddit...

...I bet the cake icon is the only cake they're given all year.

What is the stupidest type of steel in the world?

Dumbasscus steel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a ghost's favorite type of porn?

Boo-kkake

Alternative punchline: Ghouls Gone Wild

Did you know, Google is making a new type of keyboard with only the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9? They're advertising it towards white women...

Because they "can't even"

How many bread types do Indian people like?

naan

A recently discovered type of kangaroo can jump higher than the empire state building...

... because Empire State building cannot jump at all.

I have trouble pronouncing certain types of flatbreads.

It's been a naan issue for me.

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