Why do Women and Children evacuate first during any type of disaster

So men can think of solutions in silence

What is Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?

HAND EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE

If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type

I'd be her type.

Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve learned that there are four types of matter. Solid, liquid, gas, and...

Black lives

Pretty sure it's original, very rough edges type joke. Input welcome.

A man decides to open his own Plant Nursery. After a few months his business starts going under so he goes to apply for a loan
The loan officer goes to the place of business and asks a couple questions
"sir do you have a background in the study of plants?"
"No, I just got this company on a ...

What type of car does Tarzan drive?

A Mazda tree to tree.

There are 3 types of people

Them: "the glass is half full"

Others: "the glass is half empty"

Me: "they didn't get my order right"

There are 10 types of people

Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

There are two types of thieves:

The first one: "Your money or your life"
Second one: "Just sign here, here and here."

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

What type of bagels can fly?

Plain bagels

What is a blind person's favorite type of humor?

Dark Humor.

There are three types of people in the world.

Those who can count and those who can't.

What’s my girlfriend’s favorite type of cake?

A dump cake

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like...

My best friend died after we couldn't remember his blood type

He kept saying, "Be positive" but idk man it's been hard without him...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The different types of people

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

A realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees 3 fucking idiots standing on the train tracks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, how many types of boobs are there?

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, suprised, answers "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice and hang...

My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theyre are two different types of people

Those who can spell and those who cunt

What type of cheese do you use to attract a Bear?

camembeart

What type of Ape lives in the White House?

A Trumpanzee.

A man was demonstrating a new type of drone to the military.

He was the project tech and was showing them how you could give it coordinates and an image of the objective and off it would go. Multiple options existed for the target - identify, pick up and bring back small packages, or deliver packages to soldiers in the field.

For some reason his boss n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just found out about a type of bread that’s used as a dildo in france

It’s a pain in the ass

What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun?

An Ultra-Violet

What type of bedding does a hip-hop artist sleep on?

A rap sheet.

What is Jesus’s least favorite type of gun?

A nail gun.





Ohhh... that’s in bad taste.

What type of music is played in every shoe store in South Korea’s capital city?

Soul

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Bill Cosby's favorite type if pudding?

Pudding his dick where it doesn't belong.

The only type of Men Women hates the most.

Its Menstruation, you hate it when it comes you also hate it when it doesn't for several months.

What type of toilets do pirates prefer?

Port-a-potties.

I'll sea myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of bees make milk?

Boobies.

What type of rodent needs cologne?

A muskrat.

What type of mixed drink is great for alcoholic readers?

Tequila Mockingbird

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of elf is the rudest?

A go fuck yourself

Which type of fish has only 2 atoms? [OC]

2 Na

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of jokes do West Virginians tell??

Hill areas ones.

A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says,"I think I might be a type O."

We lost our Dad yesterday. He bled out after a terrible accident. The paramedics asked if we knew his blood type, but we didn't.

As he died he whispered "Be Positive" but it sure is gonna be tough without him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a chickens favorite type of porn?

Hen-tai.

There are two types of redditors

1. Those who embrace content which echoes their own opinions.




^(just in case it’s missed, the joke is that the joke is an echo chamber. I’ll see myself out.)

There are two types of people I despise in this world...

1) Those who put animal names into words.
2) Hippocrites.

Scientists have discovered a food type that, if the buyer eats it, helps them to gain a HUGE amount of weight, makes them permanently bad-tempered, and it also makes them unwilling to listen to reason. It's known as...

Wedding cake.

I'm just not cut out for the dating world. The last time I was someone’s type...

I was donating blood...

What type of underwear does Lara Croft wear?

Fruit of the tomb

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen's breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.


Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to ...

Did you know that there are multiple types of roads that can fart?

Though most people assume that it's asphalt.

They told me I had blood type A

but it was a Type-O

What type of drug can you take if you have an allergic reaction to Rowan Atkinson?

Anti-MisterBeans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of cake makes you no longer have sex?

Wedding cake

What's the strangest type of liar?

A peculiar.

My bud Erik introduced me to his beautiful Indian friend, Monica. Being a nerd all my life, I thought I'd impress her with my typing speed. I wrote 70 words in a minute, and she was still unimpressed

Erik told me it was not her type

Really frustrating when autocorrect comes up with a *completely* different word just because you typed one letter wrong.

Someone told me there’s an easy fix,
I just hope they’re Rihanna.

I asked a cop, "You know what my toddler's favourite type of scotch is?"

He frowned. "What is it?"

"Hopscotch," I replied.

What types of jokes are allows during the quarantine?

Inside jokes

I just thought of this now and I don’t have time to fix it into a proper joke but... What’s the easiest way for a person with type 1 diabetes to lose it?

Eat enough to get type 2

Can we talk for a minute about stereo types?

Home theater, boomboxes, mp3 players, etc?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a sadists' favorite type of cheese?

Ouchies

What type of plants do skateboarders grow?

Faceplants

What is a kidnappers favorite type of shoe?

White Vans.

There are 2 types of people in the world: those that apologize when they're wrong

and those I double down on when I'm right.

A comedians daughter made a new type of ''knock knock'' joke

Then she asks if he will remember her in a second

He answers ''yes''

She asks if he will remember her in a minute

He answers ''yes''

She asks if he will remember her in an hour

He answers ''yes''

She says ''knock knock''

He answers ''who's there?''...

What is Sherlock Holmes' Favorite Type Of Rock?

Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Hitler’s favorite type of artwork?

Charcoal drawings

WHY DO BOOMERS TYPE IN ALL CAPS

BECAUSE THEY'RE CAPITALISTS

What's a Jawa's favorite type of bread?

ZUCCHINI!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of porn do pigs watch?

Hamateur.

Pandemic has led to another type of shortage:

Social skills

What type of trophy do you get when you’ve seen a traumatic amount of cat asses in your life?

A catastrophe

What type of underwear do lawyers wear to court?

Legal briefs

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

I heard due to the pandemic jobs of all types have been affected. Even employment rates for hitmen are down 75 percent...

On the bright side, demand for ninja assassins is through the roof!

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toad!

There are 10 types of people.

Those who want to punch me in the face now and those who are very confused.

What do you deserve in life that is also a type of bagel?

Everything.

Credit due to a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

TIL people with type A negative blood are more likely to become sick from COVID-19

I guess you gotta B positive during these rough times

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three surgeons are arguing what type of person is the easiest to perform surgery to

The first one says:
"Well, it's obviously librarians, because all of their organs are filed down in alphabetical order, and nothing is ever out of place!"

The second one answers:
"I disagree, the best people to operate upon are engineers; Their organs are very strictly placed exactly ...

Three little old nuns are attending a church service in Rome when, in a freak accident, a giant crucifix falls from the old plaster wall and kills them.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter says, "I'm SO sorry, Sisters, that was a freak accident and wasn't supposed to happen.

"Unfortunately, your Earthy bodies were too horribly mangled for us to just send your souls back, but we *do* have a protocol for cases like yours.

"W...

what is a mormon missionary’s favorite type of car?

a convertible

My Grandpa died last week,because we couldn’t figure out what was his blood type.

But he was strong man,who never gave up and he kept telling us to be positive till the last moment.

Which type of traveler is the most calm?

Nomads.

What's Forrest Gump favourite type of pasta

Penne

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the dentist.

A man goes to the dentist. The dentist tells him he is going to remove a few teeth and will give him some gas to numb the pain. Suddenly the man exclaimed that he hates gas and won't do it. So the dentist tries a different approach. He tries an injection but again the man exclaimed that he is scared...

‌‌I use‌‌d t‌‌o thin‌‌k al‌‌l blac‌‌k peopl‌‌e ha‌‌d boomboxes.

Turne‌‌d ou‌‌t i‌‌t wa‌‌s jus‌‌t ‌‌a stere‌‌o type.

What type of meals do math teachers eat?

Square ones.

What type of math do earthworms excel at?

Annelidic Geometry

Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.

EDIT: sorry, type-O

Lately I have been really busy and it's interfering with my hobby of collecting all of the different types of spices...

...I just don't have the thyme.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.