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Pornhub now has a category for Coronavirus videos

It's for sick fucks.

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Whats a skeleton’s favorite porn category

Eboney

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I heard there is a new category of rideshare where you can get a topless driver.

They are calling it a Boob Lyft.



Thank you... I'll see myself out.

Depressed people's favorite Netflix category

is "watch again"

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Given the words 'wife', 'odds', 'egg', and 'blowjob' which one doesn't fit the category?

Ans: (First, change the above term "wife" to "traffic" so that the good people are happy.) Blowjob. You can beat an egg, you can beat the odds, you can beat the traffic, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Did you know there is a category for the best reposts of all times?

It's called 'Hot'.

What's one thing you almost never need but if you need it once and don't have it, you probably won't need it ever again?

Parachute.

PS: Just as I was typing this out I realized a seatbelt would fit the category too.

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What's Vlad the Impaler's favorite pornhub category?

Ass to mouth

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Cakepilation

For my cake day I'm going to repost everything I can think of that fits into the category of cake-related jokes! You've heard them all anyway, who cares?



What did the cake say to the fork? You wanna piece of me?

What do you eat if you 3.142 cakes? You get fat. Pay attention, ...

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My sex life and my taxes fall in the same category.

Married, but filing separately.

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Black Mirror: Bandersnatch is definitely going to win in at least one award category...

...Viewer's Choice.

What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane?

MAST DESTRUCTION!!!

I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...

There's a new category of art where people paint babies who died in childbirth.

Still life.

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My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers

Girls Gone Wilde.

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A Gladiator’s Favourite Porn-Category?

Glory holes.

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Dad jokes are my favorite category of jokes...

But poop jokes are definitely number 2.

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With the surge in popularity of Country Music artists that have included rap in their songs, like Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt, this years CMA's will include a new category. As it is a hybrid style of genres, Rap and Country, the producers have settled on a fitting name for the award.

CRAP.

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I guess I'll never know the global favourite porn category

What is the world cumming to?

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When creatures were nothing but a clump of cells...

When creatures were nothing but a clump of cells a hole begins to firm that exists throughout their entire lives as their gastrointestinal tract.

Some creatures form from the mouth down.

Others the other way around.

Humans fall into the second category.

So everyone readin...

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I entered the sex Olympics for team GB...

Yeah, it's a real thing you know. Anyway, I was team GB's first ever entrant in the endurance category. I trained really hard for the event and put my all in. I'm proud to say that I'm the first ever Briton to come first and last in the same event.

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Was browsing the channel guide and stumbled upon a show called POV Shorts on PBS

I had to put my dick away when I realized POV isn’t just a porn category

Coronavirus has a ~0.2% mortality rate among young people, so in a class of 50, if everyone got it, there would be a ~10% chance of anyone dying

I nominate Jared

Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because




ROBOTS CAN...

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Pornhub is making a big change

Due to rising tensions, Pornhub has decided to change the category 'Masturbation' to 'Equalbation'

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Oatmeal Cream Pie

The most disturbing category in the Grannie Porn collection.

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I was in a job interview. The guy asked me if I was a risk taker.

I said yes.

He said how.

I said I once clicked the category 'Other' on PornHub.

A devout Christian man living in New Orleans refuses to leave his home after hearing news of an imminent hurricane and flood.

A richly devout Christian man lives alone in New Orleans. He keeps to himself mostly, isolating himself in prayer and self-reflection with little care for the outside world.


One day, the man notices it growing dark outside earlier than normal. He steps outside and feels the wind has pick...

I got fired from my job as a librarian.

For putting women's rights book in the fiction category.

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Two Roman Soldiers are standing guard...

In an attempt to make conversation, guard 1 makes a suggestion:

1: What if we had a word to describe people who haven’t had sex? What would it be?

2: Why would you think that!? It’s an arbitrary category and could make people uncomfortable. Think about their self esteem!

1: Calm...

How to take a hurricane seriously

If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.

No dogs allowed here

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and...

JESUS AND SATAN ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better jo...

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MONKEY EATS EVERYTHING

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, **"Your monkey just ate th...

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Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jac...

Engineers

[Engineers](http://www.1976ad.com/2011/09/12/engineers)

A math/engineering convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were a bunch of math majors and a bunch of engineering majors. Each of the math majors had his/her train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE tick...

A start-up company was deciding over something to manufacture

Something local that wouldn’t cost much.
They figured filtered water would fit this category.

After running it through all the bodies of the company, they decided on making bread. The water market was oversaturated.

Humans vs Robots

A company working on artificial inteleigence created three robots. To test them, the company announced a competition of various tasks between the 3 robots and 3 humans. Lo and behold, the robots won in every category so far, but there still was one; hunting.

In this task, the competitors had...

An old couple went to heaven

After spending 60 years being married.

When they reach the pearly gates, St George greets them and says, "Welcome! Let me show you what we have."

The saint leads the couple to a massive golf course and a huge golf club, with premium equipment.

"You'll never find anywhere better!...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves at a scene of utter carnage...

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself Watson, there's an evil hand afoot ahea...

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A Cucumber, A Pickle and a Penis... (NSFW)

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were all sitting around one day talking about how much their lives sucked.

The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a salad." So the pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad...

Police do a good deed

I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don’t care about others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows “not all cops are in that category”.

This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX. which reported ...

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THE GOLFER'S 10 MINUTE

The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday.

They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning.
George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.

On Saturday morning George wa...

But your lawyer died last week !!

A guy phones a law firm and says, **"I want to speak to my lawyer."**
The receptionist says, **"I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."**

The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, **"I want to speak to my lawyer."**
Once again the receptionist replies, **"I'm sorry,...

Tourist mementos.

Artifacts and gifts for tourists are a major portion of an Indian reservation's economy.

Thousands of visitors tour reservations each year and will not leave without purchasing at least one memento of traditional Indian culture.

One enterprising Native American was able to outsell all ...

Where is Jesus today?

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, **"Where is Jesus today?"**

Steven raises his hand and says, *"He's in Heaven."*

Mary answers, *"He's in my heart."*

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and b...

Triple Filter Test!!!

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in the highest esteem.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pa...

Hurricane Joaquin

This Category 3 Storm is likely to hit the Eastern US this week.

Good news for Arizona residents: you will not be affected by Joaquin, Phoenix.

Comic-Con Mysteries Panel

A friend of mine went to Comic-Con in San Diego a few years back, and attended a panel on mystery books and movies. Authors and actors there, a large panel, nearly 20 people. Most of the cast of the Sherlock Holmes movies and a few Agatha Christie adaptation were there. One of the audience members a...

The fortune teller

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the woman's li...

What is Vicious Circle???

The boss calls his secretary and says, "Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband and says, "Me and my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of yourself."

The husband calls his girlfriend and says, "My wife is going on a...

Trivial pursuit.

Years ago, I was playing Trivial Pursuit with my then girlfriend and the category was "Entertainment". Just as I asked her, her question - What was Whitney Houston's biggest hit of the 1980's? A masked gunman burst in & fired, hitting her in the chest before fleeing.

I rushed to her side,...

WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE THAT?

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.

Now, why can't you do that?"

"Gosh," Jack says...

DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.

She turns over and says, **"I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh."**

The husband sadly turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his ...

FEEL BETTER NOW

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, ha...

The Ultimate Facts

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they alway...

Rhyming Couplet

A local daily ran a competition around Valentine's Day asking for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and the least romantic second line.

Here are some of the best enteries:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you messed up my life.

I see your fac...

BE AFRAID IF YOU ANNOY THIS HUSBAND!!

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps and jostles the man's wife. Once across the st...

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(: COMPUTER DIAGNOSIS :)

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

*"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what...

NO BACKSEAT

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

"No!" yells the blonde.

Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well,...

New Baby Sibling

When a woman discovered that she was pregnant, her four-year-old son overheard his parents' conversation.

He didn't say anything until a week later when a family friend asked him if he was excited about the prospect of a new brother or sister.

"Yes," said the boy, "and I know what we'r...

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NEW OFFICE POLICY 2013 Dress Code

ALL EMPLOYEES

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manag...

A worried father confronted his daughter

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Rick's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month....

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