UPJOKE

Types Of Jokes

There are only 10 types of people

- Those that understand binary
- Those that don't understand binary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 types of orgasm...

Do you know that there are 4 types of orgasm… the Holy Orgasm, The Positive Orgasm, the Negative Orgasm and the Fake Orgasm.
The Holy Orgasm sounds like ‟Oh God, oh god…”
The Positive Orgasm goes ‟Yes, yes, oh yes, ”
The Negative Orgasm goes ‟no, no, oh no”
and the fake orgasm, the fa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are only two types of people worse than racists

The blacks and the jews

In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison...

Poison I, II, III, would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However poison IV would make you really itchy.

There are 3 types of people in the world; those who are good at math...

And those who aren't.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's two types of people in the world.

People who look good naked, and people who go to nude beaches.

There are 10 types of people in the world

The ones who understand binary and the ones who don't. And apparently eight more the guy wouldn't tell me about. Smug git

There are three types of people

the people who can count, and the people who can’t

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are 10 types of people in this world.

\- Those who understand binary

\- Those who don't

\- Those who didn't expect this joke to be in Base 3

\- Those who didn't expect this joke to be in Base 4

\- Those who didn't expect this joke to be in Base 5

\- Those who are pissed off at me right about now<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, how many types of boobs are there?

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, suprised, answers "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice and hang...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Names for different types of Golf shots.

There have been a number of humorous names for different types of golf shots, and I was wondering if anyone had heard of any more. Some examples:

Rock Hudson - A putt that looked straight, but wasn't.

Princess Grace - Should have used a driver, but didn't.

Princess Diana - Use...

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who thought they knew what the punchline would be, and those who are now searching for the original joke.

There are two types of countries,

Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.

Types of deodorant

I went to store and asked for some deodorant.

The cashier asked "Do you want the roll on ball type?"

I said "No thanks, I want it for under my arms."

There are two types of puns.

The great puns, which are great to hear, and the grate puns, which grate your ears.

Technology is dominated by two types of people:

Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you've been around as long as me… you'll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex; Two – bedroom sex;

then number three – hallway sex… when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f**k you.’

There are 3 types of people.

1. People who know how to make good jokes.
2. People who know how to make good lists.

There are 5 types of people in this word

Those who can spell, those who can count, and those who use reddit

In marriage there are 3 types of rings

The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The different types of people

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

A realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees 3 fucking idiots standing on the train tracks.

There are only two types of hair: public hair and pubic hair.

But that's one L of a difference.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are 3 types of olive oil.

Virgin Olive Oil

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

And Olive Oil with a questionable past

The butcher had over 20 types of cured cylindrical meat for sale.

I never sausage a selection.

There are 11 types of people

01- Those who understand binary

10- Those who don't

11- those who write bad jokes on binary

*I'll see myself out*

There are four types of posts on Reddit

Helpful,
Unhelpful
And misleading...

There are 3 types of lies

1. A lie

2. A damn lie

3. Statistics


Got told this by statistics professor yrs ago. Also bonus: 87.9% of statistics are made up.

There are 2.00000001 types of programmers in the world

Those who experience off-by-one errors, and those who experience rounding errors.

I divided two types of the LGBTQ into two sections...

There was the trans-section, and the bi-section.

I have a couple types of jokes

The ones that rub people the wrong way more times than not are my JonBenet Ramsey Jokes. They’re not jokes about her, they’re just my jokes that never get old.

They say certain types of people can resist a good click bait.

Apparently you aren’t one of them.

There are 10 types of people in the world.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four types of sex

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YO...

There are two types of comedy I enjoy:

Self-Defecating humor, and malaprops.

There are 2 types of people on this planet

Those who can extrapolate omitted data using existing data.

There are two types of people.

Some people only see black and white and refuse to acknowledge shades and complex non-straightforward situations, and the others... no, wait, I've changed my mind.

There are two types of candy

The good ones,
and the ones dad eats

What are the two types of weather in Islamic countries?

It's either Sunni or Shi'ite

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