This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've just watched the Alabama version of 'Back to the Future,'

Unlike his counterpart, this version of Marty McFly can't resist the temptations of his mother and ends up fucking her,

Then he travels back in time.

Trying to read multiple versions of The Bible at the same time is really difficult.

You have to do a lot of...cross referencing.

What’s the British version of propaganda?

A really hard look at something

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Censored version so it doesn’t get taken down again) Three men climb to the top of a tall mountain

Suddenly, it begins raining, therefore the three men won’t be able to get back down safely until the rain stops. Suddenly, a genie appears and informs the men that if they name an object, they will be able to jump off the mountain and land on that object. “Pillows,” says the first man. The man then ...

American version of Poems

All Around The Mulberry Bush
The Monkey Chased The weasel
the monkey stopped to load his glock
***POP!*** Goes the weasel.....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A literal version of 'your joke, but better': I got a tattoo of my girlfriend's name on my penis...

...in full, the tattoo says "FOR AMY" on it.

So I went to a bar, had a few drinks, went to take a leak, and noticed the guy next to me had "FOUR EARTH" tattooed on his.

I couldn't help but laugh and say to him "First off, you misspelled "FOR", secondly, you really think you'll get ever...

Whats the american version of a karate chop?

A Connecti Cut!

What’s the male version of a Karen called?

I don’t know but a group of them is called a Senate.

What will be the redneck version of Onlyfans?

OnlyFams!!!!

What do you call a female version of Iron Man?

Fe Male

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now that generic versions of Viagra are available, there are several low-cost options to treat erectile dysfunction.

Ask your doctor if coxaphlopin is right for you.

I bought audiobook version of Encyclopedia Britannica

It speaks volumes to me

Russia is considering banning the internet for most people, replacing it with a limited Russian propaganda version...

It will be called the InterNYET.

I was playing an updated version of Oregon Trail voiced by Terry Crews.

I made the comment that he wasn’t a good voice actor, and the game abruptly ended. Apparently, I died of dissin’ Terry.

Apparently they have increased the difficulty level of the "She sells sea shells" tongue twister in a newer version

The seller lives in Seychelles.

The three guys at an interview joke just posted here reminded me of another version we used to tell about 20 years ago.. is it a repost? I don't know, probably yes, but does anyone really care ;) ?

Three guys interviewing to be a detective.

The final step is with the chief inspector who says, "Ahh, so you wanna be detectives, eh? The first skill you need is perception, let's see how you guys do with that"

He calls them into his office one by one.

The first guy goes in and ...

The original script for Dr. Strange had an undead version of Wong battle with the living one. Ultimately they decided it didn't work.

Two Wongs don't make a wight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the ocean’s version of a porn site?

OnlyFins!

What's something a dentist can say but a gynecologist cannot?

I'm a dentist.


EDIT: Do not read the comments they are not very appropriate.

EDIT 2: Okay people seem to be making a different type of joke to my prompt so I've decided to attach an alternate version: >!I'm not a gynecologist.!<

EDIT 3: This post wouldn't have had to b...

Back in the 1980s the soviets had their own version of the American toy Stretch Armstrong. They modeled it after their hero, Karl.

The toy was called Stretch Marx.

What do you call an older version of a python program?

SenPy.

Who performed the Imperial Roman version of "Can't Touch This"?

1100 Hammer

Three men were flying in a small plane when the engine failed

To their disappointment, there were only two parachutes on board. After a couple of minutes of silence, one of the men said:

"Look, guys, I need to take one of the parachutes. I'm a single father with three children to feed."

The other two agreed and gave him one of the backpacks. The ...

I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office.

It improved my outlook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

The pharmacist said they only have the generic version of my laxative medication.

I said "I guess I'll have to make doo with that".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock (another version)

He puts him out in the yard with the rest of the chickens and the old rooster he's supposed to replace. The older rooster starts to bargain with the younger one: "How 'bout we split the harem 50/50," he says. The younger rooster isn't having any of it.

"OK, then let's have a race around the h...

There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

If baby grand pianos just smaller versions of grand pianos, shouldn't they just be called...

pianos?

What is you call the Mexican version of ISIS?

SISI

Drinking in IT terms

1 shot= Demo


2 shots= Trial version


5 shots= Personal edition


Half a bottle= Professional Edition


Full bottle= Network Edition


Two bottles= Small Business Edition


Five Bottles= Enterprise Edition


Whole case= C...

When matter gets chilled it's often slows down to a stop

Does this imply the existence of a super chilled out version of my dad that doesn't beat me?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw an ad for a generic version of Viagra

But it will be facing some stiff competition

According to Hesiod version, Orion was likely the son of the sea-god Poseidon and Euryale.

Orion could walk on the waves because of his father; he walked to the island of Chios where he got drunk and attacked Merope, daughter of Oenopion, the ruler there. In vengeance, Oenopion blinded Orion and drove him away. Orion stumbled to Lemnos where Hephaestus—the smith-god—had his forge. Hephaes...

Translated version

The math teacher was new to the elementary class so he just wanted to know how good are the kids in basic calculation. He picked a random student and started asking questions.
Math teacher : What's 2+2?
The kid opens 2 fingers in both his hands and counts and says "4 sir."
Math teacher : W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman visits her mother and tell her she's divorcing her husband.

The mother replies:

But why? Your husband is super kind, good looking and is a millionaire. You're living in a castle, you're driving a rolls royce, you even have butlers!

Yes mother, but he is obsessed with anal sex. Everyday ha wants to put it in my ass.

Before i met him my as...

The French version of Jaws finishes with the word FIN.

It's really inappropriate

Did you know Alabama's has its own version of Pinterest?

It's called pincest

What is the dog version of "if it fits I sits"?

"If it throws I goes"

whats the healthier sister version of a dad bod?

an auntie-body

An oldie but a goodie. [It's a version of an older joke]

On November 14, 1984, the United Nations sent out a survey to every country, asking "Would you please share your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey flopped pretty much everywhere.

In Africa, families were confused about what "food"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into a book shop and asks the assistant, "I heard there's a new book just out about living with a small penis. I'm not sure what it's called. Have you got it in yet?"

Assistant: "Yes, that's the one."


(Other versions have been posted but I reckon this is the right formulation...)

My girlfriend has two version of the Kama Sutra, the original and the Director's Cut. One time I asked her what the difference was.

Apparently the author is Jewish

Batman has designed a tuxedo version of his crime fighting costume so he can attend formal occasions.

It's a class action suit.

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed.

Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.

An enormously popular and beloved Pope, after a long reign, dies and, naturally, goes to heaven.

He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available.

The pope, having always loved the bible, decides that he wants to read all of the original records of God's communications with humanity before they were re...

When a kid says

When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today.

He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.