Graph Jokes

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis

I think he must be plotting something.

It has an ex axis and a why axis.

but I know where to draw the line.

That's where I draw the line

The plot was a bit predictable


And a little flat


Good special f(x) though

I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.

That guy’s a legend.

Theyre plotting something, I can feel it.

A plot twist.

I'm sure he's plotting something.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'
So Satan and Jesus... read more

What a plot twist

It had an ex axis, and a why axis.

They'll plot something sinister.

But graphing is where I draw the line!

Too much x-position

It had depression

Luckily he's made excellent sines of improvement.

Some would say it functions perfectly.

Then America peaked somewhere around the Rockies.

Her mood goes up and down within one period.

A parabolem.

I bet she is plotting something against me.

The plot was a bit scattered.

The plot thickens.

she was always plotting behind my back

But there was no plot.

The distribution was random.

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, “I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!”

Thats where I draw the line.





I’ll see myself out.

Because they're made out of graphite

I'm sick and tired of hearing about the deaths and serious injuries related to these vehicles. In fact, if you plot those terrible outcomes against speed and operator inexperience, you can see that those events are clustered in the top right corner of the graph.


In other words, this is a ... read more

He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph.

A psychiatrist is evaluating three new mental patients. He turns to the first one and asks, "How much is 3 times 3?"

The mental patient thinks and thinks. He racks his brain. Finally, after several minutes, he answers, "128!"

The psychiatrist turns to the second mental patient and asks... read more

Full disclosure: I saw this in yik yak thought is share it here. :)

Because he auto graphed it.

The bartender says to the bartender

“Welcome to my bar fellow bartender, what can I get you? Some bar food perhaps?”

To which the bartender replied

“I’ll have a steak bar the barbecue sauce.” Said the bartender

The bartender, a little offended that the bartender barred t... read more

You couldn't tell an asymptote from a hole in the graph

His wife and kids do everything to try and convince him that he’s not dead. They take him to a doctor and for months every day the doctor shows him charts, studies, graphs, and statistics showing that dead men do not bleed, and finally the man is completely certain that dead men do not bleed.
... read more

but graphing is where I draw the line!

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ... read more

A pirate walks into a bar with a small computer and monitor on his crotch. The bartender picks him out immediately and notices graphs and statistical functions appearing on the screen as the pirate walks up to him. When he reaches the bar, the pirate asks
for some rum.

The bartender says,... read more

IQ distribution graph