An eccentric dutch inventor whom invented inflatable shoes has died.

A member of the family said it was only a matter of time until he popped his clogs.

An eccentric billionaire's beloved pet hog was very ill...

...and his private vet was away so he had to find a last minute specialist. Vets from around the world sent word that they would come to his aid right away, jumping at the chance to look at the animal, thereby winning the rich old man's admiration and the huge bill that would come from top notch car...

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An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall so he called an artist.

An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall so he called an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business ...

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion...

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A rich, eccentric man owns a museum of giant, alphabet-shaped objects.

The grand opening is planned for soon. He's filled up most of his exhibits, but he's still looking for a final touch to the Q room. He puts up an online ad campaign and waits to hear back, delaying the opening until he can find a good Q. After about a month, he's about to give up and close down the ...

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An eccentric billionaire throws a lavish party...

Please bear with me as I heard/read this one years ago so I might not recall the details correctly:

An eccentric billionaire is throwing a lavish party with guests from all over the world. As the party is well under way he asks his guests to walk over to his Olympic sized swimming pool where ...

A man bought a bar

A couple years after running the place by himself, he noticed a stray puppy living in the alley behind it. He took the dog in and they became inseparable.

He named the dog Blackie and brought her to work with him every day. He taught her some bar tricks that the customers absolutely loved, e...

An eccentric professor brings a cloning machine into class to illustrate a difficult concept...

One student, gesturing to the demonstration, decides to reach out to his overachieving friend.
"I just don't understand what that thing does."
His friend, clearly bothered by the situation, snaps back, "that makes two of us!"

Before John was a traveling salesmen

Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..

It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he...

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The Length Contest

There was this contest for longest lengths on the human body made by an eccentric billionaire who would pay 100 dollars per centimeter on any length measured on a person.

Tall Guy: Measure me from my head to toe!And it measured 186cm, he gets 18600 dollars

Second Guy thinks he is smart...

Rich man shenanigans

There was once an extremely wealthy man who was known for his eccentric habits. One fine evening, he sent out an invite to all the young, able-bodied men of his city for a very "special" dinner, promising a grand prize for one lucky soul.

Knowing the rich man's generous nature, a hundred you...

A farmer is out in his field...

A farmer is out in his field planting seeds. Once he finishes, he makes arrangements to sell the farm and purchase some nearby land.



The other people in his small town are puzzled by this, but they brush it off as some eccentric behavior.



After purchasing the new land, ...

Did you know that if you put 10,000 monkeys in a room with 10,000 typewriters then....

...... you're a rich, eccentric weirdo who should be prosecuted for animal cruelty.

A man owned a sentient calculator

He would show it to people all the time, and tell them about the sentient calculator. He'd ask a question, and the calculator would give the answer, and every time it was the correct one. At first, people were excited, and they would demand to know what the trick was. A lot of theories, ranging from...

An architect

An architect storms into the CEOs office holding a towel to his bloody nose. "Good God, man, what happened to you!?" the CEO exclaimed.

"Sir, the lead architect on the Legend project just punched me in the face for questioning his designs, which frankly are impossible. Take a look." The ar...

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A judge is hearing Mickey Mouse's divorce petition.

After listening to his argument, the judge shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, Mr. Mouse. Your wife Minnie having an eccentric personality is not valid grounds for divorce, I'm afraid."

"Your honor," Mickey replies. "I didn't say she was eccentric, I said she was fucking Goofy!"

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I was at the 9th hole with my stallions by my side.

These two guys came up to me with a puzzled look.

"Are they yours?" they asked.

"They are indeed," I replied.

On the 11th hole they came up to me again.

"Are they following you around the whole way?" they asked.

"They are indeed," I replied.

On the 17th hole...

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A sign in the window of a bar advertised for a Piano Player...

...and one day a scroungy looking old guy entered the bar asking about the job.

The bartender was put off by the man's looks, but pointed him to the piano in the corner.

As the old man began to play, the room was filled with the most beautiful, melodious music anyone in the bar had eve...

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An old Italian man and his three sons...

NSFW (Best if delivered in an eccentric Italian accent with all the gestures)

So this old Italian man has 3 sons, 2 of them quite fat and 1 skinny.

He asks his first son "a-Mario! Why you-a so fat?" Mario says "oh but-a papa, I like-a the linguini!" His papa say "but-a Mario! You take...

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office

and told the receptionist she
wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist
suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster
to come into the office.

The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I
...

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A Man Walks into a Barbershop with a Big "Help Wanted" Sign

A Man Walks into a Barbershop with a Big "Help Wanted" Sign. He is quickly greeted by an eccentric and very talkative barber.

"Ah! Hello friend! Welcome to my barber shop. Let me sit you down and we can discuss the work at hand."

The barber sits him down in a worn leather chair and qui...

A Crocodile Tale

During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Australia...the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond...and swim to the shore.

Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with A$3 million...but if killed by the crocs...A$1 million w...

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The DOD was putting together a new special forces unit...

In response to rising global tensions the Department of Defense decided a new, elite top secret unit was needed. Recruits were assembled from the special forces units of all branches.

A panel of generals, high level intelligence officers and congressmen is formed to begin interviews. The firs...

A couple has a baby boy born without a body... (A Two-Parter)

***
Part 1
***
After years of trying to conceive, a couple finally manages to have a baby. However, the baby is born with only a head, with no body, arms, or legs. Despite the setback, the couple set out to raise their child as they would any other.

After ten years of challenging ch...

The moral of the story...

A rich, eccentric man wanted to invest his money, and keep it safe.

He decided to invest in antique furniture, but not just any furniture. He would buy the best and fanciest chairs that could be found only in the finest castles of the world.

He wanted to be sure his collection...

I have an uncle in Texas

He's a wealthy guy, made it big in oil. He recently decided to build a new pool for his house. Of course, being a Texan it couldn't be just any pool. He decided to build the biggest pool of anyone he knew. I don't know exactly how big it was, but it had to be at least a couple hundred yards long....

Christmas Decor

A woman asks her eccentric husband to provide some holiday decorations for their home. He eagerly heads out to town for decorations and returns several hours later. The wife returns from her errands to find something perplexing. In the corner stands a Christmas tree with only a few needles and on it...

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Medical Students

A group of first year medicals students are attending their first class. An eccentric looking lecturer walk in and says: "An important thing in medicine, is not to be fazed by what seems disgusting to the general public. Allow me to demonstrate" The lecturer brings a cadaver into the lecture theatre...

The Great Jamboni

The great Jamboni, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all his performances, escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Jamboni was taking off. It took the surgeons three hours to remove Jamboni’s head from his ass

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The Anti-English Irish priest

There was once an Irish priest named Father Patrick, full of passion and zeal, who hated the English. While his congregation just accepted it as part of his eccentricity, it started to make them uncomfortable when this bigotry seeped into mass.

It got to the point where a small group of them ...

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