Hopefully everyone delivering quads today sees their opportunity...

"May the 4th be with you"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What happened?

A guy runs into a friend and sees him full of cuts and scratches. So he asks, "What happened to you?"

"I fell from my motorbike."

"But you don't have a motorbike."

"Well I fell from my quad bike."

"But you don't have that either."

"Ok, I got into a fight with my gi...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A dwarf enters a competition to see who can lift Mjolnir.

Thousands of people try, but of course, fail. Then it's the Dwarf's turn.

Thor himself is in fact in attendance, and takes great amusement when he sees the dwarf waddle up to the hammer.

He squats down, grabs the handle, and using all of his power, lifts the hammer.

The dwarf lo...

What did the cubic function say to the second order polynomial?

Nice quads

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Heard this joke from a co-worker (who had recently moved from Kinsale, Ireland), and I present it to you.

The Boys are sitting around outside Dan Murphy's pub, having a few jars, when Will perks up with *"You know boys, my wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and the next day she gave birth to twins."*

*"Isn't that odd,"* chirps in Sean McNamara, *"My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and th...

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here?"... (It's not in bad taste.)

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here? Certainly I've changed the world for the better through an innovative technological revolution."

"That's quite true," says Satan. "You belong 'upstairs' and I'm only borrowing you for a few days. But see, whenever ne...

The phone rings...

"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot - he is dead."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
...

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