While waiting in line at the entrance to a museum, my 16-year old daughter ran up to my wife and me and said, “Mom, Dad! We need to get a line form!”

Confused, I said “A line form?” She said, “Yes, I think you have to turn it in right over there before you can go in.” She pointed to the entrance.

That’s when I looked and saw the sign that said “Line Forms Here”.

True story. Bonus facts: She’s now a brilliant NICU nurse so she r...

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Though he passed away decades ago, I really think my grandpa would have supported LGBTQ+ marriage in all of its forms.

His motto was "Fuck everyone.".

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A small business owner is filling out some forms for the government.

One of the questions asks: please list the employees you have, broken down by sex.

The man replied: None. Although a few do sometimes come in late.

I was thinking about how a persons conciousness forms and what happens to it when you die...

Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from consciousness Joe?

There are two forms of English

The queen's English and spelling mistakes

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

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Two rights make a wrong

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.

“In English”, he explained, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.”

“However,” the professor continued, “there is no language where a double positive can form a nega...

Research shows that facial tattoos completely eliminate certain forms of anxiety

For example, you'll never need to worry about finding a job

Hospital bill

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care ...

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Mike Tyson is a jerk

Alright, so Mike Tyson is kind of a dick. He treats all the people around him like shit. His friends, his family, etc. One day, he goes to a restaurant and just refuses to tip his waitress. Little does he know, the waitress was actually a witch. To get revenge, the witch conjures up a spirit to curs...

Being Kissed While You're Asleep is Purest Forms Of Love,

Not When You Live Alone.

Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

I tried to make a joke about identical frequencies and wave forms.

But it really separated the room.

I was expecting more coherence.

What do you call the moisture that forms between two lovers in Alabama?

Relative Humidity

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Do you have an email address?

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that...

There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s hard to keep track of.

Kind of.. Kung Fusing

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Scientist: My invention can creat matter in all three forms. Gas, liquid and solid.

My asshole: You know, I’m something of a scientist myself.

I went to pick up my tax forms and HOA application

Turns out that's not what they sell at the Adult Store at all.

A single zombie is scary, but a row of zombies forms something even scarier...

A deadline.

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