I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

All the characters in Harry Potter are so well-developed. Well, except Nearly-headless Nick...

He was poorly executed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as an inspiration when naming our kids.

Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think Rorschach was my least favorite character in Watchmen.

I mean, why would I want to watch a guy with pictures of my uncle's penis all over his face?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my wife to dress as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

I've developed a craving for strong female characters that I can't seem to knock. That's right...

I'm addicted to heroine.

What kind of book authors should never kill off any of their characters for drama?

Biographers.

Two marvel characters that lost their vision

1. Daredevil

2. Scarlet Witch

Bible characters on Tinder

What would the tinder profiles of Bible characters look like?

Example: Delilah - Philistine and feisty. Strong guys make me weak. I am an aspiring hairdresser

I needed a password eight characters long

So i picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Did you hear that the new Fast and Furious movie will only have one character?

The whole thing is Ludacris!

Who is the quirkiest fictional character?

All For One

I took a picture of a meteor shower that looked just like the main character from The Legend of Zelda.

Link in the comets.

A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likable.

It was an autobiography...

Which biblical character is the best at aerobics?

Pontius Pilates

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

The character of Nearly Headless Nick was a bit of a letdown in the Harry Potter movies.

In the books, he had so much more development, including an entire deathday party. In the movies though, he was just so badly executed.

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

What's a train's favorite Star Wars character?

Choochoobacca

How do Super Smash Bros characters talk to the dead?

Waluigi board



Get bamboozled

What Disney character can count the highest?

Buzz Lightyear, to infinity and beyond.

At the beginning of Naruto, the three main characters existed in a 'love square'.

Naruto loves Sakura, Sakura loves Sasuke, Sasuke loves nobody, and nobody loves Naruto.

Benedict Cumberbatch and his Marvel character have one thing in common...

Both of their last names are strange

Recently I found out that the 'r' and 'l' characters are the same in Korean.

I guess that explains why they like their elections so much.

You know who's the best character in the Game of Thrones show right now?

It *Varys*

Who is the cutest character on Dora the Explorer?

Benny, because he's a Dora bull.

(Thought of this all myself. I've reached full dad joke level here - please kill me.)

Who’s Jon Snow’s favorite character from “Cars”?

Lightning MuhQueen

Which fictional character would you totally bang?

your girlfriend

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

Going to the dentist is like those movies where a character gets interrogated violently.

It’s pretty clear to them when you’re lying — and if you don’t come clean, you might lose a tooth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Although I wouldn't say it's a major character flaw,

my premature ejaculation is certainly a shortcominng.

The media keeps trying to assassinate the character of Donald Trump and I think it is a waste of time...

You can't assassinate what isn't there.

Tim Cook joked about Trump getting his name wrong. Trump claimed it was fake news. Shows a lot about their character...

But that's comparing apples and oranges

All of the Undertale characters had a big orgy...

But nobody came.

Which cartoon character curses the most?

The Road Runner

Busrides are good for your character.

They keep you grounded

Why did all the characters try to get arrested?

They all wanted to be booked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a new exhibit at disneyworld that features statues of some disney favorite characters.

A tour guide is leading guests through the exhibit as they pass such favorites as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, as well as Pluto. As they're going through they pass a statue that's in the shape of a giant turd. Puzzled, one of the guests pipes up and asks the tour guide, "what's the d...

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do characters in books and movies always prefer walking or running down hills?

Because Rowling makes them gay.

Is Goose from Captain Marvel a good character?

You're flerken right he is.

Anytime I watch a Jennifer Anniston movie, it seems like she’s playing the same character.

She is a victim of Rachel profiling.

Which GoT character has the most handles?

King of the Andals.

What makes LGBT game characters unique from other characters?

they don’t shoot in a straight line

A larger-than-life character, Big Tony, walks into a bar.

Big Tony orders a drink. He bellows out, "when Big Tony drinks, everybody drinks!" The patrons of the bar all rush to get served their favorite tipple.

Then he orders some food. "When Big Tony eats, everybody eats!" Suddenly the kitchen is overwhelmed.

He places a twenty on the bar, an...

R2D2 is the most obscene character in film history

They had to beep out every word he said

People say that Rorschach from Watchmen is a great character.

But I don’t really know what people see in him.

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

Who is the most misogynistic Super Smash Brothers character?

Inceleroar.

You know who was the main character in the movie about drugs?

The heroin.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1, but it’s gonna take about 5 episodes.

Which Star Wars character is obsessed with cheese?

Boba Feta.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stan Lee wrote Tony Stark as a character with a sexual identity crisis.

He's all man, but likes to dress as FEmale

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] In Japan, Hello Kitty is a highly respected character

That's why they call it "Herro Kitty"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No matter what sexual role play idea my wife decides on, I always have to play the same character.

The husband who is out of town.

One of Roald Dahl's characters gained weight and started writing rap music.

Notorious BFG.

I sure like that my car insurance requires a 10 character password.

I sure would hate it if someone ..... paid my car insurance?

A woman sues a man for defamation of character...

A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig. The man is found guilty and made to pay damages.

After the trial, he asks the judge, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?”

The judge says,“That is correct.”

“And does it m...

Why is Spongebob the main character

When Patrick is clearly the star?

We should have an orgy with all the Dr. Seuss characters

Whos with me

Marvel kills half of your favorite characters

Nintendo kills %99.9 of them

I’ve always tried to hold my breath when a character is under water, to see if I could survive the situation

Finding Nemo was a tough one

What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?

They grow cubic hair!

How do you make love to a nursery rhyme character?

You hump-ty-dumpty

What is Donald Trump's favorite fictional character?

Wall-E

How many dragon Ball characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

.
.
.
One, but it takes 12 episodes.

*twisting slowly*
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

Where do My Hero Academia characters keep their Yu-Gi-Oh cards?

A DEKU box!

How can you tell if you're actually just a character in a Marvel movie?

At some point you'll randomly bump into Stan Lee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a job interview earlier today and the boss asked me, “What would you say is one of your biggest character flaws?”

I said, ‘Well I can be brutally honest at times.’ And the boss said, “No way! I think that’s a wonderful asset actually.”

And I said, ‘I really don’t give a fuck what you think.’

Man: "I've always had this absurd feeling that I'm a cartoon character"

Psychologist: "That's a rather unusual mental state... How long have you felt this way?"

Man: "Ever since I was an outline..."

A few numbers were on a field trip (dont mind my character choice)....

...when they stopped to admire the view and take a rest for a bit.

Four, being a good painter, decides to spend the break by painting some things. But instead of painting the view, he paints the beautiful pickup truck they have been riding on.

After he finished, he realized how well ma...

What's the difference between the Game of Thrones books and a Chinese newspaper?

To understand everything in a Chinese newspaper you only need to know about 3,000 characters.

Video Games need to start thinking outside the box when it comes to in-game character names...

I'm getting real sick and tired of always protecting some girl named Ally.

As a lover of ghostly evil characters I REALLY love my local D&D group

It's Wights only

Every time a character in a TV Show says “another round please” they’re immediately handed a drink by an attentive bartender.

But every time I do it all they say is:

“For the last time, I’m not a bartender. This is planned parenthood. You need to leave.”

Like okay! I get it I’m not rich and famous!

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

Why is there no black character in the game clue?

Because it would be called solved

Which character in Game of thrones has a healthy digestive system

Bran

What do you call a Disney character who just wants to take over the world?

Hegemony Cricket.

Some network jokes

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

...

My house is haunted by Nintendo characters.

I knew I shouldn't have fooled around with that Luigi board.

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