This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a guy, I refuse to play as a female character in online games.

Not because I’m sexist, I just don’t think it’s right to perpetuate the stereotype that girls are bad at games.

I needed a password eight characters long.

I went with *SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves*

What happens when a character breaks the fourth wall

The roof comes down.

Which Greek character is from alabama

Oedipus

What do you call it when you kill Disney characters?

A Mickey Mousacre

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

In most cartoons I watched, characters were able to come back from near death by having water splashed on their face.

On a completely unrelated note, I am no longer allowed at funerals…

How many of Shakespeare's characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to contemplate how a lightbulb is as mortal as any human, and one to spend the afternoon debating whether to murder his uncle.

What game character takes you to a website?

Link.

What gaming projectile was thrown by John Barrowman’s “Doctor Who” character to pass the time while he was traveling along the Congo River?

The Dart of Harkness.

Yo mama so stupid, her password requirement needed to be 8 characters long so she typed in

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".

A Mortal Kombat character walks into a store..

Employee: "Finding everything okay, sir?"

Character: "Yes, I'm just Lui Kang."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's your favorite one liner in 40 characters or less?

Want to embroider something fun into my jacket pocket, but only have 40 characters. As a big fan of stand up, was trying to fit a homage to my favorites with something from Mitch Hedberg or Demitri Martin in there... but alas, they're slightly too long. So figured I'd come to the experts here for...

What’s the Republicans’ most hated Sesame Street character?

The Count

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

Johnny Depp gets so immersed in his characters that I can never tell if its him or not...

I guess i have really bad Depp perception

who is gordon ramsay's favorite shrek character?

donkey

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a ...

I'm starting to not like the Middle East.

The plot's too confusing and I can't connect with any of the characters.

So, my Italian friend was asking what the character was on my Nintendo profile...

I replied: “It’s a Mii, Mario”

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

“Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

Wit...

Whats Bill Cosbys favorite disney character?

Sleeping beauty

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Angel 1 : "I just saw an important bible character playing with himself!"

Angel 2: "Jesus fucking Christ!"

Angel 1: "Yes that's what it was."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

My son Luke loves the fact he's named after a Star Wars character

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much

I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

Why do Amoung Us characters bottle up their emotions?

Because they get kicked out of the group when they vent.

A quarterback was being interviewed only moments before the start of the game. The reporter had 3 quick questions: "Your favorite pizza? Your favorite Star Wars character? Your favorite non-football activity?"

His answers were just as brief:

"Hut, Hutt, Hike!"

What Simpson's character does the best power points ?

Slideshow Bob

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hulk is the only bisexual marvel character

He smashes everything

What's the difference between Antony Hopkins' character in Silence of the Lambs and someone who taunted Jeffery Dahmer as he ate?

One's Hannibal Lechter and the other's a cannibal heckler.

My father told me that his password is "MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin"

Because he was told his password should contain at least 8 characters and one capital.

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

What do you tell an anime character that's turned into a pigeon?

Go Coo

Sven and Ole are two fictional swedish immigrants who live in Minnesota. They are characters used in jokes. I heard this one from my dad.

Sven is vacationing at his cabin in northern Minnesota and happens to get in line at a Dairy Queen.

An indian (native american) man approaches him and makes a proposition.

Indian Man: Hey I have a deal for you. I will ask you a riddle. If you can answer it I will buy you an ice cream, ...

What would you call it when you're watching a movie and you're friend tells you that the main character dies because they get hit by the back of a dragster?

A spoiler alert

I’ve been getting into typography recently…

It’s a real character-building exercise.

Who is the cleverest Disney character?

Gaston; he's the winner of the No-Belle Prize

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

My wifi password is Thorironmanhulkscarletwitchvisionhawkeyecaptainamericathanos.

I know that's hard to remember, but it had to be at least eight characters long.

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography…

Is it possible to write a book only using 2 characters?

Yes just have it revolve around 2 people.

All the characters in Harry Potter are so well-developed. Well, except Nearly-headless Nick...

He was poorly executed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gopal Bhaar and the best feeling

Gopal bhaar was a witty man, called on a lot by the king.
On a hot summers day, the Maharaja calls on his trusted advisors and ask them what the best feeling in the world is.

A lot of feelings go into the pool, happiness, orgasms, seeing your child being born, and so on.

When it co...

My friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character.

You should have seen the Luke on her face.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

Why did the blonde make her password "BatmanRobinBatgirlJokerHarelyIvyOslo"?

Because the rules said it needed to contain at least 6 characters and include at least 1 capital!

Is 'The Vampire Diaries' even a good show?

I heard the Characters suck a lot

If James Spader played a redditor in Blacklist, what would be the name of his character?

Raymond Redditon

My my wife said she was leaving me because of my wierd obsession with Marvel characters.

I said, please Yondu that.

Why are there no wheel chair characters in battle royal games?

Because it's last person standing wins.

A director wanted to make a movie about Batman, but sadly D.C. wouldn't allow him to film it.

He decided he would just make the movie anyway, but instead of using the character's real names he would take away the last letter of their names.

Batman became Batma and he fought crime with his trusty partners Alfre and Robi. The film then showed the dynamic duo and their butler fighting cr...

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

Who is Gordon Ramsays least favourite Dragon Ball character?

Frieza

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a man is feeling depressed and goes to his therapist for advice.

"I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like living anymore." he said.

The therapist responded brightly. "Well I know just the trick for that. You need to be more sexually active." The man looks at him, confused. "What especially works for me is banging my wife two to three times a week....

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

What kind of phone does an animal crossing character have

A nookia

Are we even watching the same movie?!

One thing I’ll never do again is watch a movie with a genius. You, me, us normal people, have a thing called suspension of disbelief. When we watch a Harry Potter movie we don't get lost when they shoot lighting out of their little wand. We're in, we get it. Magic. Got it! Light up the screen! I'm i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing an anime based on a character with lymphedema of the nutsack

It's called 'Dragging Balls eh?"

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(A character in a dream told me this joke) This dude calls his vet and says "My dog ate one of my Viagra and has had an erection for more than four hours, what should I do?"

The vet replied, "Did you try to manually induce ejaculation?"

The guy goes, "Yeah I tried but I couldn't get hard because my dog ate my last pill!"

Netflix writers have so many different shows to deal with...

They have trouble keeping all their characters straight.

Which fictional character i would totally bang?

My Girlfriend!

Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess...

...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.

Who's the best character in the Bible?

Noah, he has the best ark.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz is by far the greatest character of all time.

No one could hold a candle to him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caesar and Brutus are on sesame street

Count von Count asks Caesar, "Do you know how to count to one hundred?"

Caesar says "Yes, I will show you how!"

So Caesar starts counting "One, two, three..."

As the numbers get higher more and more characters are appearing around Caesar.

"Sixty- seven, sixty-eight, six...

I needed the best/worst password possible that was 8 characters long. Guess what I picked...

**"I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."**



Sorry I was *short* on time for this one!

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

What do you call a Dr. Seuss character with a medical degree?

Doctor Who

My first job was mending typewriters in a factory, boring job but...

The other employees where great characters...

which TV/movie character can use the power of the force and the power of potassium?

Bananakin Skywalker!

What is scooby's favorite DBZ character

Roku

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

Bible characters on Tinder

What would the tinder profiles of Bible characters look like?

Example: Delilah - Philistine and feisty. Strong guys make me weak. I am an aspiring hairdresser

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why they had such a long password, they rolled their eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

Passwords NSFW

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 90 days and has expired - you must register a new one."

roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...

Why is Spongebob the main character...

...when Patrick's the star?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.