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Character Jokes

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Because Nintendo's beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American

His superpower is healthcare

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a guy, I refuse to play as a female character in online games.

Not because I’m sexist, I just don’t think it’s right to perpetuate the stereotype that girls are bad at games.

The blonde's computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital

So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."

Who is your favorite sesame street character?

I like the Vampire, but he doesn't count

If a male video game character squats on a downed opponent it's called "Tea Bagging" when a female character does it it's called...

"Clam Dipping"

My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

SpongeBob may be the main character in the show…

..but Patrick is the star.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which character is the gayest video game character of all time?

Pacman — who eats 200 balls each game.

my friend got a face tattoo of his favorite Star Wars character

you should’ve seen the Luke on his face

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

“Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

Wit...

My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven
Dwarves.”

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

A woman sues a man for defamation of character...

A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig. The man is found guilty and made to pay damages.

After the trial, he asks the judge, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?”

The judge says,“That is correct.”

“And does it m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The popularity of Lightning McQueen racecar beds probably means that Lightning McQueen has been peed on more then any other fictional character.

He really does deserve the "Pissed In" cup.

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

I went to the temporary tattoo parlor yesterday and got a tattoo of my favorite cartoon character, Roger the Alien, but when I tried to wash it off later that night, it wouldn't come off!!

So I went back to the parlor to complain, and it was gone.

All the characters in Harry Potter are so well-developed. Well, except Nearly-headless Nick...

He was poorly executed.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hulk is the only bisexual marvel character

He smashes everything

Who is the cleverest Disney character?

Gaston; he's the winner of the No-Belle Prize

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar

im so sorry

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Marvel character Korg is canonically gay.

I’d guess you’d say the other gladiators are hitting rock bottom.

My friends asked me what’s my favorite fictional character

I said ‘my girlfriend’.

Whats Bill Cosbys favorite disney character?

Sleeping beauty

I was watching a horror movie and was screaming at the main character to not go through the door

My wife asks me from the kitchen what movie am I watching.

She wasn't thrilled when I told her it's our wedding tape.

What do you call a zombie Pac-Man character?

Wacca wacca waccing dead.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

Why don't Star Wars characters go to church?

They're scared of the *pews*

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

Which Greek character is from alabama

Oedipus

Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with?

Legoless.

In Hogwarts Legacy what do you call your character sorted into Ravenclaw while omitting the use of fast travel systems?

Stairy Potter

Researchers have discovered a lost Hemingway novel where the main character is trying to learn a computer language.

The Old Man and the C.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm surprised anyone's shocked by Natalie Portman's character development in Love & Thunder.

If I was fucked by Chris Hemsworth I'd be pretty thor too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are creative character writers so good in bed?

……because they really know how to pen a trait!

who is gordon ramsay's favorite shrek character?

donkey

I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it.

It’s really hard to Frodo

How do Halloween characters listen to their music?

Scare pods

I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was..

Apparently Bruce Jenner was "inappropriate."

What Star Wars character likes orange juice the most?

Emperor Pulpatine

What game character takes you to a website?

Link.

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

What happens when a character breaks the fourth wall

The roof comes down.

Which Game of Thrones character doesn't stink ?

Bran

He is Hodorless

What did the anime character say to the wookiee when it ate too fast?

Chew, baka!

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

What do you call it when you kill Disney characters?

A Mickey Mousacre

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so tired of all these "historically" based movies and books that change the characters' skin color to pander to the masses

Like, what's up with this Jesus being white bullshit.

I love it when the main character in a movie has a twisted back story...

Probably why 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' is one of my all-time favourites!

I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something about nearly headless nick

He was a very poorly executed character

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!

Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

What Simpson's character does the best power points ?

Slideshow Bob

What do you call a Super Mario character who likes to be both dominant and submissive?

A Nintendo switch

Daniel Craig was explaining why his character had grey hair for the first time ever in the franchise.

This comment has been overwritten and deleted forevermore by the user in response to the API changes June 2023.

The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick

is that he is a poorly-executed character

I like to hold my breath whenever a character goes underwater in a movie. That way I know if I'd survive if I were that character.

I was rushed to the E.R after Finding Nemo

How did the main character die?

He left his plot armor at home

What is scooby's favorite DBZ character

Roku

Who is Gordon Ramsays least favourite Dragon Ball character?

Frieza

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

Which cartoon character curses the most?

The Road Runner

My genitals can transform from one Toy Story character to another depending on how much I wash them

They go from a Woody to a Stinky Pete

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

M&M's Redesigns Its Characters' Looks and Personalities to Be 'Representative of Today's Society'

It's rumored the Yellow M&M is going trans and getting his nut removed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got done watching a show with unlikable characters, bullshit plot developments, and a depressing ending.

It's called "The News."

Who Is Jay Gatsby's Favorite Comic Book Character?

Deadpool.

Password audit

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Which character of Pokemon is a jew?

Ash

Busrides are good for your character.

They keep you grounded

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

How many of Shakespeare's characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to contemplate how a lightbulb is as mortal as any human, and one to spend the afternoon debating whether to murder his uncle.

Who is the cutest character on Dora the Explorer?

Benny, because he's a Dora bull.

(Thought of this all myself. I've reached full dad joke level here - please kill me.)

Some people say rolling for stats in D&D is old fashioned and unforgiving

But I think it builds character.

What do you tell an anime character that's turned into a pigeon?

Go Coo

Why do Amoung Us characters bottle up their emotions?

Because they get kicked out of the group when they vent.

What Disney character can count the highest?

Buzz Lightyear, to infinity and beyond.

What kind of phone does an animal crossing character have

A nookia

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

Why was the Nickelodeon character Avatar Aang so controversial?

He was trans-bender

How do you draw an Overwatch character?

You Tracer.

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

I have forgotten the names of all the characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

But Quasimodo rings a bell.

Which Star Wars character is obsessed with cheese?

Boba Feta.

What do you call a Dr. Seuss character with a medical degree?

Doctor Who

Is Goose from Captain Marvel a good character?

You're flerken right he is.

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