A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

“Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

Wit...

Whats Bill Cosby's favorite Disney character?

Sleeping beauty

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hulk is the only bisexual marvel character

He smashes everything

My friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character.

You should have seen the Luke on her face.

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I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Babes, **Jabba the Hutt** is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck you asshole" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

How many Marvel Characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but every couple of months another one changes the same lightbulb.

What kind of phone does an animal crossing character have

A nookia

Why are there no wheel chair characters in battle royal games?

Because it's last person standing wins.

My son Luke loves that we have named our children after Star Wars characters

My daughter Chewbacca not so much

My my wife said she was leaving me because of my wierd obsession with Marvel characters.

I said, please Yondu that.

What did the cartoon character say to his brother in law when he found out his wife was crazy?

You knew she was looney and a maniac...and you didn’t warn a brother?

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I'm writing an anime based on a character with lymphedema of the nutsack

It's called 'Dragging Balls eh?"

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

A man is driving around the backwoods and he sees a sign in front of an old, shanty style house that says - “Talking dog for sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog t...

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

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Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

You can't be trans and say that you're ugly

You're a customisable character

Which fictional character i would totally bang?

My Girlfriend!

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My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

Who's the best character in the Bible?

Noah, he has the best ark.

I think I'm going to kill off the main character in my new book

I hope it will spice up this autobiography a little

Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz is by far the greatest character of all time.

No one could hold a candle to him.

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

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I often wonder what hentai writers go through. They create characters who get fucked for about 20 minutes before they get scrapped.

Must get harder every time.

What is scooby's favorite DBZ character

Roku

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(A character in a dream told me this joke) This dude calls his vet and says "My dog ate one of my Viagra and has had an erection for more than four hours, what should I do?"

The vet replied, "Did you try to manually induce ejaculation?"

The guy goes, "Yeah I tried but I couldn't get hard because my dog ate my last pill!"

All the characters in Harry Potter are so well-developed. Well, except Nearly-headless Nick...

He was poorly executed.

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

An Act of Malicious Conpliance

Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.

Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end.

Why is Spongebob the main character...

...when Patrick's the star?

How many Amazonian fish does it take to kill a Frozen character?

Just one per Anna.

In light of the recent debates on whether Splash Mountain should remain the same or be remodeled after "The Princess and the Frog", let me give you some hints on which Disney movie I think it should be based on.

1. It's far from the most popular Disney film, but it definitely isn't without its fans.
2. It is notable for taking place in the Americas and featuring a mostly non-white cast.
3. One of the main characters of the movie is a selfish and lazy teenage prince who likes to party.
4. This princ...

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

A man asks an atheist if he had the ability to choose, which fictional character would he be

The atheist replied with " God "

which TV/movie character can use the power of the force and the power of potassium?

Bananakin Skywalker!

If cartoon characters become real, who would attract most women?

Pinocchio

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Porn movies are positive movies:

No murder,
No war,
No fight,
No conspiracy,
No cheating,
No racism,
No religious fanatics,
No language problem,
No crying or teasing,
Good cooperation,
Good coordination,
Natural acting,
Everybody enjoys the climax,
Lots of love,
...

Why was the Nickelodeon character Avatar Aang so controversial?

He was trans-bender

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was offered the role of the main character of a movie about an 18th century German composer?

“I’ll be Bach”

I needed a password has to be eight characters long.

That's easy - I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

I finally had an entire set of amiibos, except for one Zelda character.

It was my missing link

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar.

What’s the difference between Hallmark movies and Scooby-Doo?

One has formulaic plots, two-dimensional characters, and bad guys trying to close some kind of real estate deal, and the other has a talking dog in it.

What do you call a Dr. Seuss character with a medical degree?

Doctor Who

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

I like the Harry Potter books and movies but

I think the character of Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography…

My password is "snowwhiteandthesevendwarves"

because they said I needed 8 characters

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

I made a villager in my game out of bread

It's a naan-player character

What do you call a Nintendo character that looks like a minion?

Despicable Mii

Smart blonde, honest politican and grandma are walking into a bar

Who orders beer?



Grandma because other characters are fictional!

What’s the difference between Donkey Kong and Donald Trump?

One’s a savage, uncivilized monkey which is often seen wearing a necktie and the other is an iconic Nintendo character.

Why did the characters in Lost cross the island?

To get to the others' side

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Passwords

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 90 days and has expired - you must register a new one."

roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since translated jokes are becoming a thing now, I will(attempt) to translate a Turkish joke...

One day Temel goes to the local caffe with his friends. While playing games and drinking tea a Japanese dude walks in and says "Does anyone in here got the balls to beat me ?". After this Temel gets up and says "I do", then they both head outside. 5 minutes later Temel comes back with a broken nose ...

Jesus was walking through town one day

When he crossed paths with a Roman soldier. Feeling outgoing, Jesus put his hand up for a hi-five while passing by.

The Roman soldier had ill feelings towards Jesus' teachings and following. He couldn't stand the idea of supporting such a character so he simply grunted and ignored Jesus.
<...

Bible characters on Tinder

What would the tinder profiles of Bible characters look like?

Example: Delilah - Philistine and feisty. Strong guys make me weak. I am an aspiring hairdresser

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think Rorschach was my least favorite character in Watchmen.

I mean, why would I want to watch a guy with pictures of my uncle's penis all over his face?

Two girls are sitting in a bar

The one girl says: "Take my phone, can you please call my mother that I'll be home soon? I really need to use the bathroom now."

The other girl answers: "Sure, what is your password?"

"Snow White and all the seven dwarfs." the one girl replies.

The other girl frowns and asks: "S...

A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...

Famous Quotes from US Presidents

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” ― George Washington

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.” ― Thomas Jefferson

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ― James Madison

“Try and fail, but don...

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

Turkish joke translated in english

a day in a commercial flight, one british vampire, one french vampire and vampire temel (classic turkish funny character) are traveling.

after a while british vampire get thirsty, morph himself into a bat and flies away for few minutes and comes back with a bloody face.
french and temel as...

Who is the cutest character on Dora the Explorer?

Benny, because he's a Dora bull.

(Thought of this all myself. I've reached full dad joke level here - please kill me.)

Did you hear that the new Fast and Furious movie will only have one character?

The whole thing is Ludacris!

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

My Google password is "SnowWhite&the7dwarves"

Because it said I needed at least 8 characters, including caps, a number and a symbol

A man was tired of working as a burger-flipper at McDonalds.

All day every day he made Big Macs. And in his head he would list off the ingredients; Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickle and onion, on a seasame seed bun.

Over and over: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickle and onion, on a seasame seed bun.<...

I've developed a craving for strong female characters that I can't seem to knock. That's right...

I'm addicted to heroine.

What kind of book authors should never kill off any of their characters for drama?

Biographers.

What's a train's favorite Star Wars character?

Choochoobacca

The character of Nearly Headless Nick was a bit of a letdown in the Harry Potter movies.

In the books, he had so much more development, including an entire deathday party. In the movies though, he was just so badly executed.

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1, but it’s gonna take about 5 episodes.

I just cannot get into reading chinese fiction

There are just too many characters...

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