A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig.

The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?”

The judge says, “That is correct.”

“And does it mean that I can’t call a pig Ms. Harding?”

“No,” says the judge, “you are free to ca...

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

Daniel Craig was explaining why his character had grey hair for the first time ever in the franchise.

No Time To Dye

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

I have forgotten the names of all the characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

But Quasimodo rings a bell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a guy, I refuse to play as a female character in online games.

Not because I’m sexist, I just don’t think it’s right to perpetuate the stereotype that girls are bad at games.

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one but it takes 15 episodes.

I needed a password eight characters long.

I went with *SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are creative character writers so good in bed?

……because they really know how to pen a trait!

Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**

When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*

What happens when a character breaks the fourth wall

The roof comes down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

What do you call it when you kill Disney characters?

A Mickey Mousacre

Which Greek character is from alabama

Oedipus

How many of Shakespeare's characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to contemplate how a lightbulb is as mortal as any human, and one to spend the afternoon debating whether to murder his uncle.

In most cartoons I watched, characters were able to come back from near death by having water splashed on their face.

On a completely unrelated note, I am no longer allowed at funerals…

I never really liked Nearly Headless Nick in the Harry Potter franchise.

He was a poorly executed character.

Yo mama so stupid, her password requirement needed to be 8 characters long so she typed in

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".

What gaming projectile was thrown by John Barrowman’s “Doctor Who” character to pass the time while he was traveling along the Congo River?

The Dart of Harkness.

What game character takes you to a website?

Link.

What’s the Republicans’ most hated Sesame Street character?

The Count

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's your favorite one liner in 40 characters or less?

Want to embroider something fun into my jacket pocket, but only have 40 characters. As a big fan of stand up, was trying to fit a homage to my favorites with something from Mitch Hedberg or Demitri Martin in there... but alas, they're slightly too long. So figured I'd come to the experts here for...

Johnny Depp gets so immersed in his characters that I can never tell if its him or not...

I guess i have really bad Depp perception

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

“Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

Wit...

who is gordon ramsay's favorite shrek character?

donkey

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a ...

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

Halloween Joke

Bob thought his new neighbor across the street was strange from the moment he first moved in.  The new neighbor, Jack, was a dorky middle aged white man, who laughed at his own jokes, which he told repeatedly, and only talked about the stupidest stuff, which he always claimed was super popular on Re...

Whats Bill Cosbys favorite disney character?

Sleeping beauty

So, my Italian friend was asking what the character was on my Nintendo profile...

I replied: “It’s a Mii, Mario”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mario joke I heard for the first time today:

Mario is a Japanese character, so his family name could be Itsumi, or in Japanese name order…

Itsumi Mario

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

My son Luke loves the fact he's named after a Star Wars character

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hulk is the only bisexual marvel character

He smashes everything

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trumpeter

A trumpeter is hired to play two solos for a movie. After the sessions, he is paid handsomely and promised by the director that he will be notified when the movie is released to the public. Three months later, he receives a notice that the movie will make its debut in Times Square at a porno house. ...

Why do Amoung Us characters bottle up their emotions?

Because they get kicked out of the group when they vent.

Disney just tweeted that they wont be making new Marvel Universe movies, but the Tweet was cut short

Looks like they ran out of characters.

What Simpson's character does the best power points ?

Slideshow Bob

I'm starting to not like the Middle East.

The plot's too confusing and I can't connect with any of the characters.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

Who is the cleverest Disney character?

Gaston; he's the winner of the No-Belle Prize

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

A quarterback was being interviewed only moments before the start of the game. The reporter had 3 quick questions: "Your favorite pizza? Your favorite Star Wars character? Your favorite non-football activity?"

His answers were just as brief:

"Hut, Hutt, Hike!"

What's the difference between Antony Hopkins' character in Silence of the Lambs and someone who taunted Jeffery Dahmer as he ate?

One's Hannibal Lechter and the other's a cannibal heckler.

Sven and Ole are two fictional swedish immigrants who live in Minnesota. They are characters used in jokes. I heard this one from my dad.

Sven is vacationing at his cabin in northern Minnesota and happens to get in line at a Dairy Queen.

An indian (native american) man approaches him and makes a proposition.

Indian Man: Hey I have a deal for you. I will ask you a riddle. If you can answer it I will buy you an ice cream, ...

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography…

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

What do you tell an anime character that's turned into a pigeon?

Go Coo

My father told me that his password is "MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin"

Because he was told his password should contain at least 8 characters and one capital.

What would you call it when you're watching a movie and you're friend tells you that the main character dies because they get hit by the back of a dragster?

A spoiler alert

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

My my wife said she was leaving me because of my wierd obsession with Marvel characters.

I said, please Yondu that.

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

So MK11 is getting a new Australian character exclusive to the Nintendo Switch.

Roo Kang.

Because it's the ol'...

Why are there no wheel chair characters in battle royal games?

Because it's last person standing wins.

If James Spader played a redditor in Blacklist, what would be the name of his character?

Raymond Redditon

Who is Gordon Ramsays least favourite Dragon Ball character?

Frieza

My wifi password is Thorironmanhulkscarletwitchvisionhawkeyecaptainamericathanos.

I know that's hard to remember, but it had to be at least eight characters long.

What kind of phone does an animal crossing character have

A nookia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gopal Bhaar and the best feeling

Gopal bhaar was a witty man, called on a lot by the king.
On a hot summers day, the Maharaja calls on his trusted advisors and ask them what the best feeling in the world is.

A lot of feelings go into the pool, happiness, orgasms, seeing your child being born, and so on.

When it co...

Which fictional character i would totally bang?

My Girlfriend!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm writing an anime based on a character with lymphedema of the nutsack

It's called 'Dragging Balls eh?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young painter once had an old ladder

The ladder was one he’d found in a dumpster a few years before and, since he was poor and needed a ladder, he snatched it up and considered himself lucky. Over time, as he used the ladder on large murals, it would invariably be off-kilter, would not sit flush to the wall, or a rung would slip and ro...

Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz is by far the greatest character of all time.

No one could hold a candle to him.

What do you call a Dr. Seuss character with a medical degree?

Doctor Who

Her: Who's your favourite Muppet Show character?

Me: The vampire

Her: That's Sesame Street – he doesn't count

Me: I can assure you that he does

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(A character in a dream told me this joke) This dude calls his vet and says "My dog ate one of my Viagra and has had an erection for more than four hours, what should I do?"

The vet replied, "Did you try to manually induce ejaculation?"

The guy goes, "Yeah I tried but I couldn't get hard because my dog ate my last pill!"

Bible characters on Tinder

What would the tinder profiles of Bible characters look like?

Example: Delilah - Philistine and feisty. Strong guys make me weak. I am an aspiring hairdresser

If cartoon characters become real, who would attract most women?

Pinocchio

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.