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Troubled Jokes

A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it.

“Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week, he’s decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?”

The rabbi strokes his beard and says, “Funny you should come to me. I too, brought up...

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An Army major is assigned to a troubled base

After numerous reports of lax discipline and unruly behavior at a particular Army post, a major is assigned to take charge and straighten the place out.

He arrives and indeed, the place is a mess - nobody's shaved, beer bottles everywhere, grubby uniforms, unpolished boots. Outraged, the majo...

Troubled arm

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"

"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''...

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion.

So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture t...

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Troubled moth.

Moth flutters into a podiatrist office ..

doc: what be the problem moth?

Moth: I don’t even know where to begin... life suck , people really fuckin suck, I want to take my fully loaded and cocked 9mm n blow my god damn brains out.

Doc: whoaa! You’re troubled moth!! But why did...

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How can priests help troubled youth?

They give a holy fuck

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What is the difference between a troubled penis and the Economy?

The Economy gets going post stimulus

Many times when I am troubled or confused...

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka Martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.


This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"


And I heard the reply...

The two villages were troubled.

They were constantly being forced to search for other places to fish in the river. There was a massive bear that paraded the shores on both sides and this made fishing difficult for both villages that lie on opposite sides of the river.

Earlier there used to be a small pack of wolves that pa...

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Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition...

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's 18th birthday came 'round, he and his p...

What seem to be the trouble

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble

Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that

nobody can hear what I say.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now

Doctor: Se...

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There was a group of troubled teenagers bored in a small town.

There was a group of troubled teenagers who were bored in a small town. They egged their neighbor's house, TPed the one down the road, and just generally caused mischief but they were running out of original ideas to keep it fresh.

One of them decided to go down to the expressway overpass and...

A psychologist tells the troubled man:

tell me about your childhood.
man: it was a horrible time doc, I used to have a twin and everyone accused me for all the troubles he made.
psychologist: what did you do about it?
man: i had my revenge last week..
psychologist: how?
man: I died and they buried him instead.

I will admit that I was confused and a little troubled when that they changed the name for "Anime"...

But I must say that dispite the name change "Hentai" sure does get the job done.

A man goes to see his rabbi...

... "rabbi, I am very troubled. My son, he went off traveling the world, and came back a christian!" The rabbi replies, "you know, it's so strange you say that. My son also left home, and came back a christian!" The two decide to pray to God about this, and God replies, "you know, it's so strange yo...

Three people die and appear before Buddha

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forward a...

I painted a spider today while working on my shed and now I’m troubled.

It got away before I could give it a second coat.

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I wish all the best to the troubled guy jerking off to his collection of electric fragrant wax warmers.

I truly hope he cums to his Scentsies.

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