Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?

He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.

What do you call Dragon with no silver?

A dron

A dragon would never explode

But a dino might

Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Crew Dragon rocket

I guess the real joke will be in the comets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn’t the dragon get a boner?

He had a reptile dysfunction

How do you synthesize/summarise Dragon Ball into one word?

The answer is: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

What happens when you try to crossbreed a turtle and a dragon?

You get a crushed turtle.

Two Dragons walk into a Bar

One says "It's getting Hot in here"

The other "Shut your mouth"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say acid is a gateway drug..

But good luck getting to the fridge when there's a fucking dragon guarding it!

Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?

Because the early beard gets the wyrm

A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar

I should quit drinking

Did you hear the dragon's new diss track?

It was spitting fire.

My dragon is asleep

He's dragoff.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Overheard the neighbors kid

You're on a unicorn. Behind you there is a big bear, on one side a roaring lion, on the other side a charging elephant, and in front of you a dragon. How do you get out of this alive?

Get your drunk ass off the Merrygoround!!!!

Frieza from Dragon Ball Z gets a job as a medical receptionist

After a long day of fighting Vegeta comes into the Dr’s office to get some wounds looked at. As a new patient, Frieza directs him to fill out a hefty stack of new patient paperwork.

After some time, Vegeta brings his finished paperwork to Frieza only to be handed another stack of paperwork. ...

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?

They're impenetrable

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time there lived a ravishing Queen with huge tits..

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague,Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor.Horatio thought about...

Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?

He wanted to eat some chicken.

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

Did you know Rihanna plays Dungeons and Dragons?

She went 0-60 in 3.5

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1, but it’s gonna take about 5 episodes.

What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?

The money that you have to pay for therapy.

What do you call a drummer who can’t play in time?

A Russian dragon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boy asks, "Granny, have u seen my pills, they're marked LSD"

Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have u seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"

What do you call that friend who will always seize the opportunity to run a Dungeons & Dragons game for your group?

A Carpe D.M

What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?

One is eight nights while the other ate knights.

You think birds are scary?

Imagine Dragons.

How do you kill the ender dragon

You ender

An Imagine Dragons song is like syphilis.

Catchy, but not really good.

I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke...

But I don't want to let it dragon.

Did you know that LSD is a really effective weight loss drug?

How are you supposed to eat if there’s a dragon guarding the fridge?

Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?

Well imagine dragon these nuts across your chin.

How many dragon Ball characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

.
.
.
One, but it takes 12 episodes.

*twisting slowly*
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

It was my pet dragon's birthday today

We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.

This Zamboni operator skidded out of control into our Dungeons & Dragons meeting

Why he be all slidin into my DMs

What do you call a dragon with no silver?

a dron.



dr**ag**on (science joke)

I asked my karate instructor if I'd ever be able to do a dragon punch.

He said, "Suuuureyoucan!"

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?

A wyrmhole.

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?

They do it for the Experience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They call Mondays, "The day of dragon..."

Ass. The day of draggin ass."

Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon...

But mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do y'know there's Dragon Ball Z smut?

Kamehameha Sutra

How do you get dragon milk?

Find a cow with no back legs

Do you know why the Reddit Dragon is yellow?

It's got bananas for scales

A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.

He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dragon catches three men

A German, a Japanese and a Russian. Tells them he'll give them a chance to live if they survive his fire blow. They can also hide behind one object.

German goes first and decides to hide behind a steel plate, claiming he believes in manufacturing and quality of products. Dragon blows at him a...

2 dragons walk into a bar

One goes, "it's hot in here."

The other responds, "shut your mouth."


Originally by Jimmy Carr (I think, he may have stolen it)

Probably a repost, but reddit search is useless.

I have an amazing joke about Dragon Ball Z.

Find out tomorrow on R/jokes!

Knight vs dragon

A knight is fighting a dragon. He cuts its head, but the dragon grows two new heads. The knight cuts them, but the dragon grows 4 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 8 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 16 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 32 heads. The knight cuts t...

Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?

He couldn't yet spit hot fire

Why are dragons so good at rapping?

Because they're always spitting fire.

Imagine Dragons is doing a concert in Washington DC

They start singing Believer... "First things first I'ma say all the words inside my head"

"Challenge accepted" Donald Trump replies

Why are dragons such good story tellers?

Because they have long tails

I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.

I call it "Book Club"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They're coming out with a Dragon Ball Z for old people.

It's called Draggin' Balls Z

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George and the Dragon

A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and...

Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?

It'll melt your heart.

What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made my front yard into a cemetery for Halloween... then my neighbor put a fog breathing dragon on his roof.

I told him if he wanted a dick measuring contest he could have asked his wife.

What is a European dragon’s favorite food?

Swiss charred.

After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...

Because I'm Dragon Ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend told me this one

A boy goes to his grandma and asks,” gran , have you seen my pills , they’re labelled LSD?” The grandma replies,” fuck the pills what about the dragons in the kitchen !!!”

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I didn't understand why the doctor prescribed me LSD for my constipation....

...until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

What's a dragon's favorite snack?

Fire Crackers!

My girlfriend smokes a lot, i call her the Dragon

Because she doesn't exist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a kingdom, a long, long time ago. where a dragon would eat the virgins of the land.

Then one wonderful day, a hero came to the kingdom. The leader told the hero of their predicament. He told him that every day, the dragon would take a few virgins to his cave to eat. The hero said that he will save the kingdom, and take care of the dragon.


After two weeks, the dragon star...

A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...

During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife ...

A long time ago...

For many years, a small indian village had been mistreated by a great fire breathing dragon. All the villages were too scared to even leave their houses at night, that was except for a young man named Urkake.

Urkake was a fearless fighter who swore to the village that he would slay the drago...

Quality assurance engineer walks into a bar...

He orders 1 beer.
Then he orders 2 beers.
Then he orders 9999999 beers.
Then he orders -1 beer.
Then he orders a dragon.
Then he asks to buy a jdhdjsbeh

Another customer walks in, asks where the bathroom is. The bar collapses and kills everyone inside

What do Bruce Lee and the Donkey from Shrek have in common?

They have both entered the dragon.

A fun story about Dungeons and Dragons

I remember reading this great story, goes somewhere along these lines:

The party is traveling on a mountain in a blizzard, and every member rolls to see if they fall from the cliff. A dwarf warrior doesn't pass the check due to his armor, and falls.

DM: You fall from the cliff but hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are dragons gay?

All the hot knights they blow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kill the Dragon

An evil and powerful dragon lives near a village.
It eats a virgin from the village every week.
No one can defeat it.

One day a hero comes and attempts to kill the dragon.
He finds that the dragon is too power to be defeated.
He decides to kill the dragon with intelligen...

Getting real sick of all the Dragon Ball Z references...

Just Saiyan...

The reptile race

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were p...

A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town.

The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze.

Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths...

I was invited to go play Dungeons and Dragons. I was told i needed to pick a race and a class for my character

So I picked white and middle. Apparently that's not how its played, but I just think they know I'd win

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