Two Dragons walk into a bar

Dragon 1: It's hot in here

Dragon 2: Shut your mouth

Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?

He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.

What do you call Dragon with no silver?

A dron

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

A dragon would never explode

But a dino might

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The Queens Breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.



Nick, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.



One day Nick revealed his secret ...

Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?

Because the early beard gets the wyrm

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Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?

They're impenetrable

Did you know Rihanna plays Dungeons and Dragons?

She went 0-60 in 3.5

Frieza from Dragon Ball Z gets a job as a medical receptionist

After a long day of fighting Vegeta comes into the Dr’s office to get some wounds looked at. As a new patient, Frieza directs him to fill out a hefty stack of new patient paperwork.

After some time, Vegeta brings his finished paperwork to Frieza only to be handed another stack of paperwork. ...

(OC) Once, back the days of dragons...

Once back in the days of knights and dragons there was a mountain to which people would travel from leagues around.

At the summit of this mountain was a magic cradle which would heal the illness of any child placed in it, but only if the child's parent would then roll up into a ball and tumbl...

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1, but it’s gonna take about 5 episodes.

Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?

He wanted to eat some chicken.

What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?

The money that you have to pay for therapy.

What do you call a dragon with no silver?

a dron.



dr**ag**on (science joke)

Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?

Well imagine dragon these nuts across your chin.

I asked my karate instructor if I'd ever be able to do a dragon punch.

He said, "Suuuureyoucan!"

An Imagine Dragons song is like syphilis.

Catchy, but not really good.

How do you kill the ender dragon

You ender

A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.

He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.

Why couldn't the dragon be a fireman?

Because dragons aren't real

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My friend told me this one

A boy goes to his grandma and asks,” gran , have you seen my pills , they’re labelled LSD?” The grandma replies,” fuck the pills what about the dragons in the kitchen !!!”

Do you know why the Reddit Dragon is yellow?

It's got bananas for scales

What do you call that friend who will always seize the opportunity to run a Dungeons & Dragons game for your group?

A Carpe D.M

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?

A wyrmhole.

This Zamboni operator skidded out of control into our Dungeons & Dragons meeting

Why he be all slidin into my DMs

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?

One is eight nights while the other ate knights.

After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...

Because I'm Dragon Ass

It was my pet dragon's birthday today

We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.

Did you know that LSD is a really effective weight loss drug?

How are you supposed to eat if there’s a dragon guarding the fridge?

I was reading a story about dragons the other day

It just seemed to DRAG ON and on

How do you get dragon milk?

Find a cow with no back legs

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Do y'know there's Dragon Ball Z smut?

Kamehameha Sutra

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?

They do it for the Experience.

How many dragon Ball characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

.
.
.
One, but it takes 12 episodes.

*twisting slowly*
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town.

The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze.

Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths...

I have an amazing joke about Dragon Ball Z.

Find out tomorrow on R/jokes!

In the ancient village of Gennemill, there lived the Trids...

The Trids were a happy folk, mostly due to their vast riches. They weren't known for being warriors, or for being artists, or for their architecture, but simply because they had the most gold, an entire mountain of it infact. But one day the powerful dragon, Sorial, swooped down on Gennemill and ove...

Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon...

But mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.

The reptile race

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were p...

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I made my front yard into a cemetery for Halloween... then my neighbor put a fog breathing dragon on his roof.

I told him if he wanted a dick measuring contest he could have asked his wife.

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[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

Imagine Dragons is doing a concert in Washington DC

They start singing Believer... "First things first I'ma say all the words inside my head"

"Challenge accepted" Donald Trump replies

2 dragons walk into a bar

One goes, "it's hot in here."

The other responds, "shut your mouth."


Originally by Jimmy Carr (I think, he may have stolen it)

Probably a repost, but reddit search is useless.

Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?

He couldn't yet spit hot fire

Knight vs dragon

A knight is fighting a dragon. He cuts its head, but the dragon grows two new heads. The knight cuts them, but the dragon grows 4 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 8 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 16 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 32 heads. The knight cuts t...

I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.

I call it "Book Club"

What do Bruce Lee and the Donkey from Shrek have in common?

They have both entered the dragon.

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A dragon catches three men

A German, a Japanese and a Russian. Tells them he'll give them a chance to live if they survive his fire blow. They can also hide behind one object.

German goes first and decides to hide behind a steel plate, claiming he believes in manufacturing and quality of products. Dragon blows at him a...

Why are dragons so good at rapping?

Because they're always spitting fire.

Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?

It'll melt your heart.

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I didn't understand why the doctor prescribed me LSD for my constipation....

...until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

A guy inherits a fortune...

A guy inherits a fortune and goes on a massive spending spree: Ferraris, yachts, private jets, the works.

He upgrades his wardrobe and goes to the most exclusive shops for bespoke outfits. When it comes time to get shoes, he wants something a little different.

The salesman shows him a ...

A long time ago...

For many years, a small indian village had been mistreated by a great fire breathing dragon. All the villages were too scared to even leave their houses at night, that was except for a young man named Urkake.

Urkake was a fearless fighter who swore to the village that he would slay the drago...

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They're coming out with a Dragon Ball Z for old people.

It's called Draggin' Balls Z

Quality assurance engineer walks into a bar...

He orders 1 beer.
Then he orders 2 beers.
Then he orders 9999999 beers.
Then he orders -1 beer.
Then he orders a dragon.
Then he asks to buy a jdhdjsbeh

Another customer walks in, asks where the bathroom is. The bar collapses and kills everyone inside

Me: Grandma are you on LSD?!

Grandma: Forget the Drugs! Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

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George and the Dragon

A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and...

Why are dragons such good story tellers?

Because they have long tails

What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming

What is a European dragon’s favorite food?

Swiss charred.

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

A group of adventurers embarks on a quest

"DragonFlameKing", who is the highest level in the party, gathers the others before they begin the quest to discuss strategies and check their supplies.

-Alright, gear and equipments look fine so hear me out for a little bit. This quest is not too demanding but it's still hard. I am a Juggern...

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I realised today that as a straight male in my mid twenties, having been single for multiple years and surrounded myself with other men, I'd never taken the opportunity to take part in the tossing and rolling they did together behind closed doors. My older neighbor told me about it in 2nd grade and

I was fascinated by how far it broke from the concepts of "normalcy" I had been brought up with. He said they'd go for hours exploring with eachother, never leaving the room. Sometimes in middle school I'd walk by a class in the hall and hear a group of them grunting and huffing, occasionally lettin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old one, but I've never seen it on this sub...

A man is brought before an American court on charges that he killed and ate a bald eagle. "This is a serious crime," says the judge. "What do you have to say in your defense?"



"Your honor, please!" the man begs, "Have some mercy on me. I was trapped in the wilderness for days. I s...

What's a dragon's favorite snack?

Fire Crackers!

My girlfriend smokes a lot, i call her the Dragon

Because she doesn't exist

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There was once a kingdom, a long, long time ago. where a dragon would eat the virgins of the land.

Then one wonderful day, a hero came to the kingdom. The leader told the hero of their predicament. He told him that every day, the dragon would take a few virgins to his cave to eat. The hero said that he will save the kingdom, and take care of the dragon.


After two weeks, the dragon star...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dwarf whose testicles touch the ground?

Dragon Balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are dragons gay?

All the hot knights they blow.

A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...

During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife ...

A fun story about Dungeons and Dragons

I remember reading this great story, goes somewhere along these lines:

The party is traveling on a mountain in a blizzard, and every member rolls to see if they fall from the cliff. A dwarf warrior doesn't pass the check due to his armor, and falls.

DM: You fall from the cliff but hav...

I was invited to go play Dungeons and Dragons. I was told i needed to pick a race and a class for my character

So I picked white and middle. Apparently that's not how its played, but I just think they know I'd win

What happens when Smaug gets a cold and coughs up a hobbit?

He becomes Dragon Ball Wheeze.

Getting real sick of all the Dragon Ball Z references...

Just Saiyan...

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Kill the Dragon

An evil and powerful dragon lives near a village.
It eats a virgin from the village every week.
No one can defeat it.

One day a hero comes and attempts to kill the dragon.
He finds that the dragon is too power to be defeated.
He decides to kill the dragon with intelligen...

What do you call a lady

What do you call a lady with one leg?

*Ilene*

What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg?

*Irene*

What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs?

*Dragon Lips*

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