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My friend told me this one

A boy goes to his grandma and asks,” gran , have you seen my pills , they’re labelled LSD?” The grandma replies,” fuck the pills what about the dragons in the kitchen !!!”

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

What do you call a dragon with no silver?

a dron.



dr**ag**on (science joke)

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Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?

They're impenetrable

Did you know Rihanna plays Dungeons and Dragons?

She went 0-60 in 3.5

After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...

Because I'm Dragon Ass

Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?

He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.

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The Queens Breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.



Nick, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.



One day Nick revealed his secret ...

(OC) Once, back the days of dragons...

Once back in the days of knights and dragons there was a mountain to which people would travel from leagues around.

At the summit of this mountain was a magic cradle which would heal the illness of any child placed in it, but only if the child's parent would then roll up into a ball and tumbl...

Frieza from Dragon Ball Z gets a job as a medical receptionist

After a long day of fighting Vegeta comes into the Dr’s office to get some wounds looked at. As a new patient, Frieza directs him to fill out a hefty stack of new patient paperwork.

After some time, Vegeta brings his finished paperwork to Frieza only to be handed another stack of paperwork. ...

In the ancient village of Gennemill, there lived the Trids...

The Trids were a happy folk, mostly due to their vast riches. They weren't known for being warriors, or for being artists, or for their architecture, but simply because they had the most gold, an entire mountain of it infact. But one day the powerful dragon, Sorial, swooped down on Gennemill and ove...

The reptile race

There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were p...

What do you call Dragon with no silver?

A dron

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town.

The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze.

Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths...

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Do y'know there's Dragon Ball Z smut?

Kamehameha Sutra

Did you know that LSD is a really effective weight loss drug?

How are you supposed to eat if there’s a dragon guarding the fridge?

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I realised today that as a straight male in my mid twenties, having been single for multiple years and surrounded myself with other men, I'd never taken the opportunity to take part in the tossing and rolling they did together behind closed doors. My older neighbor told me about it in 2nd grade and

I was fascinated by how far it broke from the concepts of "normalcy" I had been brought up with. He said they'd go for hours exploring with eachother, never leaving the room. Sometimes in middle school I'd walk by a class in the hall and hear a group of them grunting and huffing, occasionally lettin...

Me: Grandma are you on LSD?!

Grandma: Forget the Drugs! Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

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My doctor prescribed me LSD for my constipation.

I had no idea how that was going to work until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?

Well imagine dragon these nuts across your chin.

A group of adventurers embarks on a quest

"DragonFlameKing", who is the highest level in the party, gathers the others before they begin the quest to discuss strategies and check their supplies.

-Alright, gear and equipments look fine so hear me out for a little bit. This quest is not too demanding but it's still hard. I am a Juggern...

I asked my karate instructor if I'd ever be able to do a dragon punch.

He said, "Suuuureyoucan!"

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?

A wyrmhole.

A guy inherits a fortune...

A guy inherits a fortune and goes on a massive spending spree: Ferraris, yachts, private jets, the works.

He upgrades his wardrobe and goes to the most exclusive shops for bespoke outfits. When it comes time to get shoes, he wants something a little different.

The salesman shows him a ...

Two Dragons walk into a bar

One says to the other one, "It's hot in here."

The other one says, "Well then shut your mouth!"

Do you know why the Reddit Dragon is yellow?

It's got bananas for scales

How do you get dragon milk?

Find a cow with no back legs

What do Bruce Lee and the Donkey from Shrek have in common?

They have both entered the dragon.

How do you kill the ender dragon

You ender

An Imagine Dragons song is like syphilis.

Catchy, but not really good.

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

What happens when Smaug gets a cold and coughs up a hobbit?

He becomes Dragon Ball Wheeze.

A long time ago...

For many years, a small indian village had been mistreated by a great fire breathing dragon. All the villages were too scared to even leave their houses at night, that was except for a young man named Urkake.

Urkake was a fearless fighter who swore to the village that he would slay the drago...

This Zamboni operator skidded out of control into our Dungeons & Dragons meeting

Why he be all slidin into my DMs

It was my pet dragon's birthday today

We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.

Using the latest animated film to potty train my son...

How to drain your dragon.

Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?

They do it for the Experience.

Why couldn't the dragon be a fireman?

Because dragons aren't real

A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.

He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.

I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019

I hate when TV shows dragon too long.

Quality assurance engineer walks into a bar...

He orders 1 beer.
Then he orders 2 beers.
Then he orders 9999999 beers.
Then he orders -1 beer.
Then he orders a dragon.
Then he asks to buy a jdhdjsbeh

Another customer walks in, asks where the bathroom is. The bar collapses and kills everyone inside

What do you call a lady

What do you call a lady with one leg?

*Ilene*

What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg?

*Irene*

What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs?

*Dragon Lips*

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What do you call a dwarf whose testicles touch the ground?

Dragon Balls.

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A boy comes home and finds his grandma in the living room, sitting down. He asks her "hey, grandma...have you seen my pills? they say LSD on them.”

The grandma looks at the boy and says "fuck that, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?"

What do you call the act of giving annalingus on the back of a flying dragon?

A Skyrimjob

The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss

It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...

The Wong Brothers

In ancient China lived the Wong brothers, three wise men who studied the arts of magic. Wong Wan could create beautiful tapestries with the tiniest bit of thread, and Wong Tsu could miraculously make crops grow in barren soil. Wong Lee, however, was much more sinister than his brothers. His magic co...

What's a Dragon Ball fan's favourite food?

Vegeta-bles

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