Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?

He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.

A dragon would never explode

But a dino might

What do you call Dragon with no silver?

A dron

How do you ruin a dragon's birthday party?

Tell him to blow out the candles on his cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen's breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.


Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn’t the dragon get a boner?

He had a reptile dysfunction

History is a lot like Imagine Dragons...

It's repetitive, never really good, and somehow only getting worse.

What’s a tired dragon’s favorite steak?

Flaming yawn

A Dungeons and Dragons Joke about the most fearsome of foes: Furniture

The barkeep asked why we carried weapons into his bar.

I said ‘Mimics.’

The party laughed.

The barkeep laughed.

The table laughed.

We killed the table. Good times.

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.

It wasn't a great day at the zoo.

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Early one morning, you pull down your favourite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.

Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.

After a week of repeating this process you make...

Two dragons walk into a bar. One says to the other "It's hot in here"

The other replies "shut your mouth"

[joke about Minecraft] Why can’t the Ender Dragon read a book?

Because she always starts at the End.

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1, but it’s gonna take about 5 episodes.

Why do dragons sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dragon appears and burns down a village...

...so the inhabitants of the another village across the river plead with Sir Roland, a mighty knight, to come and slay the beast.

Sir Roland dons his best plate, arms himself with his finest weapons, and rides out to battle the dragon. He comes to the area where the beast was last seen, and f...

What did the komodo dragon mumma say to her hatchling?

You were a snaccident!

Who is Gordon Ramsays least favourite Dragon Ball character?

Frieza

A tramp, seeking shelter on a freezing night, knocks on George and the Dragon Inn. A hefty lady answers the door and her expletives send him scampering. Desperate, he tries again minutes later.

"May... may I speak to George, please?"

What happens when a dragon gets bored of strip steaks?

Flaming Yawn

Why were dragons called rappers during ancient times?

Because they used to spit fire.

How do you synthesize/summarise Dragon Ball into one word?

The answer is: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Why do dragons like knights?

The come with their own pans.

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A hero comes to a village...

The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. ‟There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it’ll come down and eat one of our virgin girls” the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

Q: How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON DRAGONBALL Z!

Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Crew Dragon rocket

I guess the real joke will be in the comets.

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Two old guys chatting.

First guy: The wife and I fuck like rabbits every night.

Second guy: You lucky bastard, I get it once a month, and I call it the Bruce Lee night.

First guy: Why the fuck do you call it that for?

Second guy: Because it's the night I enter the dragon.

A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar

I should quit drinking

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?

One is eight nights while the other ate knights.

Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?

Because the early beard gets the wyrm

Have you ever seen ....

I've been saving these to send to my grandsons. The more the merrier - feel free to add your own.

A horse *fly*?

A goldfish *bowl*?

A shoe *box*?

A floor *mop*?

A cat *fish*?

A spelling *bee*?

A chimney *sweep*?

A chicken *strip*?

A monk...

Cannot get milk for my coffee, in space.

Once their Crew Dragon craft made it to safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. Well, a pouch of coffee anyway. Still, it was coffee, and thanks to SpaceX's desire to make space trave...

My dragon is asleep

He's dragoff.

Did you hear the dragon's new diss track?

It was spitting fire.

Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?

He wanted to eat some chicken.

What happens when you try to crossbreed a turtle and a dragon?

You get a crushed turtle.

What’s the most common reptile found in your toilet?

Commodo dragon...

Frieza from Dragon Ball Z gets a job as a medical receptionist

After a long day of fighting Vegeta comes into the Dr’s office to get some wounds looked at. As a new patient, Frieza directs him to fill out a hefty stack of new patient paperwork.

After some time, Vegeta brings his finished paperwork to Frieza only to be handed another stack of paperwork. ...

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Dressed in sex costume for my wife

She said "you wearing a dragon costume is not a sexual fantasy"

I handed her a donkey costume and said "Yeah baby!"

Disappointed that the purchased LSD has no effect,

Ivan sat on his dragon and flew away.

How many dragon Ball characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

.
.
.
One, but it takes 12 episodes.

*twisting slowly*
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?

They're impenetrable

Did you know Rihanna plays Dungeons and Dragons?

She went 0-60 in 3.5

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

What do you call that friend who will always seize the opportunity to run a Dungeons & Dragons game for your group?

A Carpe D.M

(OC) Once, back the days of dragons...

Once back in the days of knights and dragons there was a mountain to which people would travel from leagues around.

At the summit of this mountain was a magic cradle which would heal the illness of any child placed in it, but only if the child's parent would then roll up into a ball and tumbl...

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Boy asks, "Granny, have u seen my pills, they're marked LSD"

Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have u seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"

How do you kill the ender dragon

You ender

A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.

He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since translated jokes are becoming a thing now, I will(attempt) to translate a Turkish joke...

One day Temel goes to the local caffe with his friends. While playing games and drinking tea a Japanese dude walks in and says "Does anyone in here got the balls to beat me ?". After this Temel gets up and says "I do", then they both head outside. 5 minutes later Temel comes back with a broken nose ...

There was a dragon called Ted

Ted dropped out of school and rarely ever drank water. In fact, his dealer grew concern for him so everytime Ted went to buy his product, he'd ask Ted to drink a bottle of water first. Ted thought nothing of this until one day, curiosity got the better of him.

"Hey, why do you always want me ...

I have an amazing joke about Dragon Ball Z.

Find out tomorrow on R/jokes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four wizards are walking through a forest...

Four wizards are walking through a forest.

A water wizard, an earth wizard, a fire wizard, and an air wizard.

Suddenly they find a dragon.

In order to defend themselves they try to scare it off

The water wizard creates a giant tsunami and launches it at the dragon, bu...

Not properly prescripted

- Granny, have you seen my pills? They are oval shaped with the initials "LSD" engraved on 'em.

- F*ck them, darling! Can't you see there is a dragon in our kitchen?!

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George and the Dragon

A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dragon catches three men

A German, a Japanese and a Russian. Tells them he'll give them a chance to live if they survive his fire blow. They can also hide behind one object.

German goes first and decides to hide behind a steel plate, claiming he believes in manufacturing and quality of products. Dragon blows at him a...

What do you call a dragon with no silver?

a dron.



dr**ag**on (science joke)

How do you get dragon milk?

Find a cow with no back legs

I asked my karate instructor if I'd ever be able to do a dragon punch.

He said, "Suuuureyoucan!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do y'know there's Dragon Ball Z smut?

Kamehameha Sutra

Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon...

But mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.

Do you know why the Reddit Dragon is yellow?

It's got bananas for scales

Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?

They do it for the Experience.

This Zamboni operator skidded out of control into our Dungeons & Dragons meeting

Why he be all slidin into my DMs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say acid is a gateway drug..

But good luck getting to the fridge when there's a fucking dragon guarding it!

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?

A wyrmhole.

Knight vs dragon

A knight is fighting a dragon. He cuts its head, but the dragon grows two new heads. The knight cuts them, but the dragon grows 4 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 8 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 16 heads. The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 32 heads. The knight cuts t...

It was my pet dragon's birthday today

We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Overheard the neighbors kid

You're on a unicorn. Behind you there is a big bear, on one side a roaring lion, on the other side a charging elephant, and in front of you a dragon. How do you get out of this alive?

Get your drunk ass off the Merrygoround!!!!

Why are dragons so good at rapping?

Because they're always spitting fire.

Why are dragons such good story tellers?

Because they have long tails

Did you know that LSD is a really effective weight loss drug?

How are you supposed to eat if there’s a dragon guarding the fridge?

Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?

Well imagine dragon these nuts across your chin.

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

Imagine Dragons is doing a concert in Washington DC

They start singing Believer... "First things first I'ma say all the words inside my head"

"Challenge accepted" Donald Trump replies

2 dragons walk into a bar

One goes, "it's hot in here."

The other responds, "shut your mouth."


Originally by Jimmy Carr (I think, he may have stolen it)

Probably a repost, but reddit search is useless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They call Mondays, "The day of dragon..."

Ass. The day of draggin ass."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They're coming out with a Dragon Ball Z for old people.

It's called Draggin' Balls Z

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?

It'll melt your heart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?

He couldn't yet spit hot fire

I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.

I call it "Book Club"

I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke...

But I don't want to let it dragon.

What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming

A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...

During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife ...

My girlfriend smokes a lot, i call her the Dragon

Because she doesn't exist

What do you call a drummer who can’t play in time?

A Russian dragon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I didn't understand why the doctor prescribed me LSD for my constipation....

...until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

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