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Bony Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer who raised chickens had just bought a young rooster and put it in his coop...

Soon the young rooster struts up to the old one and says, "Okay you old fart, time for you to retire. I'm in charge of the hens, now."

"Are you sure?" the old rooster asks, "It's pretty challenging watching over all these hens and keeping them in line, especially for a youngster who doesn't h...

How do you make Chicken Napoleon?

You use only the bony parts.

My dad used to make homemade chicken soup that he'd call 'Chicken Napolean'

...because he made it from the 'bony parts'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is jogging in a park one day when he sees a 90+ y/o woman jogging faster than most people in the park.

She had frail white hair, weary eyes, freckles all over, and her face seemed hollow and bony. She looked quite thin, and was losing hair. He walks over to her, and says, "I noticed you jogging, and i must say, I'm quite impressed you've maintained yourself so well as to jog. Might i ask what's you s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man starts getting usually horny one night.

So he rolls over on top of his wife and starts going at it. He tells his wife, "Francine, you feel nice and tight, but your boobs are bony, She responds, "YOU'RE ON MY BACK!"

Grim Reaper

Late last night, I heard a knock at my door. When I opened it, I saw Death come to take me. He stuck out one bony finger from his shroud and motioned for me to follow.

“Please!” I begged. Just give me a few more years.” Death just silently shook his head.

“I’ll do anything,” I exclai...

She says she's picky

I told her I'm bony, and that I just might have a bone she can pick with me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandma's Tattoo(x-post credit to /u/pantyraid7036)

I was waiting on a table of a big family. 7 of them, three kids, mom and dad, and grandma and grandpa. Grandma was your typical OLD OLD OLD grandma. In a wheelchair with a blanket over her legs, looked like one of those apple dolls, spoke in a whisper.

She sees my tattoos, grabs me with her b...

Observation

The orthopedic surgeon Betty worked for was moving to a new office, and the staff was helping transport many of the items. Betty sat the display skeleton in the front of her car, his bony arm across the back of her seat. She hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares o...

An old man marries his young girlfriend...

...and naturally everyone is skeptical about the legitimacy of this relationship. He's wrinkled and arthritic, and she's a hot young blond barely into her 20's.

His brother asks, "How can you keep up with her in the bedroom?"

He puffs out his skinny old-man chest and says "My skin m...

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