Fantasy Jokes

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, ... read more

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies:

\- “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you”

She answers,

\- ”My son, you... read more

"What about a nice mini skirt, some high heels and a tight red bra?" I asked.

She spread herself on the bed and said, "Of course, baby."

I said, "Excellent. Wait here, I'll just go and get changed."

A non-fongible Tolkien.

At least that's what I told the onlookers as she yelled "I don't know this man! Call the police!"

For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college.

But she demands to be taken, seriously!

After making a hard decision, I'm now a legoless Legolas.

Two men a night.

I wanted to see what it felt like to have health Care coverage.

…Dragon?

It can’t just be Dragon.

Umm… Cragon?

No, that’s awful. Come on, think harder.

Umm…. Eragon?

….Bingo.

Silent Knight, Holy Knight

At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.

That we have health insurance.

A dwarf rides up to a brothel on the back of a donkey holding a honeycomb wrapped in oilskin. He walks up to the madam.

"My good woman, I've been alone on the road for weeks. I would trade you this donkey," he said, gesturing at the beast he rode in on, "For a room and a woman, and this honey... read more

So when I became an adult I joined the UN's security council.

But honestly, I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress.

They never even mention Bazin and Bazinra.

She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman

one to cook, one to clean.

So you don't have to wark.

I titled it pulp fiction

In fantasy, if you're exposed to radiation, you become spider-man. In reality if your exposed to radiation, you get visited by spider-man

At first I thought it’d have two nature deities: a tree-person for the land and a mermaid-like being for the ocean.

But then I thought that combining the two would be more “a fish-ent”.

The characters keep breaking their limits.

You're officially out of Luck this season.

You're out of Luck.

Because all's fair in Lovecraft and Warcraft.

<sigh>

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Cloud saves.

When I first heard it, I was so shocked that I almost fell off my dragon.

After amassing several million dollars from his role on the famed TV show ('77-'84) and from his role as Nick Nack in The Man With the Golden Gun, Herve dedicated his life to charitable causes that would benefit other "little people". Understanding that they had special needs, he self-funded a hous... read more

Like the one where she gets a decent job right out of college.

I picked what I thought was a copy of the Iliad the other day. But when I started reading it, I saw someone had just slapped the dust cover from The Iliad on a YA Fantasy novel based upon Greek Mythology. That's when I realized I had been RickRiordaned.

Experts are saying that he'll probably be hanging around and available in the late rounds.

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy.

98.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.



While this has been verified by a recent sociological study,

it appears that mos... read more

Overheard in my house, while discussing science fiction and fantasy emotional states

Wife: Great next you'll want to feel Pon Farr

Husband: Or Pon close, I'm not picky.

I asked and they agreed.
It was a wonderful experience and if anything her twin was a really nice guy.

Actually no, it’s not a dream.

It’s more of a fantasy

He had his final fantasy.

Final fantasy

One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want. The other has flying reindeer.