Why dont witches wear panties?

So they can grip their broom better.

What do you call a witch that only eats sand?

Malnourished.

What religion did the witch DJ follow?

Wicca Wicca

A Prince is Cursed by a Witch.

He can only say one word a year. But, he can decline to say one word a year and say two words the next year and so on and so forth. One day, he sees a beautiful princess. He wants to ask her to marry him. So, he decides to wait four years to ask her to marry him. But on the second year, he decided t...

What do witch doctors write their letters in?

Cursive

My dad asked me why there was a lion and a witch in my wardrobe

I said its Narnia buisness

What’s the difference between a witch and a warlock?

The spelling.

Two witches were arguing about who was the better witch

One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

"I'm the superior spellcaster", boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy's head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

"...

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A witch put a curse on me and now my penis has a steering wheel

It drives me nuts

What type of witch goes to the beach?

A Sandwitch

Adam meets a witch

The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!


Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."

Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: "Lo...

An Evil Witch kidnaps some boys...

During a nightly raid of a local village, an evil witch makes away with a few young boys she will use for her potions (hocus pocus style)

Upon arriving back at her witch den, she proceeds to cage up the terrified young boys, and begins brewing her evil potion according to her recipe.

F...

What do you call a witch in the middle east ?

Stoned.

Why do witches wear name tags?

So they know which witch is which!

(I used to say this all the time when I was younger)

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25 inch penis

A man with a 25 inch cock goes to the witch in the woods with hopes she can make it smaller.

the witch says to go further and find the magick talking frog. when you do, ask him if he will marry you. when he says no your dick shrinks 5 inches.

the man finds the frog and asks "will you m...

What did the witch say after her broom was stolen?

"Well, good thing I can drive a stick."

Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?

The prince was unbearable.

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

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A Marine, a Navy Sailor, and an Air Force Pilot are all captured by an ISIS Witch Doctor..

The Witch Doctor goes to each of the men and says "I will grant you all one wish, however at the end you will be killed and made a part of my tent."

The sailor is up first and says "I wish to see my girlfriend one last time" the witch doctor conjures the sailors girlfriend and they say goodby...

A german women and a Spanish guy get married and move to Spain...

Though she didn't know Spanish, ~~witch~~ which proved to be a problem. Each time she went to the grocery store to buy chicken's breast, she would have to point towards her own chest so the vender could understand what she wanted to buy. Things went on like this, until one day, when she wanted to bu...

The witches in Sabrina the Teenage Witch having a cat called Salem is like...

A Jewish family having a cat called Auschwitz.

What do daredevil and scarlet witch have in common? (Spoiler)

They both lost their vision

The Witch Doctor

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.

He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, he ...

A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe enter a bar; the bartender eyes them quizzically and asks, "what're you up to with all that?"

The lion responds gruffly, "Narnia business!"




... I'm sorry.

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A powerful witch once needed the blood of a true virgin to make a rare potion

She gets the blood of a person she assumes never had sex and gets their blood.

It doesn't work.

She tries another,

the potion still doesn't work.

Dismayed she uses a spell to get the blood of every person who's never had sex from the craziest of orthodox Christian damse...

My hoooker was a witch

>The madam tell her girls "Just give those guys blow-up dolls. they're so wasted they'll never know the difference"
>
>
After when they're walking home the first guy says, "I think mine was dead; She never moved or made a sound the whole time"
>
>
The s...

What do you call a witch who only eats sand?

Anything you like - she’s dead.

What does a witch doctor want for his birthday?

A little head

What does a witch use to bake cookies?

An Easy Bake Coven

What time does the wicked witch have her clocks set to?

Greenwich mean time.

Why did the witch have so many hickies?

She was dating a necromancer.

I’ve been thinking about becoming a witch for hire...

But idk if my boyfriend would be comfortable with me being a hex worker.

Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?

The husband had a Hallo-Weenie

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20 men and a witch are in a hot air balloon

One man says "We are losing air, some of us are going to have to jump out!"
The witch says "Don't worry, if you drink this potion whatever you say will appear below you, when you jump out!"
One man drinks the potion and says "Pillows" and lands in 20 pounds of pillows
Another man drinks the...

What did the Witch say when the Broom Salesman showed her a Vacuum?

I don't want an automatic! I want a Stickshift!

What do you call a group of people called to testify at the Salem witch trials?

Witchnesses.

What is a difference between wife and a witch?

5 years of marriage

Why did the witch doctor cross the road?

He’s got friends on the other side.

What do you call a witch who uses illegal spells?

A hex offender.

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A sad example of the witch hunt caused by the flood of sexual abuse allegations

A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical training has been fired for one minor indiscretion.

He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying off his school loans.

This just goes to show...

A dyslexic witch cursed me!

Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome

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A tribesmen goes to his local Witch Doctor

TM: "I have a problem, i think i have that HIV thing that the villagers keep talking about"

WD: "What makes you think that? pretty sure the only cases so far are from the monkeys"

TM: "Im sure of it"

WD: "OK, well you must have been eating the monkeys then, you know it's against...

I searched in Google "How do I know if my wife is a witch".

You could've just asked me! - she yelled from the kitchen.

3 witch fugitives were cornered by police

The redhead yelled "AIR" and a gust of wind carried her to safety.

The brunette yelled "EARTH" and a tunnel to safety appeared underneath her.

The blonde yelled "FIRE" so the police did.

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The man with a 25 inch penis.

A man who had a 25 inch long penis went to his doctor to complain that he was having a problem with this rather massive instrument and has had more than one complaint. "Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything you can do for me?" The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothin...

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3 guys and a witch....

In a small village there is a long standing rumour that the nearby woods was inhabited by a witch, several missing people and some strange smoke from a seemingly abandoned hut had fuel the rumours for years.
One day three local men decided enough was enough and made way to the woods for a few day...

Breaking News! Ursula the Sea Witch has taken over and destroyed the local shoe factory. There were no survivors.

Those poor unfortunate soles.

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door

A cheerful young noble knocks on a witch's door and tells her that he's always wanted to become a bear, and that he will reward her handsomely if she transforms him. She accepts, and starts gathering components for her spell. The man follows her around the whole time, explaining how he had read abou...

How do you know if she's a witch?

How do you know if a woman is a witch?

Throw her in a lake beaten and tied to a stone; if she floats and stays alive she's a witch if she drowns she's a normal woman.

Well we had to know our facts right?

What do we do if there is no lake or water around?

Tie her to a pole...

Why didn't the witch fall off her broom?

She wasn't wearing underwear

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A lumberjack has sex with a witch, gets his soul trapped inside a jigsaw, and seeks revenge by ruining her cheese company

*I Came. I Saw. I Con Curd.*

Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?

She forgot to use Spell Check.

King Arthur and the Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch

The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"

The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest"
*Poof!* the brunette disappears.


The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest"
*Poof!* the redhead...

What is a witch's least favorite food?

Burnt steak.

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The Witch Doctor

There's a guy walking down the street and he comes across a Witch Doctor. The Witch Doctor tells the guy that he is able to remedy any ailment, and upon doing so he charges a $50 fee. If he cannot cure the ailment, he pays the patient $100. The guy gets the address to the Witch Doctor's office and s...

A Very Short Man

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "He ...

A man meets a witch.

A man goes to a witch and asks her to be liberated from an old spell.

>I can help you, I do however, need to know the exact same words of said spell

I remember, it was: *I now pronounce you, husband and wife.*

Did you hear about the witch that died while melting down armor?

Her last words were: "I'm smeltinggg"

What's the difference between a normal woman and a witch?

The spelling

Teehee

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The Lion, the Witch and a fabulous fashion sense

What did the Lion say to the Witch when she caught him coming out of the wardrobe?

"My sexual preference is Narnia business."

Did you hear about the witch who ate 10 packs of gum?

She had some double bubble toilet trouble.

How do you make a witch scratch?

Remove the w

How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

When Scarlett Witch was at the Avengers HQ...

you could say she needed...adult super Vision.

she said she was a witch.

i met this woman through a dating service and so we went on a date.

we were driving along when she said, "i'm a witch."

i said, "prove it."

so she whispered in my ear and i turned into a motel.

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Pissed Off

A small, balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight."

The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit worse for the wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink...

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Two thieves see a horse...

Two thieves see a horse tied to a hitch outside of a tavern in a small rural town. They decide they want want to steal the horse, but they're pretty sure they'll get caught trying to make their escape from the town in the middle of nowhere.

The one thief says to the other: "I have an idea. ...

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