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Easter Bunny Jokes

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you." He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

**Edit:** Credit where due -- [/u/samvet21 informs me](/r/Jokes/comments/8cnjvk/i_saw_a_little_boy_at_the_bus_stop_eating_a_giant/dxhf9ku/) that the original joke was by Philadelphia comedian [Todd Gl...

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide its eggs?

It doesn't want anyone to know it's fucking a chicken.

The Easter Bunny walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "I suppose you want a White Rabbit." The Easter Bunny says,

"I don't care, just give me something hoppy."

What does the Easter Bunny listen to while hiding eggs?

Hip hop.

What do you call someone who isn't sure if the Easter Bunny is real?

An Eggnostic.

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

What's the Easter Bunny's favorite beer?

A double IPA because of it's high alcohol content he can get drunk quick, after dealing with those kids all day.
Oh... the the fact that it's extra hoppy is just a bonus!

Who is the Easter bunny’s favorite philosopher?

Heidegger

The Easter Bunny joined the Olympics

He heard first place gets 24 carrots.

What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?

They lived hoppily ever after.

How do things come out of the Easter Bunny?

With rear eggularity.

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

Why does the Easter Bunny drink IPAs?

He loves the hops.

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A guy runs over the Easter bunny

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbi...

On Easter morning a man and his son run over the Easter bunny...

They hop out of the car and the son immediately says "Daddy! You killed the Easter bunny!"

The man thinks to himself and then says "Don't worry, I know exactly what to do."

He goes to the trunk of the car and produces a spray can. He shakes it up and sprays the dead Easter bunny with i...

I think if women really got to know me they’d find my personality a lot like a chocolate Easter bunny.

On the outside sweet but Hollow and disappointing on the inside.

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Why doesn't the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex?

Because he has Cottonballs

The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says “What is this, some kind of joke?”

I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday

It was a hare raising experience.

What's the difference between a male and female chocolate Easter bunny?

About a quarter inch of chocolate

Here is my original joke for you Reddit. Why did the Easter bunny decide to leave his wife?

He kept finding random hares in his bed.

My seven year old figured out Easter this year

He said “The Easter Bunny isn’t real dad. It’s really a man dressed as a bunny that hides eggs in your house”

Master List for Easter Dad Jokes

Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? From Eggplants

Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.

What kind of bunny can’t hop? A chocolate one!

Why did the Easter egg hide? He ...

Why did Donald Trump lock down the White House when the Easter Bunny was escaping?

because his hare is almost gone.

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A father wants to have "the" talk with his 14 year old son

'Son, the time has come for me to tell you how children are actually made!'

The boy puts his hands over his ears and yells:

'No! I don't wanna know!'

'But why not?' asks the father, surprised.

'Look, Dad! When I was 7, you told me that Santa doesn't exist. When I was 8, y...

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

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When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

Heard this one from the priest this morning

A man was driving his car down the road, when all of a sudden the Easter Bunny popped out. The man tried to swerve in order to avoid the Easter Bunny, but it was to no avail. His basket flew into the air and scattered the eggs all over the side of the road.

The man pulled his car over, visib...

A Bunny Story..

Once upon a time there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying lifeless in the middle of the road, was the Easter Bunn...

3 Men are at heaven's gate

St peter says to the first one, "You can enter heaven if you can tell me the real meaning of Easter". The man responds, "That's when Santa brings toys to all the good girls and boys". St. peter responds, "No, that's not even the right holiday. You can't get into heaven."

St. peter turns to...

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A father tells his son it's time he learned about the birds and the bees.

Upon hearing this, the son freaks out. The father looks on in puzzlement at his son's emotional metldown.

"What the heck's the matter with you?" he asks.

"Dad, when I was 8, you said we had to have a talk about the Tooth Fairy, and you told me she wasn't real. A little part of me died...

Don’t tell me about the Birds and the Bees

A father asked his ten year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know,” the child said, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” The dad was perplexed. “Why don’t you want to know?”

“When I was six, I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny speech.’ When I wa...

A father-son talk

A father asked his 12 year old son if he knew how babies were made, so the kid started crying: I don't want to know! Please don't tell me!
The confused father asked the boy why he didn't want to know.
"Because when I was 6 I was told the easter bunny wasn't real. When I was 7 you told me the t...

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So, the day little Johnny is turning 12, his dad asks him the following question...

"Little Johnny, do you know how babies are born?"
The little boy, scared, answers immediately:
"I don't wanna know! Please promise you won't tell me, dad!!!"
The dad is really nonplussed, confused, and asks him:
"But why in the world don't you want to know, Johnny?"
Johnny, hiccuping ...

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