- My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.

What did the fresh Coke say to the flat Sprite?

“Wow, you’re sodapressing.”

Why does NASA send their workers Sprite?

Because since the Shuttle stopped flying, they can't send 7 Up any more.

Snow White once spilled Sprite on herself

So she started changing in front of the dwarves, then they had 7 up

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

So, today my boss asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite for a meeting.

However, when I returned, I realised that I had picked 7 up instead

Blundered at the supermarket earlier, went in for 6 cans of Sprite

picked 7up

Why did NASA switch to Sprite?

They were unable to get 7up

What do you call it when you freeze sprite?

Sprice.

I made a mistake at the grocery store.

I went to get 6 Sprites. Accidentally picked 7up

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A man walks into a bar and orders a Jack and Coke.

The bartender reaches behind the bar and grabs a dark red apple, and hands it to the customer.

Dumbfounded, he says “Hey man, what the hell is this? I asked for a Jack and coke!”

The bartender said “Just go a head and take a bite.”

So the man took a bite and his eyes widened “W...

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I entered a gameshow to win a million dollars...

The gameshow required guessing the unknown using your five senses.

In round one, I stuck my hand into a covered box and guess what was inside by feel. Without hesitation I knew it was seaweed and tinfoil. I would know that feeling anywhere.

In round two, we were paired and had to guess...

My wife gets really mad at me when I mess with her red wine.

I added some Sprite and oranges, and now she’s sangria than ever.

Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of sprite...

But when I woke up, I realised it was just a fantasy

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Two friends walk into a bar

The bartender greets them with a smile and a “What’ll it be boys?”
Friend one speaks up “You know what? I’m not sure. Got anything special?”

The bartender smiles and tosses him an apple.

“What the hell is this?” He cries.
“Just trust me,” says the bartender with a wink.

A...

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"Secret code"

This joke is set in India where the traffic rules are just as lax as the traffic cops.

One day, while riding to work on his bike, John realized he had forgotten his helmet.
He knew the cops would catch him when they saw this and that he'd have to bribe his way out of a heavy fine.

S...

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A Soda Called Sup

Back in the 80's, the Coca-Cola company sold Sup, a combination of Sprite, 7 Up, and a secret ingredient that was never revealed. It was a beloved beverage that was unfortunately discontinued within a couple months and without any intention of going back on store shelves. People started buying Sup l...

Magic Beer

A man was walking deep into a forest when all of a sudden a sprite appeared. She said m: “no man has seen me in over 100 years. Since you did I will grant you two wishes. What do you desire?”

The man ponders and answers “I’d like a bottle or beer that never empties”.

Poof! He is holdin...

The Submarine Party

To boost morale, a submarine captain decides to hold a party for the seamen while underwater. Given the tight space, they setup various areas throughout the boat to serve the crew. Despite the long lines at each area, the party is going well, with everyone happily eating and drinking.

About m...

What sort of elf lives in a can?

A sprite

What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?

Sprite.

Jesus turns water into wine, everyone admires him and talks about it for 2000 years..

I turn water into sprite at Chipotle, and everyone calls it stealing.

A lady walks into a veterinarian with a parrot

A lady walks into a veterinarian with a parrot and places the parrot, stiff as a board, onto the vets desk.

"Doctor I think my parrot is sick. Please make him well again!"

The vet takes a look at the parrot and puts his stethoscope on the parrots chest and listens solemnly for a few mo...

If you see someone drinking a Sierra Mist, punch them straight in the face...

...that's the first rule of Sprite Club.

A Man With One Wish

There was once a man named Benny. Benny was old, tired, and most of all sad. He had no friends, no family, and worked the worst job. The only thing he ever looked forward to was seeing his beautiful neighbor on his way home from work, Jenny.

One day after coming home from work he say a stran...

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Three men are on a road trip across the US...

One is from Kentucky, another is from Tennessee and the last if from West Virginia.

So they are on the road and the man from Kentucky gets hungry so they decide to stop and get some food. He stops and buys some peanuts and a drink. As hes checking out the lady says

"Oh you must be from...

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A man walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar & orders a jack and coke. The bartenders gives the man an apple. The guy looks baffled & the bartender tells him to just try it.

The man took a bite out of the apple. "That tastes like Jack!"

"Turn it around." Says the bartender.

The man takes a ...

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Winning Blonde !!!

A beautiful blonde walks into a casino and over to a soda machine and arrives there just before a business man who's come to quench his thirst. She opens her purse and puts in 50 cents , studies the machine , presses the Diet Coke selection , and out comes a Diet coke , which she places on a counter...

5 Russian Jokes about Vodka

#1

A Gentleman comes to the shop and asked,

- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola.

After Half an hour he comes again and asked again,

- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola.

After one hour he comes again and asked to the shopkeeper...

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My friend works at NASA developing robotic exploration vehicles...

A few years back he was intensely busy with a major project involving a multi-million-dollar remote-controlled rover, often sleeping at the lab and coming home only once every 3-4 days to shower, change clothes, and feed his cats. One of his cats got sick at that time, but he didn't even have time t...

A bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola (Russian Joke)

A man comes to the shop:
- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola.
Half an hour later he comes again:
- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca-cola.
An hour later he comes again:
- Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of... of Sprite. It seems Coca-cola makes me...

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I took the family to an amusement park and they all got thirsty at once.

Fortunately we were close to a big soda shop, a circular building with lines of varying lengths standing at most of the windows.

"Excuse me," I asked a park employee, "Which window do we go to?"

"Each window is for a different drink, so just go straight to the one for what you want. If...

Two detectives are investigating a crime scene in a plastic surgeons O.R. (Long)

After an initial forensics report they determine cause of death was blood loss.

Detective 1: I’ve seen their sort of procedure before. Good God! I thought they stopped this sort of operation years ago!

Detective 2: what is it? You’ve seen this before!??

Detective 1: oh yes....Ma...

Lively Old Lady

A doctor made a house call on an elderly lady, back when they made house calls. She was spritely and healthy, and the doctor remarked on her good condition.
"Have you ever been bedridden?" he asked.
"Oh my, yes" she said. "Many times, and twice in a buggy"

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