Vikings Jokes

Benny was your typical Viking. Strong, tall and courageous, he was the ideal viking in every way, except for one.

See, Benny couldn’t grow a beard. For all his 30 winters on Earth, he still had just as smooth a face as the day he was born.

This bothered Benny, because when he was out p... read more

To watch the Super Bowl

Norse code!

Norsery Rhymes

So when they get back to the port, they can scan-the-navy-in!

a Minnesota will do.

Mini Sodas

Chopping centers.

Y'allhalla

Norse code.

Sorry everyone!

Never mind, there’s Norway you’d laugh at it.
- my sister

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them

‘Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?’

Ole replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.’

T... read more

the axe-box

You can lead a Norse to water but you can’t make him sink.

Norse Code

Every time they get close to the bowl, they choke!

The Norsing home

Neither one has a title

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the pope-mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man wearing a Green Bay Packer jersey was struggling frantically to free himself from the ja... read more

Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

He ended up being just fine, he was unable to kick the chair out from under him.

Because of their skills in hacking

Barberians.

In the old days Vikings went raiding for gold and women.

Many were the countries where they landed and from each ‘visit’, they always brought back gold and women...until the day they landed in England.

From England they only brought back the gold.

Vikings arrived and began a settlement with help from their Irish thralls. But they weren't alone. All manner of otherworldly beings lurked in the island's hidden corners. The Vikings called these beings *vættir*; the Gaels called them *Aes Sídhe*.

Among these beings were the selkies who frol... read more

...But Vikings are Bjorn.

Because the Bears suck and the Vikings blow

They were so happy that it was nice and warm there. So, Satan turned the heat down, The Minnesotans then were happy because when hell freezes over, the Minnesota Vikings will win the Super Bowl.

One such example occurred in the 11th century, with the three belligerents being the French, the English (Anglos) and the Vikings. The rivalry between each group was quite intense, and unlike other situations, the two weaker groups at the time did not join together to fight the strongest. Instead, t... read more

The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones!