Technically Jokes

If everybody in the world held hands around the equator, most of them would drown.

Or

Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?

Or

There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

What else ... read more

Did you know that the average person has an above-average number of legs? After all, most people have two legs, while a few have none.


Did you know that if you shuffle a deck of cards, the resulting order has likely never existed before in the history of the universe?



Eve... read more

that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

We have all kicked a pregnant woman.

Does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

are just country music

I will downvote myself on the way out....

Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.

It's poaching.

...after all, I am a GROAN man.

Because he’s Fe-male

If a parent is trying to put his child to sleep and the child is refusing, wouldn’t it be illegal because technically the child is resisting a rest?

But then I realized it’s a lose-lose situation and it’s illegal either way because if the child willingly goes to sleep it makes it a kid nappi... read more

Odds are we'll be opening back up by Easter.

This actually happened last night with my girlfriend...
Me: So did you read 1984?
She: Yeah, I did...utopian society right?
Me:No it is the total opposite...do you know the opposite of utopian?
She: yeah..Ethiopia right?
and yes she was being totally serious.

It's called "government tax".

And 1 in leap years

Technically, Moses was the first man in history to download data from the cloud to his tablet. And lucky the data is also in the cloud, cause he got angry and smashed his tablet, so he needed a new one to download everything again.

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must... read more

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"... read more

A train conductor ends up killing two people while on the job. He is found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. When the day comes, he is asked what he would want for his last meal, and he requests a banana. After finishing his meal, he is strapped to the chair and electrocuted. However, by s... read more

Tenants

.............I'll let that sink in.

Wouldn’t use it on the grill, though

...so now Baby Boomers can add "Journalists" to their list of "things Millennials are killing".

Draft: Only technically savy people like ME know how to text and dri

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying
around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the
helicopter's position and course to get back to ... read more

STANlocked.

An older colleague of mine told me this. It may be older than him.

A hot air balloonist got blown way off course. Realizing how lost he was he decided to lower altitude to see if he could get some help from someone on the ground. He saw a large wilderness expance but luckily he noticed a hike... read more

The wife says "doctor, my husband suffers from erectile dysfunction". The husband interjects "well, technically it's her who suffers from it".

But maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.

"…country music."