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I can't believe how low the standards have gotten with porn majors at University

They're passing everyone with several D's these days.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

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I really hate double standards

When a girl buys a dildo, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, he's called a pervert?

I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.

Harvard Bridge

The Harvard Bridge in Boston that runs to MIT is measured in "smoots," after a 1958 fraternity prank where freshman Oliver Smoot was used as a device to measure the bridge.

There are various humorous side stories, such as:

1. when the bridge was rehabbed in the 1980s, the sidewalks wer...

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I'm sick of all these double standards... (NSFW)

When a dog licks his balls in public, nobody batts an eye... but when I do it, people are like "what the hell are you doing to your dog?"

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A history professor is lecturing his class on changing beauty standards. He shows his class a black-and-white picture of a woman who is 4'10" and has very small breasts.

"This woman won several beauty pageants in the 1930s," says the professor. "Do you think she'd do very well in a beauty pageant today?"

"Definitely not," says one of the students.

"What makes you say that?" implores the prof.

"Well," says the student, "she's very, very old today...

I take strong offense with anyone saying the Republican Party has no standards now.

In fact, they have double standards.

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Instead of trying to determine what is fake news, people should just use a trustworthy source that is known for its accuracy and high content standards.

Personally, I get my news on Facebook, because the reporters always provide all the facts and live their ideals.

It is efficient, too. For example, in less than 5 minutes this morning, I found 9 essential oils that can cure me of my sexuality, discovered that those vaccines I had 20 years ago...

The double standards in relationships nowadays are ridiculous.

It's so bad that both the man *and* the woman are getting the shaft.

I just can't find a woman in Hawaii, my standards are just too high.

But there might still be a chance if Aloha my expectations!

Did you know that to make a crib that meets Federal standards, it takes at least 763 nails?

But it only takes one screw to fill it.

A 4’6” woman walks into a matchmaking service…

A 4’6” (137cm) woman walks into a matchmaking service.

She says to the man behind the counter, “I’m really insecure about my height, so the only thing I’m looking for in a partner is that he’s shorter than me.”

The man replies, “You’ve got really low standards.”

.

[OC, ...

I'm getting so sick of these double standards...

Burn a body at a mortuary and 'you're doing your job', do it at home and you're "Destroying evidence"





P.s wasn't sure to post this to /r/jokes or /r/funny

Society is full of double standards

For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"

But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".

I try to keep up with large vehicle emission standards

But idling busses are exhausting.

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Kanye’s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

What do you call a gangster who believes in double standards?

A hypocrip.

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Women are the victim of so many double standards...

If a man fucks a lot of women, he's celebrated and called a stud and player. But if a woman fucks a lot of men, she's called your mom.

Why do teachers always laugh at the new standards for teaching math?

Because the real joke is always in the common core.

I have only one rule when it comes to attire

I dress to meet the bare minimum standards that any given occasion dictates.

I call it...

Occam's Blazer.

People on Reddit seem to have way too low standards

Everyone keeps calling me OP

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

Even pigs have standards

A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and a Philadelphia Eagles fan are in a car together. the car breaks down near a house with a barn. The owner says, "Well, I only have room for two of ya, so one's gonna have to sleep in the barn." The Hindu holy man volunteers. Five minutes later, he explains, "I cannot sl...

Double standards are the worst.

I mean, one flag is enough.

My standards for women are way too high

You could almost say they're... Double standards

What do you call a doctor that helps you conform to standards?

A protocologist

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I hate double standards...

Hell I hate standards, I'd have sex with alot more women if they didn't have them. Jerks.

I'm putting my standards up for adoption

Because I can't raise them anymore

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One has standards

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Double standards

When a Woman gets a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun.

But when a guy orders a Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with a non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built-in orgasmic scream surround sound system, he is cal...

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I hate double-standards; when my girlfriend puts on a pair of puppy-dog eyes, it's "cute", but when I do it...

Everyone is just "Oh god Mercury what the fuck did you do that puppy?!"

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Double standards are amazing.

If I take my top off I'm called a "poser".

But if a women does it, suddenly I'm not allowed to masturbate?

Double standards are not fair!

When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea.

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A young guy from West Virginia moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in West Virginia ." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and
figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you d...

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

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I'm gonna make like a standards censor

and get the fuck outta here.

Old tribal wisdom says that wh...

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however, often try other strategies. These include...
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this hor...

An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest.

An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest and tells him, "Father, me old dog died. Can ye say a wee mass for the old gal?"

"No. Can't do it. The Church doesn't do funeral mass for pets, but I'll tell you what, the Protestant church down the hill will most likely do it. The...

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What happens when you put Donald Trump and a female sex crazed donkey in the same room?

Nothing. Even donkeys have standards.

I absolutely despise double-standards...

Except when it's me, then it's okay.

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