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Skilled Jokes

Why do hospitals love skilled secretaries?

Because they’re typo-negative.

Interviewer: It says here you're skilled at saying unexpected things?

Me: Yes, I am.
Interviewer: Hmm, I thought you were going to say something unexpec-- oh, you're good.

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision

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[NSFW] Skilled Frog

A woman walked into a pet store one day to get some supplies. She went up to the cash register to pay for them and she saw a sign next to a small fish tank that said, "Pussy eating frogs - $50. So not to be embarrassed she whispered to the cashier, "I'll take one of those." The cashier said, "Ok, no...

Why are photographers less skilled than they used to be?

They're not developing.

A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic.

"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how much more you get paid than me.."
"Yes?.." says the surgeon.
"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it up, fix the valves...

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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any ...

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Tattoo

A man wanted to get a tattoo. The only issue was, the tattoo was an devilishly intricate design. He went to his local tattoo parlor, only to get turned away as the artist was not skilled enough. He tried again in a busy parlor in the middle of a nearby city, only to be told it was too difficult once...

Relay runners are really skilled.

You gotta hand it to them.

What do you call a Greek philosopher who's skilled on the pitch?

Soccerates.

Abdul and his friend Mohammed are trying to migrate to australia as skilled workers.

They go to the Australian embassy in Lahore and start filling out the application.

Mohammed goes into an interview room with an embassy officer and they start discussing his work
Experience and whether he qualifies as skilled labor. ‘So what do you do, Mohammed?’ says the embassy worker. ...

What’s it called when a Peeping Tom is skilled in his game?

Peak Performance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a horny, skilled fisherman?

A master baiter

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A skilled, anonymous criminal was infamously wanted for multiple cases of robbery and theft.

...and it was rumored that he was planning to steal the riches of the wealthy mayor of the city. Since this criminal was known to have pulled off such fantastic heists before, it was no doubt that he would eventually successfully achieve this goal, which meant that the police station was on high ale...

What's a magician skilled in the art of hickeys called?

A Neck Romancer

What do you call an Alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?

A dialogator

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What do you call a guy who is skilled in the art of oral sex?

A cunnilinguist.

When playing a game against a less skilled player, it’s considered fair to give them a handicap.

That’s why I always break my opponent’s kneecaps before a game of Monopoly

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A group of highly skilled doctors meet at an international medical conference to boast of their greatest achievements

The Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, our medicine is so advanced that we are able to chop off a man's testicles, put them on another man and in only 6 weeks he is up and looking for work!"

The German doctor snorts and says: "That's nothing. In Germany, we can take out a bit of man's brain, pu...

What do you call a fat person that is skilled in everything?

A well rounded person

What do you call a banker who is also a skilled fisherman?

A loanely master-baiter.

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I am like the Bruce lee of sex. No I am not amazingly handsome and highly skilled and charismatic,

but I will knock the wind out of your body with my 1 inch punch.

While on vacation in Spain with my wife..

I I started to feel funny. I had some pain in my chest and felt short of breath. I chalked it up to the long day we had just had, but I continued to feel worse. As we got out of the taxi and walked into the hotel, I collapsed.

It became apparent to my wife and I that I was having a heart atta...

My friend was upset that he was passed over for promotion at work by an attractive older colleague.

I said, “Don’t cry over skilled milf.”

My grandad killed 50 German pilots in WW2

He wasn't a very skilled mechanic.

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