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Cos he wanted a Tan

At the other end of this room,” the Game Master points out, “is a beautiful, young, naked, consenting woman. If you reach her, she will fulfill any and all of your fantasies.”

The mathematician and engineer both look at each other with excitement.

“The only rule is that each step you...

The mathematician and engineer both look at each other with excitement.

“The only rule is that each step you...

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It's called the Fibbing Nazi Sequence.

After creating the world, the Lord looked at it and he said to the animals "Go forth and multiply!"

The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, please forgive us, we cannot do as you command, for we are adders".

The Lord turned to the trees and said "Fall over and build furniture from y...

The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, please forgive us, we cannot do as you command, for we are adders".

The Lord turned to the trees and said "Fall over and build furniture from y...

tan = sin / cos (definition of tangent)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

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Skeptical, a passerby asks, "What makes your dog so mathematical?"

"Just watch this!" replies the man smugly. "Koro, what's three minus two?"

"Wan!" barks the dog, as all Japanese dogs do.

"What's four plus seven?"

"Wan wan!" barks the dog.

"See? One one! Eleven! K...

"Just watch this!" replies the man smugly. "Koro, what's three minus two?"

"Wan!" barks the dog, as all Japanese dogs do.

"What's four plus seven?"

"Wan wan!" barks the dog.

"See? One one! Eleven! K...

The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Testicles :)

The Fib-Bonacci Sequence.

Because organizing your finances is key.

The physicists buy 3 tickets(one for each) and the mathematicians say they have a special method and buy 1 ticket(1 for the 3 of them)

On the train the mathematicians lock up in the same toilet and when the conductor knocked and asked for the ticket, one mathematician put his hand out with t...

On the train the mathematicians lock up in the same toilet and when the conductor knocked and asked for the ticket, one mathematician put his hand out with t...

The plot was predictable and the special f(x) was terrible.

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What makes life 100%??

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G ...

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G ...

A calcuearlier

It's sin.

In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.

Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.

Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.

When we add it all up, we get...

Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.

Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.

When we add it all up, we get...

They gave it a bad oπnion

There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

The tan lines

A π-thon.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

The cruise ship is 600 ft long, 150 ft wide, and 140 ft high, but only 110 ft above water.

It has 18 decks, and can accommodate 5860 passengers, holds a crew of 1800 personnel.

There are 18 lifeboats, each can take 150 passengers in case of emergency, also 20 inflatable rafts with maximum capa...

It has 18 decks, and can accommodate 5860 passengers, holds a crew of 1800 personnel.

There are 18 lifeboats, each can take 150 passengers in case of emergency, also 20 inflatable rafts with maximum capa...

It has its ups and downs...

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

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No, not log, it’s a fucking beaver you dipshit. They don’t understand math

They can cube the number 2.

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with ...

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with ...

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

when suddenly the alarm bells ring:

a rogue differential operator has been sighted.

Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!

The differential op...

a rogue differential operator has been sighted.

Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!

The differential op...

I have nothing more to add

Square Root.

Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

... 2^x and 3^x notice that their friend e^x is standing alone in a corner looking kinda sad. They decide to approach him and try to convince him to have a little fun with the other Functions, but he refuses.

So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

They asked if I had any beer. I said no, but I have some root beer and square glasses to drink from.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

We have all heard the saying that Time is money.

We also know that Girls take time and money.

There is also a saying that Money is the root of all evil.

Thus if my math is correct...

Time = Money

Girls = Time x money = Money^2

Money =√Evil

Thus by...

We also know that Girls take time and money.

There is also a saying that Money is the root of all evil.

Thus if my math is correct...

Time = Money

Girls = Time x money = Money^2

Money =√Evil

Thus by...

An algebra.

Hypotenuse.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

The heat of the meat is directly proportional to angle of the dangle given that the mass of the ass is constant.

Inequalities

And the bartender says, "close the door! Were you raised in a barn?!"

But the cows keep shuffling in.

Because they don't understand English.

But the cows keep shuffling in.

Because they don't understand English.

They cover the walls in graph-iti.

'I Love You' is a mathematical function where,

'I Love' - is constant and ;

'You' - is a variable..

'I Love' - is constant and ;

'You' - is a variable..

Spermutation.

**Why can't Atheists solve exponential equations?**

Cause they don't believe in a higher power.

Cause they don't believe in a higher power.

Mathematical jokes make you number

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.

"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.

The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."

"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.

The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Aunt Sally

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

The average person is mean. :-)

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are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.

The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so they measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.

The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an o...

The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so they measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.

The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an o...

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