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Mathematical joke - Why did Sin go to the beach?

Cos he wanted a Tan

A mathematician and an engineer play a game to get laid…

At the other end of this room,” the Game Master points out, “is a beautiful, young, naked, consenting woman. If you reach her, she will fulfill any and all of your fantasies.”

The mathematician and engineer both look at each other with excitement.

“The only rule is that each step you...

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There's actually a mathematical formula to describe all the Republicans lining up to pretend like the January 6th attack didn't happen.

It's called the Fibbing Nazi Sequence.

A divine mathematical story

After creating the world, the Lord looked at it and he said to the animals "Go forth and multiply!"

The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, please forgive us, we cannot do as you command, for we are adders".

The Lord turned to the trees and said "Fall over and build furniture from y...

Tacos are imaginary -- a mathematical proof

tan = sin / cos (definition of tangent)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

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A man is standing with a Shiba Inu with a sign that says "Amazing Mathematical Dog!"

Skeptical, a passerby asks, "What makes your dog so mathematical?"

"Just watch this!" replies the man smugly. "Koro, what's three minus two?"

"Wan!" barks the dog, as all Japanese dogs do.

"What's four plus seven?"

"Wan wan!" barks the dog.

"See? One one! Eleven! K...

All the mathematical functions are having a party

The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

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If maths is mathematical, quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Testicles :)

Which mathematical phenomenon only uses imaginary numbers?

The Fib-Bonacci Sequence.

If you are having trouble unlocking your front door, take out your wallet and arrange all the bills in mathematical order.

Because organizing your finances is key.

3 mathematicians and 3 physicists want to go on a train ride

The physicists buy 3 tickets(one for each) and the mathematicians say they have a special method and buy 1 ticket(1 for the 3 of them)

On the train the mathematicians lock up in the same toilet and when the conductor knocked and asked for the ticket, one mathematician put his hand out with t...

I just finished watching a mediocre documentary on mathematical functions.

The plot was predictable and the special f(x) was terrible.

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MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS OF 100%

What makes life 100%??
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G ...

What do you call a machine used to predict the answer of a mathematical question before it has been proposed?

A calcuearlier

What is the mathematical function condemned by church?

It's sin.

We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.

In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.

Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.

Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.

When we add it all up, we get...

I made a mathematical joke back in the day

They gave it a bad oπnion

All the mathematical functions went to a party...

There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

What’s the most mathematical aspect of summer?

The tan lines

What do you call a mathematical snake?

A π-thon.

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Mathematical joke

The cruise ship is 600 ft long, 150 ft wide, and 140 ft high, but only 110 ft above water.
It has 18 decks, and can accommodate 5860 passengers, holds a crew of 1800 personnel.
There are 18 lifeboats, each can take 150 passengers in case of emergency, also 20 inflatable rafts with maximum capa...

I've been reading a book about the shape of the mathematical functions of sine and cosine...

It has its ups and downs...

I just invented a mathematical equation to solve climate change!

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

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What is a beaver’s favorite mathematical function?

No, not log, it’s a fucking beaver you dipshit. They don’t understand math

Did you know that wombats are capable of complex mathematical operations?

They can cube the number 2.

An Old But Gold Mathematical Joke

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with ...

A mathematical limerick

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

A village of mathematical functions is slumbering

when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential op...

I've solved every single mathematical problem!

I have nothing more to add

What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation?

Square Root.
Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

At a Mathematical Functions party...

... 2^x and 3^x notice that their friend e^x is standing alone in a corner looking kinda sad. They decide to approach him and try to convince him to have a little fun with the other Functions, but he refuses.
So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

My mathematical friend came over one day.

They asked if I had any beer. I said no, but I have some root beer and square glasses to drink from.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

True Evil - Mathematical Proof

We have all heard the saying that Time is money.

We also know that Girls take time and money.

There is also a saying that Money is the root of all evil.

Thus if my math is correct...


Time = Money

Girls = Time x money = Money^2

Money =√Evil

Thus by...

What does a mathematical mermaid wear when she can't find her seashells?

An algebra.

What is a stoner's favorite mathematical term/status?

Hypotenuse.

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There is a mathematical theory for good sex

The heat of the meat is directly proportional to angle of the dangle given that the mass of the ass is constant.

What are Muslim men's favorite mathematical equation?

Inequalities

An infinite number of mathematically inclined cows walk into a bar...

And the bartender says, "close the door! Were you raised in a barn?!"

But the cows keep shuffling in.

Because they don't understand English.

Did you hear about the mathematical vandals?

They cover the walls in graph-iti.

'I Love You' is a mathematical function

'I Love You' is a mathematical function where,

'I Love' - is constant and ;
'You' - is a variable..

You being born is mathematically called a...

Spermutation.

A mathematical joke of mathematical-ness

**Why can't Atheists solve exponential equations?**



Cause they don't believe in a higher power.

Dad jokes can make you numb...

Mathematical jokes make you number

Math

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.

"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.

The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Who is the rudest person in my mathematical family?

Aunt Sally

Two mathematics professors are sitting in a restaurant.

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

Mathematically speaking..

The average person is mean. :-)

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A Mathematician, and Physicist, and an Engineer

are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.

The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so they measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.

The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an o...

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