XYZ!

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

What makes life 100%??

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G ...

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G ...

They gave it a bad oπnion

It's sin.

A calcuearlier

They can cube the number 2.

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

The plot line was predictable. The special f(x) was awful too.

The tan lines

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

It has its ups and downs...

Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.

2 Yetis matched on a dating app one day. One was American, the other European. In spite of American Yeti’s peculiarities and the yawning physical gap between them, they hit it off. Having gone back and forth for a little while, American Yeti asks European Yeti for a picture. European Yeti happily ob...

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with ...

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with ...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

The cruise ship is 600 ft long, 150 ft wide, and 140 ft high, but only 110 ft above water.

It has 18 decks, and can accommodate 5860 passengers, holds a crew of 1800 personnel.

There are 18 lifeboats, each can take 150 passengers in case of emergency, also 20 inflatable rafts with maximum capa...

It has 18 decks, and can accommodate 5860 passengers, holds a crew of 1800 personnel.

There are 18 lifeboats, each can take 150 passengers in case of emergency, also 20 inflatable rafts with maximum capa...

He wanted to keep them under the sand, but the beach was so narrow that it could only contain one of them: sine or cosine. He decided that, using his mathematical skills, that he would stack sine over cosine - but that resulted in tan! He did not want to get tan. So he stacked cosine over sine... <...

There were two nuns

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

No, not log, it’s a fucking beaver you dipshit. They don’t understand math

... 2^x and 3^x notice that their friend e^x is standing alone in a corner looking kinda sad. They decide to approach him and try to convince him to have a little fun with the other Functions, but he refuses.

So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

We have all heard the saying that Time is money.

We also know that Girls take time and money.

There is also a saying that Money is the root of all evil.

Thus if my math is correct...

Time = Money

Girls = Time x money = Money^2

Money =√Evil

Thus by...

We also know that Girls take time and money.

There is also a saying that Money is the root of all evil.

Thus if my math is correct...

Time = Money

Girls = Time x money = Money^2

Money =√Evil

Thus by...

A π-thon.

They asked if I had any beer. I said no, but I have some root beer and square glasses to drink from.

There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

An algebra.

Some many years into the future...

Scientist : Yessss!!!! After years of work, I have finally created the perfect AI humanoid. This robot has its own brain and can think and do exactly like a human being. Can't wait to try it out.

He switches humanoid on and thinks of a challenging t...

Scientist : Yessss!!!! After years of work, I have finally created the perfect AI humanoid. This robot has its own brain and can think and do exactly like a human being. Can't wait to try it out.

He switches humanoid on and thinks of a challenging t...

I have nothing more to add

when suddenly the alarm bells ring:

a rogue differential operator has been sighted.

Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!

The differential op...

a rogue differential operator has been sighted.

Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!

The differential op...

Square Root.

Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better. They decided to settle the argument by posing questions. The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated mathematical problem. With a great deal of effort, several books of mathematical tables and techniques,...

Hypotenuse.

They cover the walls in graph-iti.

Spermutation.

Inequalities

And the bartender says, "close the door! Were you raised in a barn?!"

But the cows keep shuffling in.

Because they don't understand English.

But the cows keep shuffling in.

Because they don't understand English.

'I Love You' is a mathematical function where,

'I Love' - is constant and ;

'You' - is a variable..

'I Love' - is constant and ;

'You' - is a variable..

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take o...

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take o...

**Why can't Atheists solve exponential equations?**

Cause they don't believe in a higher power.

Cause they don't believe in a higher power.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

The heat of the meat is directly proportional to angle of the dangle given that the mass of the ass is constant.

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

One nun was called Sister Mathematical because of her gift for numbers and the other nun was called Sister Logical because of her gift for reasoning. They soon noticed that a man was following them. They would speed up, and he would speed up. They would stop, and he would stop. Sister Mathematical s...

The average person is mean. :-)

Aunt Sally

I have a joke about a gym trainer, but I have to warm up before I tell it.

I have a joke about the IT department, but you have to put in a ticket before i can tell you.

I have a joke on aerospace engineering, but I don't think it will fly.

I have a joke on LinkedIn, but I'm not ...

I have a joke about the IT department, but you have to put in a ticket before i can tell you.

I have a joke on aerospace engineering, but I don't think it will fly.

I have a joke on LinkedIn, but I'm not ...

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