Practical Jokes - 24 Hilarious Practical Jokes

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A Practical Decision

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn...

After a long discussion and practical evaluation, my wife and I decided we don’t want to have kids...

We’ll be telling them tomorrow, after dinner.

The practical pick up line

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He notices a lovely woman sitting alone a few bar stools down, and as the evening goes on, he catches her eye and smiles at her a few times. Amazingly, she gets up, moves down the bar and joins him. "Every time you smile at me, it makes me want to invite you...

An old school practical joke that may work today...

My dad always tells me about a practical joke played on an assistant in a big office setting when he was younger.

The assistant was the guy with the least experience and was in charge of answering the phone. He was not known as someone who was particularly bright.

My dad called posing...

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday.

“Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank."

After a slight h...

A mathematician and an engineer play a game to get laid…

At the other end of this room,” the Game Master points out, “is a beautiful, young, naked, consenting woman. If you reach her, she will fulfill any and all of your fantasies.”

The mathematician and engineer both look at each other with excitement.

“The only rule is that each step you...

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one...

I once did a practical joke on a leprosy patient

He told me to stop pulling his leg

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Blind Pilots

Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and th...

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Practical thought:

A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!

Professional Practical Jokes on the Groom

A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night.

"I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter.

"I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love,...

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The Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild:

The Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild:
Since he was a chief in modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Never...

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.

That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

My friend ate so much exotic spice, he practically turned into another species.

He's a cumin being.

An African Lumberjack

An African lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe.

"Take a couple swings at that tree over there." The foreman said.

The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single ch...

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepa...

What do you call it when you pull a practical joke on a pirate?

A plank.

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said “Don’...

As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door.

He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!

There was a stand-up comedian notorious for his practical jokes.

So one day, during a performance, he asked that anyone from the audience come on to the stage. A blond girl walked up. He asked her, "Can you tell us a joke?". The blond girl was well aware that the comedian was trying to pull some prank. She had decided that, no matter what, she would not fall for ...

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A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.

He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me ...

You're on your death bed and You're known as a practical joker in the family. What do you say as your last joke with your dying breath?

The cornyer the better!!

I won’t be posting any jokes over the next few days. I've got to revise for a practical exam in pest control.

I'll probably be up all night swatting.

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Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.

As the ...

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