The anti-vaxx basketball team lost every game this season

Apparently they never take any shots.

A man is playing basketball with his son...

“Son, if you can make this shot, I’ll get you a new amp for that guitar you play. But if you miss, you have to eat this bag of sand. What’ll it be? &?”

What do you get when you cross a professional basketball player with a geographer?

The horses name was friday

How do Mexicans play basketball?

Juan on Juan.

A schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a football fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are football fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,

"Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?

"Because I'm not a football fan, " she replied....

Love is like basketball...

I’m not good at it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The story of Rolph Louie, the worst basketball player to ever make it to the NBA.

There was once a basketball player named Rolph Louie, who somehow made his way into the Chicago Bulls. This decision to pick up Rolph for the roster made no sense to anybody; it baffled the commentators, the fans and even the players on the team. Rolph could barely dribble a ball...

In 99% of...

Why didn't the basketball player go on vacation.

He didn't want to get caught traveling.

What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?

Basketball players get actual injuries.

What's a basketball player's favourite kind of cheese?


Why is Jesus afraid of basketball?

Because he was traumatized when he got crossed real hard

What do you call to Mexicans playing Basketball?

Jaun on Jaun!

Today, I passed a basketball to a blind kid...

When he gave it back a while later, he said it was a really good book.

What do you call an angry basketball team?

The Saltics

I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.

I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.
He brought a frisbee with him.

My two Mexican friends decided to see who's the best at basketball

They played Juan on Juan

Why can’t basketball players have kids?

Because they always dribble before they shoot

Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society

They really are people to look up to.

My father is really good at basketball

He always told me "I've been Duncan all my life"

Why wouldn't Jesus Christ be a good basketball player?

Because he'd get crossed up

If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?


Why was Cinderella cut from the basketball team?

She kept running from the ball...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Low wage workers play basketball. Tradesmen go bowling. Middle managers play softball. Upper managers play tennis. CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

A team of black inmates play basketball against a team of white inmates in prison. The black inmates win. Why?

Home court advantage.

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped-up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”

“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.

“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your...

A basketball champion in Paralympic walks into a bar

Wait a minute...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym.

His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."


A jewish boy's life is a lot like a game of basketball

They both begin with a tip-off

How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

They stand near the fans!

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because he heard the ref was blowing fowls.

Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

I was playing basketball with my 13 year old son and I beat him.

I probably wouldn't have if he hadn't won.

Why did Obama have a basketball court built in the white house?

So he could fake left and go right.

My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

Why does jesus get nervous when playing basketball?

He's afraid of getting crossed up.

Basketball tournament

Two priests joined up together to play one-on-one basketball. After the game was over, one of the priests says: "I wonder if there is basketball in heaven"

The other says "of course there is, heaven is a place of joy and since we both find joy in playing basketball it must be in heaven"

I played basketball with a friend yesterday

You know you're bad at basketball when you start off playing horse and end up playing pig... At one point we considered just playing Pi, but then it would never end!!

What do you call a shark that plays basketball?

A Sharq.

The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court

The game would be cancelled.

What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?

Mad hops.

Why would Indians make great basketball coaches?

They invented Curry

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There’s a store near my house that sells nothing but basketballs and alcohol.

They call it Rubber Balls and Liquor.

Yao Ming is starting his own basketball team

It's called Crazy Reach Asians

What do Jewish people and basketball games have in common?

The tip off.

A blonde women's basketball team rallied and then tied up the score at the end of regulation...

...and the coach took out a bottle of wine and handed out glasses to the team.

After imbibing, the blonde team obviously ended up losing.

Coach was asked later by, "Why the early celebration?"

Coach said, "We weren't celebrating, we're not that stupid. I served wine because I h...

Why hasn’t columbine won a basketball championship since 1999?

They lost their best shooters

What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall.

They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini golf.

What’s a Jew’s Favorite Part of basketball?

Free throws

Blind basketball players...

You've got to hand it to them

Basketball team and a woman shipwrecked on a deserted island...

After a week a woman said: "I'm sick of this" and killed herself.

After a second week a random man said: "I'm sick of this" so they buried her.

After third week another random man said: "I'm sick of this" so they dug her up...

Why are Sovereign Citizens bad at basketball?

They're always travelling and they don't recognize the court.

Why do male basketball players have a problem going to the bathroom?

Because they just can't stop dribbling.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a nazi and a basketball?

You're not supposed to kick the basketball.

What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?

Kevin Deodurant.

How did Link win the basketball game?

With his hookshot... (Sorry)

Why was the basketball court wet?

Because all the players kept dribbling on it.
(Not sure if repost, but I find it hilarious)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sex is like basketball:

I'm 5'3" and don't play a lot of basketball.

So I gave a blind guy a basketball.

I think he's still trying to read it...

I used to be addicted to basketball...

but I rebounded.

Give a teen a basketball and he would have fun for a day

Give a blind man a basketball and he would read it like a book

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why was the black man good at basketball?

Because he practiced.

What is it called when a basketball player from Boston attacks you in the ocean?

A Shaq attack

My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot

Musta been like 5,000 degrees in there

Rumor has it there's a basketball court on the roof of the Supreme Court building.

It's the highest court in the land.

The basketball coach storms into the president office and demands a raise..

The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

“Jesus Christ, man,” protested President Kubritski, “you already make more than the entire English department.”
“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” th...

Why was Jesus mad at the community basketball game?

Because Peter denied him 3 times.

Why did they cancel basketball in the Special Olympics?

All the players kept getting disqualified for excessive dribbling.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why are black people good at basketball?

Because they shoot, steal, and run.

Why did the Canadian meteorologists lose to the American meteorologists in basketball?

Because it was unfair in height

“Why do you practice basketball everyday, son?”

“Why do you practice basketball everyday, son?” the Father Nebula asked his son, Little Nebula, when he saw him dribbling a ball.

“Because I want to be a superstar someday, Dad,” Little Nebula replied.

“Im proud of you, son.” Father Nebula hugged his child.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Now I know why black people are so good at basketball

It's because theyre so used to putting their hands up in defense.

What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

I found this written on a basketball hoop

Things I hate

1. Graffiti

2. Lists

3. Irony