Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.

It will be missed.

What’s the difference between being in prison and playing on a basketball team?

On a basketball team, your guards won’t leave you hanging.

The anti-vaxx basketball team lost every game this season

Apparently they never take any shots.

What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?


What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Basketball players don't like to leave their home town

We hate travelling so much.

A team of black inmates play basketball against a team of white inmates in prison. The black inmates win. Why?

Home court advantage.

What did the cheeze say when he scored in basketball ?


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A schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a football fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are football fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,

"Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?

"Because I'm not a football fan, " she replied....

Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the torontosaurus rexes

Boo me, I deserve it

Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?

because she ran away from the ball

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the basketball player get when he went to Russia looking for free prostitutes?

Nothing but nyet.

A man is playing basketball with his son...

“Son, if you can make this shot, I’ll get you a new amp for that guitar you play. But if you miss, you have to eat this bag of sand. What’ll it be? &?”

Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?

Because they are dead

Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...

"The players are all idiots!" says my baby sister watching basketball.

"Why do they keep trying to throw the ball?" she asks.

"The basket has a **hole** in it!"

Which fast food chain would be a good basketball player?

Dunkin' Donuts

When flat-earth people play basketball they must be like...

"Yo pass me the frisbee bro!"

What do you get when you cross a talented basketball player, and an untrustworthy royal vizier?

Kareem Abdul-Jafar; although these days I hear he's a magical genie who dabbles in writing Sherlock Holmes novels.

What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?

Basketball players get actual injuries.

Two basketball recruits are taking a college entrance exam.

The coach says,” men all you have to do is finish this sentence and you’re admitted to school. “

He continues, “Old MacDonald had a _____?”

One of the jocks thinks for a moment and proudly says,” Old MacDonald had a farm.”

The other says, “Yea but how do you spell farm?”


Love is like basketball...

I’m not good at it.

My two Mexican friends decided to see who's the best at basketball

They played Juan on Juan

What do you call to Mexicans playing Basketball?

Jaun on Jaun!

What do you get when you cross a professional basketball player with a geographer?

The horses name was friday

Why can’t basketball players have kids?

Because they always dribble before they shoot

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The story of Rolph Louie, the worst basketball player to ever make it to the NBA.

There was once a basketball player named Rolph Louie, who somehow made his way into the Chicago Bulls. This decision to pick up Rolph for the roster made no sense to anybody; it baffled the commentators, the fans and even the players on the team. Rolph could barely dribble a ball...

In 99% of...

Today, I passed a basketball to a blind kid...

When he gave it back a while later, he said it was a really good book.

Why is Jesus afraid of basketball?

Because he was traumatized when he got crossed real hard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Low wage workers play basketball. Tradesmen go bowling. Middle managers play softball. Upper managers play tennis. CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

Did you hear about the wheelchair basketball team that was banned from the Paralympics?

They all tested positive for WD-40!

Which super hero is the best at basketball? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Spider-Man, he has the best fade-away.

Why was Cinderella cut from the basketball team?

She kept running from the ball...

Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?

He was afraid of the net.

My father is really good at basketball

He always told me "I've been Duncan all my life"

Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society

They really are people to look up to.

Why wouldn't Jesus Christ be a good basketball player?

Because he'd get crossed up

A jewish boy's life is a lot like a game of basketball

They both begin with a tip-off

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped-up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”

“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.

“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your...

If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?


What's a basketball player's favourite kind of cheese?


Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because he heard the ref was blowing fowls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym.

His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."


I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.

I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.
He brought a frisbee with him.

I played basketball with a friend yesterday

You know you're bad at basketball when you start off playing horse and end up playing pig... At one point we considered just playing Pi, but then it would never end!!

I was playing basketball with my 13 year old son and I beat him.

I probably wouldn't have if he hadn't won.

Basketball tournament

Two priests joined up together to play one-on-one basketball. After the game was over, one of the priests says: "I wonder if there is basketball in heaven"

The other says "of course there is, heaven is a place of joy and since we both find joy in playing basketball it must be in heaven"

Why does jesus get nervous when playing basketball?

He's afraid of getting crossed up.

Why did Obama have a basketball court built in the white house?

So he could fake left and go right.

What do you call a shark that plays basketball?

A Sharq.

What do Jewish people and basketball games have in common?

The tip off.

The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court

The game would be cancelled.

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s a store near my house that sells nothing but basketballs and alcohol.

They call it Rubber Balls and Liquor.

What’s a Jew’s Favorite Part of basketball?

Free throws

They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall.

They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini golf.

What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?

Mad hops.

Why hasn’t columbine won a basketball championship since 1999?

They lost their best shooters

Blind basketball players...

You've got to hand it to them

What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

Why was the basketball court wet?

Because all the players kept dribbling on it.
(Not sure if repost, but I find it hilarious)

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What's the difference between a nazi and a basketball?

You're not supposed to kick the basketball.

Why do male basketball players have a problem going to the bathroom?

Because they just can't stop dribbling.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, Alex sees an ad in the newspaper that says “Circus Looking for New Talents”.

Alex says to himself, “Eh, what the hell. I’m pretty talented,” and calls the circus.
A lady answers him.

“Hello,” she says.

“Hi, is this the circus?”


“I’ve heard you’re hiring.”

“You’ve heard correctly, sir. What is your name?”



Why are pilots bad at basketball?

Because they always travel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the black man good at basketball?

Because he practiced.

How did Link win the basketball game?

With his hookshot... (Sorry)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex is like basketball:

I'm 5'3" and don't play a lot of basketball.

What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?

Kevin Deodurant.

Give a teen a basketball and he would have fun for a day

Give a blind man a basketball and he would read it like a book

So I gave a blind guy a basketball.

I think he's still trying to read it...

What is it called when a basketball player from Boston attacks you in the ocean?

A Shaq attack

The basketball coach storms into the president office and demands a raise..

The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

“Jesus Christ, man,” protested President Kubritski, “you already make more than the entire English department.”
“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are black people good at basketball?

Because they shoot, steal, and run.

My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot

Musta been like 5,000 degrees in there

a couple prisoners were playing basketball out in the yard when a car pulled up just outside the fence.

he said "pass to me I'm free"

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