A 55 year old lady suddenly started learning to swim instead of her usual routine of going to a temple !!!!

Everyone was curious and asked her: "why the change in your interest to swimming now a days?"

The lady, with a look of helplessness replied: "Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel with each other my Daughter-in-law always asks my son : - "If your mom and I fall into water, whom will y...

My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He still can't say the word for "please" though, which I think is poor for four

What do you call a group of witches learning how to cook?

An easy-bake coven.

I spent the last year learning mandarin

Now I peel real fast

What do you call an amputee learning karate?

Partial arts

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Girlfriend: "I'm new to learning about male anatomy how does your penis work?"

Guy: "It doesn't."

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Learning the ways..

A Red Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, 'Me want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure chief, coming right up...'

He gets the Red Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, p...

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An ensign was spending his first few days aboard a submarine learning his duties and a litany of regulations.

His job was unusual, but simple; tend a pair of oxen in a miniature field on deck 7. The purpose of this agricultural endeavor was to see if crops might one day be grown inside a spaceship; a submarine was an adequate stand in.

He had never driven cattle before, but in short order, he got th...

My dad always believed in learning things by doing them

so when I was a kid, he threw me in the lake








just so he could teach himself CPR

Today I was learning about electrical safety.

I was shocked.

I got a new plant that survives on water and learning new words...

It's cool and all, but I had to install a hydro-phonics system.

Learning to drive

A guy walks into a bar an orders a beer. "I've really been wanting to learn how to drive a stick shift," the guy tells the bartender. "But I can't find a manual."

We all know the app for learning to speak another language is Duolingo but did you know

That to learn to speak in tongues, you need Cunnilingo?

Why is learning linux stupid?

All of the lessons are full of sudo science

What's it called when a cowboy has a learning disability?

Yeehawtism

It must be hard for people learning to spell in English. For example, there is one silent K in "knight", four silent K's in "knickknack"

And three silent K's in "Republican".

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Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

What do you call a recently hired conductor who’s still learning the job skills?

A trainee

Our new puppy is still learning how to bark..

All he can come up with now are ruff drafts !

A headline from the Dallas Morning News

Dallas Morning News - A 15 year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with chil...

What's the best thing about being Joe Biden?

Waking up every day and learning that you're the president.

I've been learning to use a new web browser lately, but my teacher is being really harsh to me.

He's my Tor-mentor.

Mice

A family of mice were out walking, and were suddenly surprised by a large cat. Father Mouse stood his ground, drew himself up to his full height, and shouted BOW-WOW-WOW!!! at the cat. The cat, alarmed, ran off.

The small mice were very impressed. “That was fantastic, Dad! How did you do that...

I would assume spiders adapt pretty quickly to online learning.

After all, they are already comfortable on the web.

Do you know any maths jokes?

Yeah |ly|

When I was learning trigonometry my teacher explained the trig functions by referencing the unit circle. And when I asked about the unit circle she referred me to the functions.

I said miss this seems like circular reasoning to me

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Maybe repost, but it is a fabulous joke so I'll risk it. (Long, and works better when spoken)

A man is waking up in the morning, when he reads in the newspaper that the circus is coming to town. So he decides to go and see. He gets into his seat and the show starts. He watches the lions, the elephants, the tight rope walkers, and at the end there's a clown insulting people in the audience. T...

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Have you ever read a story that is 100% true but sounds like a joke?

You're about to.

This happened when i was 19, in 2008.

I'm italian, and at the time i was dating this girl that was one year older than me. She was studying oriental languages and cultures at the uni and was also learning chinese (mostly cantonese).

One day we went on a date to ...

An ice fishing joke never before posted here.

Billy Bob and his family decided to go ice fishing. So they loaded up all their tackle and headed up north and found a lake where they could go ice fishing with a tackle shop nearby in case they needed anything. When they got there the man behind the counter said they'd need ice picks for breaking t...

We were learning trigonometry in math

I asked the teacher for help

He told me, "You must be soh cahnfused right now."

My friend next to me told him, "That was a toapnotch joke, sir."

I’m thinking about learning how to make mirrors

It’s something I could really see myself doing

Learning to read Braille with my index finger hasn't been easy so far

In fact, it's been a pretty bumpy ride

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"I'm groping the balls of the storm."

The manager hesitated for a moment on the phone. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" he asked the newly hired immigrant worker.

"I...rub the storm...balls?" the man said, coughing.

Before he could ask again, the manager heard a little commotion on the line, followed by a younger voice. <...

Do you guys know about the tree that was cut down for learning to speak?

She dialog.

Recently I've been learning how to draw optical illusions so I can surprise my girlfriend with one on her birthday.

Unfortunately she walked in and caught me practicing the other day.

Her: "What's that!"

Me: "I can explain...it's not what it looks like!"

Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?

I for one...

With all of the confusion with moving between online learning and in-person learning I lost my thesaurus

I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was

My parents have 4 TV remotes and I’m trying to figure out what they do.

I’m remote learning.

I've been learning keyboard shortcuts

I have decided to start learning and using keyboard shortcuts, they are really convenient and can actually save you quite a bit of time.

For example:

The Windows key + D will minimize everything and go to your desktop

Alt Tab will switch between applications

Alt Right wi...

Why does Pinocchio hate learning about physics?

It’s all about string theory nowadays

My son was getting super stressed learning about decimals.

I guess you could say it was getting pretty tenths.

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Job advertisement

A company was searching for someone to pack items. The only requirement for the job was to be able to count to ten.

The first applicant comes in and is asked to count to ten.

>10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

Well, that's backwards. Can you also do it in the correct ord...

My parents asked my why i was suddenly learning a foreign language?

I told them, "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition "

I've been learning lockpicking for a year now.

And Honestly it has opened a lot of doors for me.

I was learning about the gastrointestinal system...

It was a lot to digest.

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