My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.

Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?

I for one...

Got a phone call waking me up in the middle of my remote learning class today.

My students are such nerds.

Trump was rushed to the hospital after learning that 3 Brazilians died from the Coronavirus

Lying in the hospital bed his face still white with shock, he finally got the courage to ask shakily and in a quiet voice, “How many people is a brazillion?"

We were learning about energy in 3rd grade...

I raised my hand curiously and the teacher called on me and I asked “What energy do lights use?” She looked at me hesitantly, as if I asked about a forbidden knowledge, questioning what she should respond with and said “I would tell you but the answer is very shocking.” Frustrated with the answer, ...

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

“What are you reading, old man?” he asks.

“I’m learning Hebrew, comrade,” replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, “What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.”

“I’m learning Hebrew for when ...

Having a son the last eight years has been a learning experience, and has taught me all about responsibility.

"I'm really proud of myself," I told my girlfriend.

"You shouldn't be," she replied. "He's 24."

The class was learning about subtraction and the teacher calls on little Johnnie to solve a problem.

“Johnnie, suppose there are five birds sitting on a fence together and you throw a rock at one of them. How many are left?”

Johnnie ponders the question for a moment and finally replies enthusiastically: “Zero!”

The teacher frowns. “How did you arrive at that answer?” She asks.
...

There’s only 1 rule in learning English

1.) Their our know rules

A teacher was trying to find out where each of the kids thought they were at in their learning.

The teacher was standing at the front of the class and said “stand up if you think you are stupid.” There was a long gap and then Johnny stood up. The teacher the. asked “why do you feel stupid Johnny?” Johnny then replied “ I don’t I just felt bad that you were the only one standing up.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I'm groping the balls of the storm."

The manager hesitated for a moment on the phone. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" he asked the newly hired immigrant worker.

"I...rub the storm...balls?" the man said, coughing.

Before he could ask again, the manager heard a little commotion on the line, followed by a younger voice. <...

The class is learning about the holocaust, when the teacher asks if anyone's grandparents died in the deathcamps. Little Billy puts his hand up.

"Oh... Class, let us hold a minute of silence for him. If it is not too indiscreet, how did he die?"

"Fell off a watchtower."

TIL Helen Keller has a waterfall named after her, to celebrate her story of learning about water.

It's named Helen Keller Falls

After learning physics I finally got it

You know how when things heat up, they expand?

That means I'm not fat, I'm hot.

If you re bored during lock down try finally learning the difference between your and you're.

Their, I finally said it.

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.

Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.

Two in one direction, then ...

I would assume spiders adapted pretty quickly to online learning.

After all, they were already comfortable on the web.

I've been learning to read an analogue clock

I’ve recently started, so far I can only tell 6:30 on an analogue clock but I’ve got that position hands down.

While learning CPR

Chuck Norris brought the practice dummy to life.

Calculus has a steep learning curve...

But at least you know exactly how steep the learning curve is!

My friend said he's learning bass guitar...

...Something about this sounds fishy.

I'm currently learning English (not my native language) and my teacher keeps wearing pentagrams, bathing in lamb's blood, and praising Lucifer

I'm not sure, but I think it's TEFL worship

Elementary school students are learning about the 13 colonies

Teacher: Massachusetts is in New England

Student: what’s new England?

England: *walks in* nothin much what’s new with you

This one just came from my 3 year old, she’s still learning jokes: What do you call a monkey on a swing?

A monkey going “wee-wee”

Normally her jokes don’t make *any* sense, but this one actually made us laugh

Why did the pirate take so long learning the alphabet

Because he spent years at C

I’m learning a soon to be dead language

It’s called Italian

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently started learning Morse code, but it's really hurting my sleep schedule

FUCK U TOO RAIN

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Learning from Construction workers *long*

So a boy is home from school one day, and he's driving his mother nuts. Finally she gets fed up and tells him to go across the street where they are doing construction on a house, and not to come home until he learns something.
A few hours pass, and the boy comes home. The mother asks "Did you ...

I wasted my life

I fear I've wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me "girls love a cunning linguist".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, “Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight...”

Three plus seven, that son of a bitch is ten."

Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.

Infuriated, the m...

So We were learning about cell division in biology class today.

I ended up stubbing my toe somehow and i had to go home because it hurt so bad.
When my sister asked what hurt, i said “mitosis.”

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