There’s only 1 rule in learning English

1.) Their our know rules

If you re bored during lock down try finally learning the difference between your and you're.

Their, I finally said it.

My friend said he's learning bass guitar...

...Something about this sounds fishy.

Calculus has a steep learning curve...

But at least you know exactly how steep the learning curve is!

I'm currently learning English (not my native language) and my teacher keeps wearing pentagrams, bathing in lamb's blood, and praising Lucifer

I'm not sure, but I think it's TEFL worship

Elementary school students are learning about the 13 colonies

Teacher: Massachusetts is in New England

Student: what’s new England?

England: *walks in* nothin much what’s new with you

This one just came from my 3 year old, she’s still learning jokes: What do you call a monkey on a swing?

A monkey going “wee-wee”

Normally her jokes don’t make *any* sense, but this one actually made us laugh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Learning from Construction workers *long*

So a boy is home from school one day, and he's driving his mother nuts. Finally she gets fed up and tells him to go across the street where they are doing construction on a house, and not to come home until he learns something.
A few hours pass, and the boy comes home. The mother asks "Did you ...

I’m learning a soon to be dead language

It’s called Italian

Why did the pirate take so long learning the alphabet

Because he spent years at C

So We were learning about cell division in biology class today.

I ended up stubbing my toe somehow and i had to go home because it hurt so bad.
When my sister asked what hurt, i said “mitosis.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently started learning Morse code, but it's really hurting my sleep schedule

FUCK U TOO RAIN

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.


One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare....

Learning to waltz is hard.

It feels like I'm taking two steps forward, then one step back.

You're an intern when you're learning to be a doctor

But when you learn to pull teeth, are you indentured?

My teacher said we wouldn't be learning relative direction today.

I downright up and left.

I recently started learning to play the violin, and I think my neighbor enjoys it.

I assume he's throwing bricks through my windows to hear me better.

My friend is learning to write code and he just lost an eye..

He wants to write a patch but he can’t see sharp.

Now that I’m an dad, I’ve been learning dad jokes. But I Can never find the opportunity to use them.

Guess I gotta look father

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kids in a class are learning how to use the word “definitely”

One girl says “the sky is definitely blue” that is wrong

One boy says “the leaves are definitely green” that is wrong

One boy asks “are farts lumpy?”

The teacher says no,

He says “then I definitely shit my pants”

I am really inspired by countries and companies that hire people with disabilities.

I am really inspired by countries and companies that hire people with disabilities.

Even people with learning disabilities and mental issues are able to get a job and make a living.

A great example of this excellent trait is the USA, where a disabled man is the president.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Girlfriend is leaving me after learning that I spent our life savings on a penis extension.

She said that she could not take it any longer.

When I was learning to drive in the winter, my Dad told me, "If you're ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it."

One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.

Then breaking through the flu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A newly married woman is distressed to find out her new husband plays so much golf...

My husband is on the links every day, she confides with her neighbor, I feel so neglected at times, Why don’t you learn to golf so you can be with your husband every day? the neighbor advises, yes that’s a great idea,
Next day she goes to the club to look for a woman pro, after finding one she’s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Factual Headlines

Day 1: A famous priest arrives in Seattle airport gets accosted by a reporting asking, "Sir, what are your thoughts about Seattle prostitutes?"

The priest responded, "There are prostitutes in Seattle?"

*News headline the next day: "Famed priest asks about prostitutes upon arriving Seat...

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