UPJOKE
ascertainstudyfindseelarnhabituationdiscovermemorizeteachtraindeterminecheckfind outtakeprepare

Learning Jokes

A 55 year old lady suddenly started learning to swim instead of her usual routine of going to a temple !!!!

Everyone was curious and asked her: "why the change in your interest to swimming now a days?"

The lady, with a look of helplessness replied: "Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel with each other my Daughter-in-law always asks my son : - "If your mom and I fall into water, whom will y...

My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fast learning

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy,

\- "Son, how old are you?"

\- "Eight", the boy replied.

The man continued,

\- "Do you know what t...

A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.

I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!

In math class the students are learning about fractions.



The teacher asks Lindsey, "What would your mother do if she had 7 kids, but only 4 apples?" Lindsey says, "She'd make applesauce!"



And yes, this joke is from the days before tape diagrams...

r/Jokes is a great place to learn English

Not just because of the vocabulary and fun, but also because reading the same thing over and over again is crucial in the learning process.

Rule #1 for learning english

Their our know rules!

After learning physics I finally got it

You know how when things heat up, they expand?

That means I'm not fat, I'm hot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Learning about sex by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching Fast and Furious

It's angrier, quicker and much more to do with family than real life.

I've been learning to make pasta recently...

And I'm pretty good apart from a Fusilli mistakes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy in Canada is learning about the world...

He is curious about how things work, and one day he goes to his father and asks:

"Dad, if big dogs can have little dogs, how come big trains don't have little trains?"

Never unprepared his father says, "Go ask your mother."

The dutiful son finds his mother:

"Mom, if big d...

Parents should be cautious about having there kids do virtual learning...

The internet has a lot of PDF files.

A young blonde was learning to swim...

...and was being held afloat by a raunchy swim instructor.


"Will I really sink if you take your finger out?" She asked.

Learning to collect trash wasn't that hard.

I just picked it up as I went along.

You're an intern when you're learning to be a doctor

But when you learn to pull teeth, are you indentured?

Little Johnny is in second grade. They’re learning about different animals

The teacher asks Suzie, “Suzie, what do chickens give you?”

Suzie answers, “eggs!”

Teacher says, “very good Suzie. And Mark, what do pigs give you?”

Mark says, “bacon!”

Teacher goes, “excellent, Mark! Johnny, what do cows give you?”

Johnnie answers, “usually homewo...

Elementary school students are learning about the 13 colonies

Teacher: Massachusetts is in New England

Student: what’s new England?

England: *walks in* nothin much what’s new with you

I’m learning sign language…

Not sure if I’m any good at it, but I never heard any complaint.

Learning the birds and bees

A little girl goes to her mother and tells her she learned how babies are made. Her mother asks her what she learned.

"A boy puts his peepee in a girls mouth, and a baby is made."

"Oh, sweetie!" replies the mother, "That's not how babies are made. That's how jewelry is made."

The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?.

The law...

When I was learning to drive in the winter, my Dad told me, "If you're ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it."

One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.

Then breaking through the flu...

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

“What are you reading, old man?” he asks.

“I’m learning Hebrew, comrade,” replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, “What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.”

“I’m learning Hebrew for when ...

What do you call an amputee learning karate?

Partial arts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

A baker trainee is learning how to make bread.

While preparing the dough, he asks his boss: 'How do I know it no longer needs kneading?' 'As soon as your asscrack gets drippy with sweat', the boss says.

After a while, the trainee, tired of kneading, sticks his hand in his pants.
'No, not yet.'

What's the difference between learning vowels and learning computer science?

When learning vowels, it's only sometimes "why?"

Learning photography is hard.

Last week I got kicked out of a photography workshop for indecent exposure.

After learning about Roman Numerals, no wonder they had so many orgies:

...the sixty-nine position took 4 people!

Did you hear about the banker who's also learning chemistry?

He's got a lot of compound interest.

It must be hard for people learning to spell in English. For example, there is one silent K in "knight", four silent K's in "knickknack"

And three silent K's in "Republican".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.