UPJOKE
characteristicexpressionfacetlookviewvistafaceprospectperspectivemanifestationcountenancevisagescenepanoramaleer

My ex was perfect in all aspects except that her armpits smelled

Hands down the best girl I have known.

Out of all the aspects of Tigers game

Nobody ever faulted his driving....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

you know what makes virginity special compared to other aspects of life?

it's the only thing I never lost

Don't make a decision before you have studied all its aspects ! Don't make a decision when you are angry !

An iron company manager, while touring the company noticed a young man leaning against the wall and doing nothing.

He approached him and said softly, "How much is your salary?"

The young man was calm and surprised by the personal question.

He answered, "2500 dollars a month, sir...

What are the two aspects of a joke?

Command C and Command V

A couple was going to get married…

but unfortunately they had a car crash and died. Before the gates of St Peter they stood thinking maybe they could get married in heaven. So they ask St Peter, and Peter says ”Well it’s quite rare, but let me see what I can do.” So St Peter goes into heaven. As the couple sits for a couple of months...

A Catholic bishop, a Baptist minister, and a Jewish Rabbi meet in a bar.

The three men sit next to each other and begin talking about life and the aspects of their various faiths. The town they all lived in was in a very heavily forrested area and after a couple of drinks the men have an idea.

Each man puts down a couple hundred bucks and they decide to have a com...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated.

The doctor is very surprised at this. “Are you sure?!”

“Yes,” said the man. “I’ve thought about it, long and hard, and I’ve decided I want to do it.”

“But are you sure you’ve thought this through?!” the doctor continued. “This will have a huge impact on important aspects of your life i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German taxi driver was on his shift...

He is driving one of these Mercedes models that have the Mercedes emblem as a hood ornament.

A guy waves him down, so he stops and let him enter. It was a tourist, in town on his first trip to Germany. The driver asks: "So, how do you like our country?" The guy answers: "Oh, it's great. B...

Determination. Precision. Focus. Accuracy.

All attributes I have while shaving my pubes that I should really put into other aspects of my life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New CEO at a candy company

A large candy company hires a new CEO. The CEO decides in her first month to review the various aspects of the business in order to look for areas that can be improved.

After several days of looking over various aspects of the business she gets to reviewing the Department of Taste. As she is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mosquito that brings disease...

A village elder is brought a mosquito caught from a swarm. The townsfolks fear it may bring disease. So the elder says - "I will take this mosquito, and I will determine the aspects of the disease that it may bring." The elder rips up the mosquito into pieces. He places each one into a tiny square d...

In Star Wars Legends, Rey discovers an unusual force ability...

...this allows her to turn as dark as the night like a shadow and even become the shadows of others, useful for creeping up on enemies. The First Order Stormtroopers spoke about this amazing power having heard about it from a commanding officer Rey fought with the force. "Sir was spun around and kno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe is a fairly respected member of the community

He has always follow the rules and did the right thing. Wanting to expand his horizons he decided to experience a little bit of the seedier aspects of life. He had settled on finding himself a prostitute. As he was walking down a dimmly lit street, a hushed voiced whispered to him, "twenty bucks a...

A Good Detective

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are camping together. When they go to sleep, Sherlock says, 'Tell me what you can see when you're looking up?'
'Thousands of stars,' says Watson.
'And what's your conclusion from all this?'
Dr Watson starts to think. 'If I consider it from astrological aspects,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple is about to be married

An elderly couple have been dating for a few months and have finally decided it was time to be married. Before the wedding, they meet over dinner to discuss the various aspects of marriage such as finance, housing etc. The old man then decides to broach the subject of their physical relationship. ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.