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Take Home Jokes

Take-home final exam

Bill always had a problem with school. He suffered from a fear of tests. When a professor hands out tests, it was almost like his brain shut down. He couldn't remember anything.
One of his professors gave the students a take-home test and told them to bring it back the next week for their final g...

On our hike yesterday, my partner wouldn't let me take home any volcanic rocks

And to be honest, I'm still a little basalty over it.

LPT: Don't Take Home Furniture Sellers

They'll never let you get away with just the one night stand.

Onlyfans but it's a bunch of wholesome Vietnamese guys that you can take home to your parents and bring honor to us all.

It's called: OnlyPhans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asked for 3 volunteers to each take home $1 and spend it in the most economicall way they could think of.

The three students chosen were Betty, Samuel and Adam.

The next morning the teacher asked them to stand up and tell the class how they spent their $1.

Betty: "I went to the shop and bought a bag of lollies. I took them home and I had some, I gave some to my Brother, some to my Mother,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the library and tried to take home a book on suicide

The librarian said "fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

I am starting a club for middle aged women to gather and find younger men to take home and make love to in front of their husbands.

I'll call it, the Coug Cucks Clan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the War, some German PoWs were working in a field in England when one of them called out to the guard.

By the bank of a nearby river a small boy was screaming for help. His dog had jumped in the river and couldn't get out. The German yelled "I go help, *ja*?". The guard gave him the okay and the German ran and jumped in the river.

In a few moments he had freed the dog from the weed it was tang...

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